July is OVER...

Well if that wasn't one of the craziest Julys ever I don't know what was! Brent and I were talking last night that after all that, the October surprise is bound to be bonkers!

I think I've mentioned before that I write a letter to my grand nephew and my grand niece every year. My niece is going to give them to them when they graduate. This year every time I sat down to write I'd think, well that was a crazy stretch let's let it sit for a bit before I try and write to them about it. AND THEN SOMETHING ELSE WOULD HAPPEN. I'll write the letters this week anyway, because I can't keep pushing them off, but I'm not sure how to keep it all to one page at this point. Just June to July has been bonkers. Debate, assassination attempt, election withdraw, Democratic party actually being in ARRAY?? I mean...what?  

We live in interesting times...heaven help us all.

So for me, personally how's it going? I'm still gaining weight but it's slowed down a bit. Not sure if that means my thyroid is kicking back in or if my body is just like, this shit is ridiculous, give me a breather! I'll get retested in August and we will see where I go from there. But at least it's not going up at the rate it was. That's my bright side. I'm not gaining in chunks, just in bites. 

I talked about how my social media break was more of a soften. Didn't comment, didn't direct post to FB, just stalked a few times. Limited time on Facebook but increased time on Threads. But it actually did help, I think. I wanted the feedback from people on what I was seeing politically but I didn't want the arguments that I would have had if I was commenting. I'm not sure how August will go since I didn't completely disengage. I don't know if I will end up with the high level of use I had to start, or if I will maintain a little bit of the distance. 

Dry July was a success for the second year in a row, and you know, all the months in-between as well. Though it was touch and go there for a bit. If the Dems hadn't surprised me by actually having their ducks in row I would have picked it back up again, I'm sure. So thank you President Biden and Vice President Harris for the smooth transition. Still don't really miss drinking and still feel like it's just so much healthier for me not to drink that I don't see picking it back up any time soon. I like a fancy tasty drink, but I don't need it have alcohol in it. Brent isn't sure if I'll ever start again. I've gone years and years and years between drinks before so it's not like this is unusual. It just freaks people out to know someone who is sober but not an alcoholic or religious. 

Writing is going along. I started posting my longer story on Sundays and that actually will take care of my fiction goal for the year, but I'll still be writing extra fiction and some fiction for Dana so I will end up past that number. Which is nice, especially since I don't want to only talk about politics here but my mind is going to be full of mainly politics until November so I might need the padded fiction numbers to make up the difference. 

August has not been a great month the past few years, I'm not putting any pressure on it or myself for it to be great this year either. But I am going to do a public daily gratitude post again. Mostly because I don't like the Fat Mum Slim POD prompts so thought I'd switch it up and do a daily gratitude photo. Gives me some freedom of choice and also a reminder to lessen the August suck. 

So I'll be doing that, keeping up the writing, I've started a 6 week running program to try and get to that goal of running a bit faster and less gassed for another 5K, I've increased my weights again and I'm monitoring that but so far so good, I might be able to start making some progress getting my biceps back. Still getting a twinge here and there in my elbow, but I think it's a the muscles are a bit weak, not a there is still a tear there tweak. But cautious still. A few doctor's appointments and finalizing Sabbatical planning. 

Welcome to the downhill part of the year. Hold on, it's going to be a wild ride!

Time Flies...But Does it Swing?

Fourteen years ago today was the last concert for Katie. After years and years of lessons, practice, recitals, concerts and even a CD recording this was it. No more PYJO concerts, no more summer picnic recitals with her solo teacher, no more school concerts, no more competitions. 

We didn't realize it was going to be the last though. 

We knew it would be the last of that round for us. She was on her way to college in just a few weeks and that portion of our lives was closed. But we sort of figured she'd keep playing. Maybe sit in with PYJO when she came home over the summer. We bought her a silent mute so she could practice at school without making too much noise for roommates and dorm mates, but she was busy. Classes and studying and labs and without the reason for practice (no concerts or competitions means no real drive to practice) meant she just didn't play anymore. 

