It's a weighty rant...

It's another one on weight issues so you can skip it if you want. God knows we are all tired of me bitching about weight.

Still here? Okay, let's get started then.

As I have been planning out my summer schedule one of the things was to figure out what workouts I could do without aggravating my foot and potentially bringing that surgery closer instead of farther away. So as I thought about it and what I really wanted to accomplish I thought about my 6 Month Fit Challenge from last year. You remember that one right? The one where I discovered that in my mid 40s I can't push myself like I did in my 20s and not pay a price? And the one that abruptly ended when I bashed my toe. So anyway, I have the book from where I was tracking results and I thought I would take a peek and see how far backwards I've fallen. And I was shocked and surprised to see that I haven't. I've lost another 5 pounds since I had to end the challenge. My push-ups are still in the excellent range, though since I can't be on my toe in full plank my dream of doing full on push-ups is pretty much over.

So I was pretty pleased. Until I looked at the BMI chart. According to my BMI I am still overweight. I am 11 1/2 pounds lighter than I was last August when I thought I would try and lose around 10 pounds. I wear a size small in tops. A size 8 in jeans, and honestly I bet depending on the cut I could wear a 6 there. I am right on the happy edge for me where I fit all of my clothes, still have a figure and am not being told by people that I am too thin. See Skinny Bitch would like to be about 100 pounds. Genetics, love of food and general laziness mean I could hit 200 easily. I try and split the difference and hang between 140 and 150.  Eek! Have I ever actually told you my numbers before? Scary...but that's kind of the point for this blog so there they are. As of right now I weigh 145. Which for my 5'5" frame is overweight. According to the fitness book I am tracking in. According to this website it's just in to the normal range.

And this is where my problem is. If the books we look at, the information we are trying to make decisions from can't agree then what are we supposed to do? It's one thing to deal with growing up having not seen 100 pounds since elementary school to constantly be bombarded with images from magazines of women that always seem to have 125 listed at the "ideal weight" no matter what their body shape or height. You learn to adjust and accept (some of us just take longer than others) and you turn to other ways to measure. Like...do my clothes fit?

And here is where it makes me crazy. I posted a picture yesterday on my feed. I'm in a small top, a small cardigan, size 8 jeans. You can see my clavicles because of the angle I am holding the camera. I don't look heavy in that shot by any stretch, but I am also not small. I'm not a small person. Just not built that way. But everything I am wearing is "small" but it's not. Not really. Those size smalls would have been mediums when I was growing up. The size 8 jeans? At least a 10 but quite possibly a 12. Vanity sizing. It's nuts.

I was first aware of it when I was in my late teens and early 20s. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, tried her best to upscale my wardrobe choices a bit. Wife beaters, shaker sweaters and torn jeans just weren't her idea of flattering. So she took me shopping. And Dillard's carried Liz Claiborne. Which at the time was a more upscale brand than it is now. So she grabbed an outfit off the rack for me to try on in the size that I knew I was and it was HUGE on me. So we went down a size. Then down another. How could this be? How could I be two sizes smaller than I knew I was? I wasn't. But Liz had figured out that if a size 10 woman had a choice between buying a size 6 dress or a size 10 dress they were going to choose the size 6.

I also saw this when I worked in retail. Women would latch on to a size and not let go. "This brand runs small, I would suggest trying on at least two sizes larger than you think you need, right now I'm wearing a 14."  (I wasn't I was wearing a 10 but if the woman I was looking at was going to try and force her way in to an 8 because she had ALWAYS been an 8 then I was going to end up with ruined clothes and no sale) So brands saw this, and changed.

I have known for years that women's clothing did it. When I dropped weight after getting to my biggest I still had jeans in the closest from before I had C. I couldn't wait to put them back on. So as I hit that size in my new jeans I dug them out and...couldn't pull them up! I remember laying my old jeans on top of my new ones (same brand, supposedly the same size) and making Brent look at them. There was no way they were the same size. The waist was probably an inch to two inches smaller. The legs were cut completely different. And these weren't "relaxed fit" versus "skinny jeans" these were just jeans.