So that was it. A chapter closed.

And the next year was really weird. We had gotten used to working schedules around her various lessons and practices. We had marked time passing with Fall concerts, Christmas Concerts,  winter Jazz competitions, Spring concerts and Summer workshops. Multiple bands and multiple rounds of these things for years. And then...nothing. 

We had no idea who the best high school jazz bands were for the first time in four years. We didn't know who was guest slotting in with the advanced PYJO band for their performances. We didn't have a single concert on our calendar.

So weird. 

We got used to it. But there are still times when I miss hearing her play. She started in elementary school, after all. I did ask her the other day if she ever missed it, and she said a little. She had actually recently picked up her trumpet just to see if she could still make a recognizable sound out of it. If she ever wanted to get back to playing she would need to have it worked on, a good cleaning and such. But at least she knew she still had it somewhere in there.

I never played an instrument when I was growing up. In middle school they started a band program and they did a test it out and see what instrument you might want to play day. We got to choose what we wanted to play and then try out a handful of other things. I remember trying the flute but don't remember if that was my choice or just what they handed me. I think it was what they handed me, because I have a vague recollection of wanting to play the saxophone. What I do know is that when I brought the information home the cost of renting an instrument meant no band for me. 

I did take piano for a semester my senior year. I needed a credit and it fit my schedule. And I wanted to learn piano. My friend Alex took the class as well and we both had a terrific time learning how to play random songs. But it wasn't the same as really learning an instrument. It was a filler class. Nobody was taking it seriously. We didn't learn to read music or any sort of theory, it was just put your fingers here and play. Super fun. But not the same.

Brent was a singer in school. All of the choirs. Zero hour classes for Entertainers (Highland's show choir). Concerts and competitions and all the same sort of schedule that Katie did. And again, didn't sing again after graduation. A few of our friends who were in choir with him went on to the show choirs at college, but the Navy didn't have one so...

We have friends who kept performing. One who is a music teacher for his day job and gigs constantly with bands and plays for his church. We have a couple of friends who were in bands after graduation. One who had a fairly successful one that even got to have the too many drugs and egos meltdown that marks early stardom. And one of our friends was successful when we met him and is still selling tickets for shows. 

I always thought it would be really cool to have that talent. 

But we have a lot more that were like Katie and like Brent who just don't play or sing anymore. Or if they do play or sing it's for their church, or at karaoke. 

Not a lot of trumpet karaoke, but maybe she'll make it a thing and start again. 

That would be cool.

And I would be there telling everyone "that's my talented baby...just listen to those high notes."

Books Chapter 3...

Books Chapter Two 

Ellie looked up from the filing she was doing to see Gloria walking into the office.

“Tardy?”

“Yep. I’ve reached my ‘absolute limit’ so here I am to ‘see the principal about my lack of respect’ and I guess find out if he has any extra laying around that I could borrow?”

“Did you tell her about the bus?”

“Do you think she cares?”

“Probably not.”

“Ellie, you can get back to your work, Gloria, Mr. Jacobson will see you now.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ellesworth. See you at lunch?”

Ellie smiled, “Yeah, I’ve got something for your mother too. Remind me.”

“Girls, you can chat later.”

“Sorry, Mrs. Ellesworth.”

Ellie got back to filing records. She had needed an extra elective credit for the semester and working as a TA for the main office was fun. For her anyway. Except when she saw Gloria coming in almost weekly for being late to her first class. Then it was just frustrating.

“Gloria, I see you’ve reached the end of Ms. Erickson’s patience. Have a seat and let’s figure this out.”

Gloria sat down facing Mr. Jacobson and waited for the lecture and punishment that was coming her way.

“So why were you late today?”

“The same reason why I’m always late when I’m late. The bus was behind schedule.”

“And as this is a recurring issue, is there an earlier bus you could take.”