So you start to realize that size doesn't mean anything and you have to try things on and not get hooked on what the size is on the label. Which is good because I have everything from a 4 to a 10 in my closet. A friend of mine posted yesterday that just recently she went shopping and bought a range of 5 different sizes! In one shopping trip! In ONE store! So you shift to; How do you feel? Are you healthy? Is your BMI in a good range?

D'oh! There is that pesky BMI again! If I lose the weight to get in to the range the book says I should be in it's another 5 pounds and when I start knocking on 140 and less that's when people start worrying about my weight. Which is CRAZY to say because we all know that 140 is a pretty big girl. But see, I'm solid. Always have been. Good strong bones. Legs and butt are strong, which also happen to have big heavy muscles, I have boobs, I have hips, at least I cut my hair off so I'm not carrying that weight.... But still, I'm not a small girl, I'm a solid woman. Aren't men lucky to not have to deal with this?

Oh wait, they do too. When I posted my picture yesterday I heard the male voices of frustration as well. One friend is the same size he was in college (after working at getting fit again, Congrats!) and yet his pants size is a size smaller and his BMI rating is overweight. Though I would say he's thin if you asked me! Another was the same way, he has been working out, playing water polo, fit fit fit...and can't fit his old jeans even though they are the same size he is wearing now. What do people do who really are thin? One friend of mine shops in the young men's section for his jeans. He's not a super small guy, just super fit and thin. So a small adult size has been relegated to medium sized adults so a large adult can wear the medium and feel better. It's crazy.

So what do we do? Stop worrying about sizes. Take even BMI with a grain of salt. Be happy with your level of fitness. How are your blood test results? How is your over all general health? Are you comfortable in your own skin? For me I watch my weight because I'm vain. Well okay, I also watch my weight because I am genetically predisposed to obesity and heart disease and all of the other complications that come along with obesity. I know how easy it is for me to gain weight. And I know the health risks that go with it. I also know how easy it is for me to get obsessive about my weight, which is why the BMI thing yesterday triggered the crazy switch. So I watch that as well. Healthy weight for me means not too high, not too low. As my friend Tiffany said, if you feel good in your clothes (or out of them) then you're good!

But I'm still going to bitch about the sizing issue...what is someone who hates shopping supposed to do if you have to try every stinking thing on??

Me at 18, (wiping pie off my face) I weighed about 125 in this shot

Me yesterday. 145 wearing the "same" sizes as I was at 18

Crazy....

Month Two How Did I Do?

Okay, so yesterday was the end of the second month and I have to admit I was more than a little concerned about doing my measurements and tests. We all know that last month was a challenge (no pun intended) for me. I had a lot of injury time off, I realized that I had to cut back on the program to prevent even more injury time off and then all last week I was sick and didn't work out. All of that combined to me not really wanting to do the recap yesterday.

I debated pushing it by a week. Since I was off all of last week wouldn't it make sense to just pretend like it never happened and go from there? But it did happen so that felt like cheating. And yes, I know, it's my game and I get to make up the rules so technically there is no way to cheat, but it still felt a little cheap to do that so I took a deep breath and tested anyway just hoping that I didn't move backwards last month.

And...

Well, I didn't move backwards. I lost a little weight, 1.6 pounds, so yes, just a little. But that puts me down 6 pounds overall and since I was thinking 10 total that's not bad at all for 1/3 of the way through the challenge. I also lost 2 1/2 inches overall. So I'm still pulling what I've got in, which is excellent. Though Brent did make fun of me for how I measure my biceps. Difference between men and women, I measure relaxed before the fitness tests, he would do the push ups first and measure it flexed if it was him. I am looking for smaller arms with more definition he is looking for larger. It was a funny moment.

And fitness tests, well lets cover all of that...
Seated reach is still in the "poor" range but I've increased another 1 1/2" so I am pleased with that. By the end of the six months if I can hit "average" I will be well pleased.

Resting Heart Rate is down to 60 BPM which is "excellent" for a woman my age.

My sit-ups in a minute went up by 4, I'm still in "good" but knocking on "excellent's" door. Hopefully next month.

I can still do squats for days and am well in to the "excellent" range for those. Which is nice because that's actually where I lost the inches this month. Hips and thighs, so they are shrinking without losing strength. Very important.

And the best for last! Push-ups went up by 8 pushing me into the "excellent" range. Now what this means is that this morning I did a second fitness test for myself in a full plank position instead of the girly version the fitness tests had me performing, so from here on out I will be testing myself from that baseline and we will see if I can get back up to "excellent" but in a full plank by the end.

Not going to lie, this morning's workout was tough. A week off with a cold made a difference I could feel today. But I made it all the way through, including those blasted weighted surrenders. I imagine by next Monday I won't even be able to notice the time off.

As you might have noticed I've dropped the weekly check ins now that I am a few months in to the challenge. I will still be checking in here and there as I feel like I have something to share progress or challenge-wise and of course I will be back here in 5 weeks to let you all know how I did (remember the program has a month at 5 weeks) . Starting the holiday season so it could get tricky from here.....

Month 3 plan:
I have a new Yoga DVD that has a different workout for every day. It should be interesting. So 25 minutes of yoga 5 days a week.
I am sticking with the Jillian DVDs. Not feeling that those are easy just yet... MWF for toning.
I bought a series of cardio DVDs to try out since I have been doing the same Zumba cardio for two months. There are 4 different work outs so those will fill in on Tuesday and Thursday.
Saturday is still an optional day. And it will be what ever I feel like doing if I chose to workout.

One third of the way through. Modified like crazy but still going. I am calling it a win.

Week 8. Weak 8?

Welcome the the recap of Week 8, also known as the week where I finally waved the white flag.

As you all know at the beginning of the week I was powering through, hitting the wall and busting out the other side. Well that lasted one more day. What I finally had to admit last week is that I am sore. Not the good sore, the look at how these muscles are growing sore, but the my knees sound like cellophane paper when I walk up stairs and the ice and Advil aren't keeping on top of the step, ouch, step, ouch cycle. And the my back feels like it is one slight twist away from being out.  All the time. After adjusting my shoes, my workout surface, adding in another day of rest and none of it making a difference I had to just own up to the fact that I cannot do that much exercise in one day without paying a really stiff penalty.  So I threw in the towel.

And it was fine. No big deal at all to accept that I set this challenge and I have pushed through the mental barriers and kept going only to be derailed by the fact that I physically just cannot do it. I was fine with it. Fine. Which is why when I told Brent on Thursday that I was stepping back to one work out cycle a day instead of two because I couldn't hack it I only cried a little. Just a few tears, so obviously it was no big deal right?

Okay, yeah, it was rough. But today when I worked out my left knee didn't scream at me during every lunge.
And after having Brent help me work a knot out of my low back yesterday today was the first day in I can't tell you how many weeks (though my guess would be about 7) where my back wasn't giving me fits. There is still this piece of my brain that says I might try and step it back up to two sets a day again after a few weeks down at one, but there is also another part that says, NO!

So what does this mean for the 6 month challenge? It's still going. Just modified. Instead of working full time I've gone to part time to keep the workout like it's a job analogy. Instead of two sets a day 5 days a week and one set on Saturday I will be doing one set a day 5 days a week with Saturday as an optional day. It means my results probably won't be as drastic. But it also means that I should be able to walk without looking like an old lady.

And yes, it still sucks a bit that I couldn't do it the way I had planned. But that's also part of a challenge right? Sometimes it's just knowing how far you can go and pushing beyond. And sometimes it's knowing how far you can go and realizing that, yep, that's how far. And I'm fine. Really. Fine.

And that ends week 7....