Gloria sighed. “I tried that. If you look in my record, you’ll see what happened.”

Mr. Jacobson paged back a few pages. Gloria’s attendance record was lengthy. “The police were involved?”

“Yes, the earlier bus gets me here a half hour before the main office is open, so I had to sit outside and wait. Apparently, teenagers waiting outside an empty school an hour and half before first bell are suspicious, so someone called the cops. They came and made me sit in their police car waiting until Mrs. Ellesworth got here and vouched for my identity. I guess my student ID wasn’t enough. So now I just hope the bus won’t be late, though I know it will be on Fridays and that’s just something I have to deal with.”

“Why do you know it will be on Fridays?”

“Fridays are Mrs. Hornby’s shopping day.”

Mr. Jacobson shook his head, “I’m sorry?”

“The reason the bus runs late some days is because Mrs. Hornby needs more time getting on and off the bus. She uses a walker and moves pretty slowly anyway. When she has to get on and off the bus, we have to get her walker on, then help her on, then get her settled and get her walker stowed. Then we have to do it all in reverse when she gets to her stop. It adds about 10 to 15 minutes to the route, which makes me about 5 minutes late. And she always does her shopping on Fridays so I know that day I will be late. But she also rides other days if she has errands to run.”

“What do you mean we get her settled?”

“We, like me and the bus driver, some days that’s Louie and some days that’s Maria, they alternate schedules, and whoever else is riding that day. We all help out. It takes a village and all that.”

“I think the expression is it takes a village to raise a family.”

Elle just looked at him, “Yeah. That’s what I said.”

“So, you are late on Fridays by about 5 minutes and then sometimes on other days as well, depending on Mrs. Hornby’s schedule?”

“Yes.”

“And how long has this been happening?”

“Since the first Friday of Freshman year.”

“So why am I just hearing about it now, at the end of first semester Junior year?”

“Well because normally I just have to have my attendance sheet signed by Mrs. Ellesworth but now, I’ve reached the end of that road and Ms. Erickson sent me to see you. And because before this year every other teacher I’ve had for first period has understood and realized that nothing happens in the first five minutes of class anyway. Ms. Erickson is the only one who decided it was unacceptable and I needed to find a way to fix the issue. Which I tried. And then…”

“The police.”

“Yep.”

“Okay, so how about this? How about we look at changing your first period next semester?”

Gloria smiled, “I tried that at the beginning of this semester. Because of my math and science classes this is the only time I have to fit in world history. Once you are on the AP track you don’t have as many options to shuffle your schedule. No offense to your hiring practices, but I would never have kept Ms. Erickson as a teacher if I had any other option.”

“You’ve really tried to fix this issue with no luck.”

“Yeah, I have. I know she doesn’t think so, and thinks it should just be easy to fix, but things aren’t always an easy fix.”

“Okay, I have one more suggestion. Is coming in on the earlier bus something you can do easily? It’s an awfully early start to the day and I know a lot of you kids would rather get that extra sleep.”

“It would be fine, I’m up early to have breakfast with my mom before she leaves for work. I just don’t want to be stared at by the neighbors or have the police called on me for coming to school early. And I can’t just sit in a coffee shop and wait, if that’s going to be your suggestion. They don’t let you stay if you don’t buy something.”

“No, no that’s not it. You know Mrs. Grambling?”

“The librarian? Yes, of course.”

“We’ve been given a grant to redo the research section of the school library, but it is turning out to be a massive undertaking. There are books and magazines and articles that need cataloged. She needs help and time to complete this. We’ve added a zero-hour teacher assistant class period to work with her on this project. Would you like to be added to that list of students? It would work out with the earlier bus arrival time, you’d get credit, and you’d be on time for your first period without issue.”

Gloria couldn’t believe it. She had expected to get detention, not a solution, and a solution that sounded great. More time in the library? And get credit for it? “Yeah, I mean, yes, please. I’d really like that.”

“There are only finals left for this semester. Are you going to be able to make it those on time?”