When I first started talking about doing this challenge a friend of mine told me that out of all of the stupid ideas and harebrained schemes I have had over the years this was probably one of the stupidest. See, I hate to work out. Always have. The only time I am consistent with it is when I am working out with C and he was on his way back to school when I started this challenge so that motivation would be gone. I view working out as something I have to do a few times a week to ensure that I can eat cake a few times a week as well. Not as something that I would ever do a few times a day just to see what muscles I could bring out. And this morning as I made excuse after excuse not to go downstairs and strap on the tennis shoes and pop in the DVDs his words came back to me. This is the stupidest idea I have ever had.

I wrote last week that I had finally broken the lose one week gain the next week cycle and just stayed flat last week. Well I stayed flat again this week as well. Hmmm...okay, I am not looking to lose weight, or at least much, so this is not a big deal. But weight loss is the easiest thing to track To see tangible results weekly. The other is slower going. Saturday night at dinner I was showing Brent my new barely there biceps muscles. For the first time he could start to see the definition in the muscle as well.  Seven weeks in and it's the first time he's really seeing any difference. And even then it's something that I had to point out to him. I'm still exhausted at the end of my workouts and pouring with sweat. It's hard, ya'll.

I'm 44 and my body complains about the work I am making it do. It likes that gentle workout, eat cake agreement we have come to over the years. The walks, the treadmill work, the light toning just to make sure my arms aren't still waving goodbye 5 minutes after you've left. It's comfortable. And comfort is good. Right? So what if I weigh a little more than I want to, it's a healthy weight for me and I look good, even if I say so myself. My blood work comes back fine every year, cholesterol is good, blood pressure is good. Why in the world should I care about the rest of it? Honestly? Why?

So then I put on my shoes, I went downstairs and I powered through all of my workouts back to back to back, knowing that the odds of finding my motivation twice today was someplace between slim and none. And two hours later when I finished, exhausted and pouring with sweat I gave myself the answer I gave him 8 weeks ago. Of course it will be super hard. The hard part is what makes it a challenge.

Week 6 recap...

Okay, it's a short one.

Workouts went well. I mentioned skipping Wednesday's workout in my ironing blog last week and I actually am planning on doing that again this week. The switch to the Jillian workouts from the Karen Voight daily series were a big step up.  Going from 30-40 minutes of light aerobic and then focused toning to 45 or 55 minutes of intense circuit training kicked my butt.  Today during my toning workout I was doing mat work and my workout towel was just out of reach, I went to use the edge of my shirt to wipe some of the sweat from my face and discovered there wasn't a dry spot on my shirt to use! So I will do myself a favor and skip Wednesday again this week and then pick it up next week after I have had these two weeks to adjust. Still doing Zumba and Yoga daily as well and won't switch those out until the end of this monthly cycle. But I think for this week two days off instead of one is a good idea again.

I finally broke the lose weight one week gain it the next cycle. Didn't gain any this week! Yay! I didn't really lose any either, but I didn't gain so that's good. Not that the lose, gain, lose, gain cycle wasn't amusing me, but it will be nice to not have to lose what I gained plus a little extra this week.

I'm still not overly worried about my food. Once I started tracking the calories sort of took care of themselves. Just needed to watch those portion sizes again and all was well. I'm never going to be happy giving up my goodies so I need to just make sure they are treats instead of  everyday things and watch the rest of what I am eating so that what I do eat is worth the cost to me. And to really enjoy what I do eat, which isn't really an issue for me, I love my food.

So what are my current goals? First off to make it through my Jillian workouts without cussing. Then to make it through them without doing any of the modifications. Then to make it through them with heavier weights. I am pretty sure that's going to take me through this cycle as well as next month's cycle.

The next set of goals is to keep on listening to my body. If it feels like I need to cut back a little then cut back, with no guilt. And then to keep going. Even if I need to take an extra day off for a couple weeks I am still working out a few hours a day for 5 days out of the week. That's a pretty significant increase from when I started and that's something I need to keep in mind and be proud of.

Okay, so that's the end of the first 6 weeks. Ta Da!

One month down 5 to go

This weekend marked the end of the first month of the 6 months of "what can I do?" fit program. So what did I do? I did a few things.

Weight was down 4.4 pounds. Not a lot but since it isn't the goal of this little endeavor that's okay. It dropped my BMI by a half a percent so that's good.

Overall I lost 4 3/4" off of me. That was pretty sweet. The toning and tightening is what I am really after so I will take the shrinkage.

I also added 4 sit-ups to the minute count and 3 inches to my stretch reach. Sit-ups are still in the average zone but barely. And the reach is still poor but I am pretty thrilled about an added 3 inches of flexibility. The best thing? I increased the number of push ups I can do by 50%. Moved from average to good in that little category as well. The end goal is to be doing full on plank push-ups instead of girly ones for the fitness test, but for the first month that's pretty fabulous in my book.

So what next? Well I'm changing up the routine. Don't want to get complacent. So I switched out Karen Voight for Jillian Michaels this month. Oh my goodness...I forgot how hard her stuff is. I have a feeling I will spend the first few weeks fairly miserable. I keep telling myself it's a good sore...we will see how long I can keep believing that. I have things on her first DVD (No More Trouble Zones) that I cannot do. Literally at all. Not modified, not adapted, not at all. But I remember at the beginning of last month saying how thrilled I would be when I could do the Karen Voight Yoga Strength workout all the way through and I made it to that goal (and was appropriately thrilled) so I am optimistic that I will make it to this one.  Worst case scenario I do these videos for two months instead of one. Tomorrow I do her 6 week Six Pack ab routine. I am pre-ouching...

So goals for the next 5 weeks (remember they count a month as five instead of four). Keep doing what I am doing and keep an eye out for over working myself. Yes, I need to remember to be realistic. I missed 4 work out days last month due to illness/injury and I would rather not miss more, but I need to make sure to take the time off if I need it. Brent and I were talking this weekend about the changes from when we were younger. Things you could suck up and work through in your 20s and even 30s just don't work through any more. They compound. Oh, you have a tweaky knee and you kept working? Here, have a wonky hip and a thrown back to go with it then....

I will remeasure and rephotograph (oh yes, there are pictures, I'm just not brave enough to show them) and re do the fitness tests then and let you all know how fabulous it went.

Week 4 wrap up....

Okay, here we go, Monday check in time.

Last week was a rough one, not going to lie. I woke up Tuesday morning with my back tweaked. Nothing like going to sleep fine and waking up hurt to make you feel old! So I powered through Tuesday's workouts with a few adjustments. Not better on Wednesday so I did it again. Made a few adjustments as things would hurt but kept up my pace. Then Thursday hit. As I was getting dressed Brent turns from the bathroom where he is getting ready for work with the look of concern over the noise he just heard...no big deal, it was just my hip sliding back into the socket. Yeah, the back issues were causing me to walk funny which made my already wonky hips wonkier so they joined the party on Thursday. And even then I was getting ready to go workout and stopped....my hip slid again and I took that as the sign from the universe that powering through when you are my age means hitting a wall instead of being able to just tough it out and move over the speed bump.  So I rested.

Then the cold hit. So I didn't work out Thursday or Friday or Saturday. And what I learned is that it really really bugged me on Thursday not to be working out. I was in a good rhythm with my new more intense program, I had figured out a way to make it work for me and still leave me time in the day to do all of the other things I wanted to do and I was feeling a little antsy without the energy spend of the workouts. Then the fever from the cold hit and I got over that feeling and decided that the couch was good place to be. Then Friday still being sick and sore it was easier to forgo the workout from the start. Didn't even plan on working out. Then Saturday...now Saturday I probably could have worked out again. I do a lighter routine on Saturdays and I was feeling mostly better but I thought, better safe than sorry so I didn't. Sunday is a day off anyway so that made four days in a row with no workout.