“Yes, sir. I’m actually staying with Ellie Sunday and Monday so I can get here on time no matter what Mrs. Hornby does. I do try to make sure I’m not late. It just doesn’t always work.”

“I understand. I really do. I think we’ve come to a good solution. See Mrs. Ellesworth on the way out and she will have a late pass for you, as well as your new schedule.”

“Already?”

“I figured you would take the opportunity when it was presented.”

“Did you talk to Ellie about this already?”

“Well, she might have mentioned that it wasn’t exactly fair that you constantly get tardy slips while a couple other kids in your class are allowed to come in late without issue because they bring Ms. Erickson coffee.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything about that.”

“And you didn’t. But your friend Ellie is, well...”

“Not able to keep a secret? Yeah, she’s not.”

“I find her honesty to be refreshing. And helpful. I mean look at this, we fixed your scheduling issue, got a chance to get to know each other a little bit better and also managed to get you out of a study period that I don’t believe you really needed.”

“So, if you already knew what was happening from Ellie why did you ask me?”

“I appreciate Ellie’s forthrightness, but I also want to make sure that I give everyone a chance to tell their own story. She knew you’d like the library idea, but what she believes she knows and what someone else knows they believe might not be the same thing.”

Gloria nodded, “Well for what it’s worth, if Ellie tells you something about me, you can take it as true. She knows me better than anyone else does.” She thought about telling him that Ellie also thought he was the best principal they’d ever had, but she didn’t. Ellie might feel compelled to always talk, but Gloria still thought some things were better left unsaid.

Books Chapter Four

Sports are Sportsing...

Are you an Olympics fan? 

I usually watch a little bit of a handful of sports during each set of Olympics. I catch a bit of the gymnasts, a little swimming, a tiny bit of track, maybe some beach volleyball. I try to see all of the USWNT's soccer games, and this year I'll watch the men's team for the first time in 16 years. In the winter I watch most of the US and Canadian hockey games, a little curling, some speed skating and skiing events but not usually enough to be able to tell you who won anything.  

At different times in my life I've watched more.

When I worked for USA Boxing I watched almost all of the boxing events, for instance. I had seen a lot of those boxers at different events leading up to the Olympics and of course I knew our boxers, and wanted to see them do well. I can't remember the last time I watched boxing though, maybe 10 years? But working for the US Olympic movement it was, obviously, a much bigger deal. I saw the athletes at the training facility during training or competition or photo ops. Had lunch in the cafeteria where I saw the weightlifters put away GIANT plates of food and the figure skaters do the math in their heads on how much each bite would "cost" but once you've talked to Apollo Ohno in line for a burger you feel like you are rooting for friend when he hits the ice, so it makes sense that during that stretch of time I was a lot more interested in The Games as a whole. 

And at different times I've watched less.

I know there were lots of years growing up where I probably didn't watch a single event. TV wasn't really big in my house growing up, and we didn't sit down and watch as a family. It wasn't until I was a teenager that we each had our own TVs in our rooms and we would watch TV by ourselves. For me that mostly meant MTV. 

Oddly though, even though I cannot remember ever really paying attention to the Olympics growing up we still all know who the Olympic athletes were. Especially the gymnasts. Though that could have been because a friend's father was a world class gymnast and gymnastics coach, so maybe it was just through osmosis...

We didn't watch the opening ceremonies last night and it sounds like we missed a doozy. But we were at an exhibition soccer match between the Thorns Academy and Wrexham's women's team. The game was fun. Crazy to think how much of a fan base a team from Wales has here in the US but they do. Our young Thorns won 7-0 so I feel a little badly for Wrexham, but it's preseason and we were the last stop on their US tour so they were probably pretty tired as well. I hope they work on their defense and have a good season. 

But...anyway...