And let me tell you getting back to it today took a giant push of motivation. I bought new shoes over the weekend so that I wouldn't keep pounding my back and hips on concrete in bare-feet so hopefully that will take care of the back issue soon. It's still a little sore but the self care I'm doing is helping that right along. And with the extra cushion of the new shoes I am hopeful it won't recur. Because I don't want to take another 4 days off. I'm not sure if I have it in me to start again if I do. It's very hard to get into the flow of working out, at least for me, but I was there and I was actually enjoying it and it was getting to be a pretty solid part of my day, but it was super easy to fall out. And to be fine with falling out.

I gained half a pound last week, which was expected. No workouts, no energy, sick food and advil (makes me gain weight for some reason) all together I'm actually shocked it wasn't more. But still this morning there was that voice in my head that said...this is an awful lot of work for no real results just yet. If you are going to pop right back up with your weight every time you get sick or tale a few days off for whatever reason what is the point?

So what was the point? The point was to see what I can do in six months. And I'm four weeks in. I haven't lost a ton of weight, but that wasn't the point. The point was to get fit. To see what muscles I could make come back out to play. And really the point was just to do it. And part of doing it is working around the times when for whatever reason, I can't. So I strapped on my new shoes and did my workouts. And I will do this series for another week and then next week starts month two and a change up of routine to keep going, to keep working on seeing what I can do.

So what I learned this week is that I can keep going even when I don't feel like it. I can get back on the program when I have stopped. And I have learned that I really don't want to take four days off again so I need to wear my shoes.

I'll check in next week with the stats from the first month.  Should be interesting!

Week Three Check In...

I bet you all thought I forgot, hunh? Nope, just with it being the holiday and then wanting to capture that little fiction start earlier this got pushed to later in the day. But here I am! I know...you are all terribly relieved and very excited to hear how the past week sweating with the oldy went.

Okay, here are last week's goals!

1. Keep on keeping on! Two work outs a day M-F with the stepped up time on the Zumba portion. One on Saturday.

2. Track the food again. No major changes to the diet just yet. Minor tweaking (breakfast mainly)

3. Keep the skinny bitch in check.

4. Positive thoughts.

And how did I do?

Pretty darn good. I did the same work out schedule as week two and will stick with that for two more weeks before I switch it up again. I did figure out that though the original statement for working out twice a day I was thinking once in the morning and then once in the afternoon that really doesn't work for me. Chunking up the day like that makes it really difficult to get other things done and as I have a house to maintain and writing that needs to get done as well this had to be switched. So now I am getting my first workout done taking a break, eating some yogurt or almonds, something with a little protein boost, waiting about an hour and then doing my second workout. This is much better for the rest of my schedule. Now all of that being said some days that's not going to work. Take today for instance. It's a holiday so Brent and I slept in then went out for breakfast. By the time I got the first workout of the day done it was noon. Then I wrote and we ran errands. So the second workout didn't happen until he left to go do a fantasy draft tonight.
Which is fine. Flexibility! The next holiday snare I will hit will be Thanksgiving so that should be interesting.

Tracking food worked out well. I don't think I really need to make big diet changes. Just watching those portion levels again has kept me right on track where I think I should be calorie wise. If I find my weight not shifting the way I want it to I will take another look but for now I am happy.

How did the skinny bitch and I do? Well she was happy because I lost two pounds this week and I was happy because I shut her down on Wednesday when she discovered a new tool on my tracking program. See if I eat too few calories the program I have actually warns you in BOLD RED LETTERS that you have to eat more. But it does this while at the same time showing you how little you would weigh in 5 weeks if you kept up that pace. Now on Wednesday I accidentally hit the "finish the day" button after lunch so of course I was way under calorie recommendations. If I kept up at that pace in 5 weeks I would be about 18 pounds lighter than I am today. Now this pleased the skinny bitch who then started to make plans on how few calories could be consumed for the balance of the day. I patted her on the head, reminded her that 18 fewer pounds on my frame wasn't good, grabbed a handful of grapes and planned the dinner menu around having PLENTY of calories left. She still checks at random times during the day to see the BOLD RED LETTERS, but so far we have reached the compromise that she can indulge in the fantasy but fit at 44 and I will take care of the reality.

Positive thoughts? Yep. Right on track. And don't tell anyone but I am pretty sure I saw my triceps today....

Goals for next week? Exactly same as this week. I have two more weeks for the first month of the program and then I will make some changes to the exercise. Yes, I know that makes 5 weeks for a month instead of 4 but that's how the journal I am using lays it out so 5 week months it is!

Week Two Wrap Up...

Here we go, weekly check in time!

Last week's goals:
1. Add in that second workout. I have some tricky scheduling days ahead so it will be a challenge but I can do it.
2. Keep tracking my food to see how my diet really is.
3. Decide if I need to change the nutrition aspect starting next week.
4. Don't eat all of the chocolate when C leaving for school and PMS meet the middle of this week.
5. Positive thoughts! (this one will probably be repeated a lot!)

How did I do?

1. Got in all of the extra workouts. On the days where I had other appointments and the schedule was tight I just rearranged when I did the second. Instead of one in the morning and one in the afternoon it was two in the morning and on Friday it was back to back. Which was actually a nice "push" for the end of the week. And then just because I had the time on Saturday I actually added in an extra 20 minute workout that isn't on the "required" work schedule.

2. I tracked all week but because it was my birthday and C's last few days in town before he left it wasn't really a typical week so it's hard to say.

3. Because of #2 I think I will do one more week with just a few changes (no birthday) and see then how the diet needs to be adjusted. This is the piece that will be a moving target.

4. I didn't eat ALL the chocolate. Just some of it. But the PMS did affect me and it's good to make a note of it in my tracking pages.

5. Needed those thoughts.

Sunday is the "official weigh in day" and after keeping my weight steady all week and then down on Saturday it was up when I stepped on the scale Sunday. What? How can I be down a pound on Saturday and then on Sunday be up by half a pound? There is no way I gained a pound and a half over night! *stomp, stomp, stomp* Times like this it's good to have a spouse that understands you. There were a lot of very valid reasons that my weight would swing like that. The aforementioned PMS (ladies understand that weight stops making any sort of sense for 3-4 days a month as your body holds on to water, then releases it, then gathers it back up), we also ate dinner very late on Saturday night and it was a higher in salt meal. And since my weight had been steady then dropped it was most likely just a fluctuation and it would steady back out early in the week. As Brent recited all of these facts to me (which I had already recited to myself to keep from throwing the scale out the window) and then also acknowledged that though I knew all of this it wasn't going to make me feel much better, I actually had to smile.

I know all of that. I know it's all true. I also know that it didn't matter. Sunday is the day I write the number on the chart and it looks like I didn't do the work last week because the number went up. And I did do the work. So I took my positive thoughts from #5 up there and I reviewed my journals. I read the daily notes I made about what I did. I looked at the calories I burned by working out. I acknowledged that the skinny bitch inside me was panicking, as she does, because the numbers didn't go down like they are "supposed" to. And then I let it go.

Because, after all, that's not the point this time. The point is to see how strong I can get. How much muscle definition I can bring back. How much more fit I can be. I'm not here to please the skinny bitch who wants to weigh an impossible to maintain amount. I'm here to find out where the fit fabulous 44 year old can take her body. So we move on.

This week's goals!

1. Keep on keeping on! Two work outs a day M-F with the stepped up time on the Zumba portion. One on Saturday.

2. Track the food again. No major changes to the diet just yet. Minor tweaking (breakfast mainly)

3. Keep the skinny bitch in check.

4. Positive thoughts.

See you next week!

Week One Wrap Up...

Week two day one starts today! So first things first, let's look at last week's goals and see how I did.

1. Do the daily workout. No excuses.
2. Keep an eye on my shoulder. The rehab was great for internal and external rotation but there was a little muscle tweakiness on the circumduction movements. This might need some trigger point therapy, either self or from someone else.
3. Start thinking about what work outs I want to do next week.
4. Start thinking about the food part.
5. Positive thoughts!