We missed the opening ceremonies. I've seen pictures and felt badly for everyone out in the rain. But it looks like they all still had fun. Which is sort of supposed to be the point, isn't it? I mean medals and winning and all that, but getting a large group of people together to play is supposed to be fun, right? It's supposed to increase world camaraderie through sport. I'm not sure that's what it does, but I think that's what it's supposed to do. 

Or it's supposed to have something to do with satanism if you listen to the far right, but I mean, according to them, what doesn't?  

So for the next little stretch nothing will be on TV that you are expecting. People will be talking about things like they are experts when they have no idea what it takes to actually do that thing. A few athletes will rise up and capture everyone's attention. For a few weeks. And the far right will complain and say it's all Biden's fault that it rained during the opening ceremonies that you shouldn't have watched anyway because they were all woke and satanic and stuff and, by the way, we should also blame Kamala because Australia is asserting their dominance in the pool. 

And the news will focus on the games and ignore that Trump said the part about destroying democracy out loud last night. 

Happy Summer Games, everyone!

Paint A Picture...

Today's POD prompt is "hand painted"  I posted a picture of a painting that I've used for prompts before. It's one of my favorite things. 

The basics of the story are that I took a photograph, a friend saw the photo and painted it, then she gave me the painting. So I have a painting of my photograph. 

But it's more than that. 

The photograph of a spectacular sunrise was taken out of a plane window as I left Albuquerque. Albuquerque gets the most beautiful sunrises and sunsets. The sky turns all sorts of vivid colors. The light reflects off of the mountains and they turn different colors. The Sandias and the Manzanos. Watermelons and Apples. Their names match their colors (though that's not actually why they were named that way, just a happy coincidence). 

It happened to be a moment in time where I consciously thought, "Take the picture because it's important to remember."

What is important to remember?

Well, that no matter how much life might suck at that moment, it goes on. The sun comes up. The day begins again. And if you are lucky you will still find some beauty. 

And, let me tell you, right then life sucked. I was at a crossroad. The road behind me was "everything that came before" and the road ahead was two choices and I wasn't sure at that point what choice I was going to make. Neither road looked particularly appealing. But I knew I was going to have to keep moving forward. And I knew that I was going to be deep in the suck for awhile. 

But that didn't change anything. 

The sun comes up. The day begins again. The world does not stop just because you need a breather. 

And if you are lucky there is still beauty.

So I took the shot. 

And it was spectacular. I posted it to Facebook. It became the wallpaper on my phone for a few years. 

And life did go on. I made a choice. Then made a few others. The suckage eventually eased.

A couple of years later Skippy was staying with Matt and Stephanie in Canada and they drove down to Seattle while Brent, Katie and I drove up to visit with them and with another friend, Janine, who lives in the Seattle area. When we got there Stephanie gave me the painting. 

I had no idea she was painting it, complete surprise. And I was blown away at how gorgeous it is. I've mentioned before that part of what amazes me with her art is that she's color blind. She's made a few pieces for me, and a lot of other pieces I've seen in her exhibits, and her color work is amazing. She does it all based on math. Don't ask me how, neither math nor colors are my area, but she does it and it works and it's amazing. 

The painting.

Not quite the photo.

That is the picture that I took with my camera. The version I took with my phone was the one that she based the painting on. I had taken the shot with my phone then dug my camera out to get it as well. Because I really wanted that shot. It's amazing to think the phone version was better because it was 14 years ago and cameras on phones weren't spectacular just yet, but the phone picked up the details of the mountains that the camera didn't. 

She had no idea how important that photograph was to me. What it meant to me to take it and have it. She also didn't know that when Facebook was doing an update they deleted the album that photo was in. And my phone files had corrupted so I lost the copy on my phone. 

And then I had a painting of that photo.

Because the world went on. 

But not only did it go on it gave me something else. Not just the painting, but the reminder that when I took that photograph, when I consciously said, look for the beauty, and then posted it, that beauty then inspired someone else. She saw the beauty in that photograph and created a piece of art out of it. She took that raw pain and shaped it into a wonderful gift. Never even realizing exactly what she was doing, except being inspired by a spot of beauty in a photograph. 

Because life goes on. The day begins again. If you are lucky you will find some beauty. And if you are luckier still you will also spread that beauty to others. 

Enjoy the sunrises and sunsets and the beauty around you. Even when you are deep in the suck.

A Little Brag...A Little Confession...

Let's start with the brag part. One of my goals (even when I wasn't calling them goals, just things I wanted to do) was to run a 5K this year. Like run the whole distance of a 5K. I've done out in the wild 5Ks before, fun run/walk type things, but I wanted to run for 3.1 miles straight. 

Today I did. 

Woo!

I'm really proud of myself. Came in 5 months ahead of the deadline. I'm not fast, I did it all at between 4.6 and 5.0 mph, it took me 43 minutes to go 3.24 miles (a little cool down and a little warm-up tacked on there, very little) and I was pretty sure I was going to die the last half mile or so. 

My next goal will be to do it without feeling that way. 

And then to get just a little faster. 

I'll never be a speed demon, and I don't really want to be, but to be able to do it a little faster would be nice. 

That's my brag. My set your mind to it and you can reach your silly little goals. 

And I did it today, not just because I thought I was pretty close to being able to, but because I have not exactly excelled on the social media break this year. 

I've sort of taken a break. 

And here are my excuses:

Threads is tied to Instagram. Like when I post on Instagram, which is what I do during these little breathers, the Threads of people I follow are highlighted. And I thought, well, I just was taking a break from Facebook right? So I'll use Insta and Threads. That's fine. And then the world has just gone to shit over and over and over this month. Like so much has happened in just one month. And I realized that I use social media to feel like I'm not losing my mind. To see that there are other people out there that are seeing what I am seeing. 

Which, of course, is the positive and the negative about social media, right? That it's easy to make your own bubble of people who think just like you and block out everyone else. And that can lead to a lot of circular damage when the wrong people find each other. Some pockets of the internet are just large groups of the worst people who don't realize they are the worst because everyone around them is saying the same things. 

And we all sort of do it. We cultivate our friend lists and our follows and our media to make sure that all of it is what we want it to be. And I'm not saying that's the wrong thing to do. I'm really not. I think that a lot of that is super healthy. I don't abide by rudeness in my life face to face, I'm not going to abide by it online. Threads is a block and hide automatically with a lot of comments that I see. Especially as the trolls and the bots have found their way there and are "just asking" a lot of questions. 

So...while the world was just going absolutely batshit the other really handy thing that Meta has done now is if I'm in Insta they show me how many comments I have waiting on Facebook. I cannot not check them without feeling like there is an itch in the deepest part of my brain that needs scratched. So I would check. And then check in on my feed, just the highlights of what people are doing. I mean, I miss all of you. And what if something important happens like Skippy gets another horse or something? I can't miss that! 

So I've done a lot of reading but no commenting. And I've limited my time down pretty hard. Check on some friends, peek at Cynthia's latest series of drawings, check to see if Kate is posting PoD still, mostly quick scroll until I see a picture, which is basically just like using Instagram right?? 

Like I said, those are my excuses. 

And the last one. Social media both makes me crazy and quiets the crazy in my head. It's a double edged sword. And this month there has been so much going on that my head has been racing. I really felt the need to see how people were reacting, and also to see how people were living their normal lives. But I did refrain from commenting on anything. 

Which kept me from telling more than one person to go fuck themselves. 

So that's actually really good. 

But it also let me see when someone would ask me a question and I couldn't answer them without blowing my cover, and totally giving up on the whole break so I had to let those just sit, which is not great. It makes me feel so rude! But there is post telling people I'm away right now, and other people can always let them know, and I will go back and try to answer everyone, and...

This has not been the month to try and take a break. 

In a way it seems like the perfect month to do it. So much craziness has happened and people have, at times, lost their damn minds. But it only would have been a good break if I had just shut it all down and not looked at anything at all. Like not just no social media at all, but no media period. Like completely unaware of the news. Which would be a really hard thing to do and not something I'm really interested at this point. 

I really want to know what everyone's thinking and how they are dealing and what the rest of world is seeing when they look at the US right now and...

So I absolutely nailed the 5K goal and there are areas for me to make that even stronger. 

I did not, am not, nailing the social media diet, but that's okay too. It's given me a little bit of space. It's prevented me from going ballistic on people for their incredibly stupid and selfish takes (yeah, I will have to avoid going back and finding those posts, apparently). It's let me look without thinking everyone needs my opinion. So maybe what I've really done is given everyone else a break. Which is really goddamn wonderful of me, when you come down to it.

I'm a giver.

It's what I do.

Eight more days of Social Media lurking. We both know I'm not going to stop looking now that I've already started. I'll just keep not commenting on Facebook for awhile and keep that peaceful and calm. 

It's okay not to reach your goals. It happens. You get to choose how you feel about it. Was it a bad goal for you? Or a bad goal for you right then? Or just unrealistic? Or maybe even it was a goal that you didn't realize wasn't a great idea for you. 

I do need to take breaks from social media. I do need to watch my consumption of it. I do need to figure out balance. But I need the world to calm the fuck down a little to help me out. 

I have a feeling that's not going to happen for a few more months. 

So I think the best I can offer myself right now is wait before you comment. 

Even when people need to be told to fuck right off with that bullshit...

LFG...

I will always believe that Joe Biden was done dirty by his party. I just want to put it out there at the top. I won't change my mind on that. 

My dream ticket from the 2020 primaries (for those of you that don't commit everything I say to memory, first off how dare you...) was Warren/Harris. I felt lucky that I got half of it. 

My point all along with voting in Biden without worry has been that Harris is on the ticket. I am extremely comfortable with a Harris presidency. 

So of course, all things considered, I'm glad that it looks like that is who the candidate will be. 

I posted a link to an opinion piece on my Insta account and I'm going to put it here too. He brings up some interesting things to think about. And things that actually make sense in the context of who Biden is. 

Biden is going to go down in history (assuming that Harris is elected and we still get to have history books) as one of the most important presidents we've ever had. Not only in defeating Trump and pulling us out of that tailspin, but in what he's been able to accomplish in 3 1/2 years without a super majority. He's a deal maker. He was a deal maker when he served in the senate, he was a deal maker when he served as Obama's vice president and he's been a deal maker as president. He's also a very good man. And those things together have led to the most progressive list of accomplishments ever. Ever. 

So it makes sense that he would have been working behind the scenes to make sure that a Harris handover was assured before he stepped down. It makes me wonder if that slow drip of people calling for him to step down happened after he hung up the phone with them with their assurance that they would support her. It looks shady as hell and makes my jaw clench, but maybe it was actually a good plan in action?

When Katie and I talked yesterday the news had just broken and I was in the "obviously I'm going to vote for Kamala but fuck those fuckers for how they've treated Joe" space. And also feeling a little less than optimistic about the next steps. While I was on the phone with her the dominos started to fall as endorsement after endorsement started coming in and it started to seem like maybe I could breathe again. Maybe. I still don't know what is going to happen in November, as Katie put it this is going for it on 4 down and 3. If you make it, you are a genius. If you don't it was obviously not the right call and you're an idiot. 

So was this a genius move or not? 

And we will never know how it would have played out the other way. 

Of course I hope that the momentum I'm seeing right now is true and solid and it carries us through to a sweeping giant blue wave up and down the ballot. 

And to the New York Times and the Washington Post who are calling for a brokered convention and a free for all from the stage, just shut up. And to those of you who haven't notice their rightward lurch in the past few years, please pay attention to it now. 

The nasty attacks on Harris are just starting. It's just going to get uglier and uglier over the next few months. Be prepared. Make sure you're registered. And vote.