How did I do? Well....

1. Worked out every day M-F and got in the one weekend workout. Saturday was going to be a chopped up schedule day and I had been trying to figure out when to fit in the workout. I couldn't sleep Saturday morning and instead of lying in bed just waiting for everyone else to get up I went ahead and got up and worked out. Bingo! Done before the weekend even started so I feel as though I got two days of recuperation.

2. The shoulder is doing pretty well. It warms up nicely while working out but every once in awhile I am still getting a pull where the muscle wants to hold. I will keep working on it and keep an eye out to make sure I don't re-injure but for right now I feel like it's just going to keep improving.

3. I added Zumba this week. Figured that a straight up cardio would be a good add while I am in my "warm up" phase. I dabbled in Zumba last Fall but didn't get very far. So this time I am actually starting with their instructional series and working my way in to the routine instead of getting cocky and just jumping in with both left feet. Imagine that....

4. So the food part...that was interesting. I figured I would take these two weeks to try out different tracking programs and see where I need to improve. Since I am not planning on going back on WW I needed something that would track caloric breakdowns and let me figure out nutrition that way. I started with myfitnesspal.com since I have noticed a LOT of my friends using it. I think I will be sticking with this one. Nice database for food and I can track my workouts as well and it does a nice trick where it adds those calories burned back in to your daily allowance so it should help me in keeping up with eating enough. Now all that being said I wasn't going to start worrying about food for a few weeks, and I'm not, but just the act of tracking changes your behavior. WW has emphasized this for years with people. If you write down what you eat you become very aware of what you eat and you make different choices. By next week I might decide I really don't need to change much about my diet but just keep an eye on my portion sizes.

5. Positive thoughts!  So far so good on that front!

So accomplishments last week:
1. I met all my goals.
2. I ended up losing 2 pounds.
3. I kept going this week.

What are my goals for the next week?

1. Add in that second workout. I have some tricky scheduling days ahead so it will be a challenge but I can do it.
2. Keep tracking my food to see how my diet really is.
3. Decide if I need to change the nutrition aspect starting next week.
4. Don't eat all of the chocolate when C leaving for school and PMS meet the middle of this week. :-(
5. Positive thoughts! (this one will probably be repeated a lot!)

There we go! Week Two started with a bang. One work out down, one to go for today. Yay! Piece of cake...oh yum....cake....

Well that was quick...

...sort of.

So I know I just wrote about this on Saturday and that I was mulling at the time, but I had been mulling silently for a few weeks and then said it out loud to Brent in the middle of the week last week and then to you all on Saturday and then I found a journal like what I talked about needing that was for, yep, 6 months and a few motivating words from friends and decided...why the heck not?

So I am going to set out on my latest challenge. Treat my workouts like a job. So what this means for you is that you can skip every Monday blog if you have no urge to hear about my goals for the week and my reflection on the past week. Starting now. Go ahead, back out now, I will pretend you weren't even here.

Okay, Week One Day One! Here we go. Setting up the ground rules first off and then moving forward.

For the next six months I will be treating getting in shape like it's part of my job. I have the time and right now I have the motivation so let's see where this takes me. So where did I start?

I bought a workout journal so I can actually track my progress. It had a spot for starting stats which I did yesterday. I am a mish mash of fitness. My resting heart rate is good. My push-ups are average. My sit-ups are average. My squats are excellent and my flexibility is poor. These things were not really surprises. I've been doing cardio with C all summer so heart rate is good. They let me do the lady push-ups so in those I am pretty average. My goal is to get to good/excellent in numbers with the full on push-up. Sit-ups were a little lower than I normally am, but it was a timed test and I probably just didn't crank as hard as I should have. The squats I finally stopped doing since you were supposed to do them to fatigue and I was already in the excellent range and could have kept going. I have very strong legs. And as far as flexibility goes I have never been able to touch my toes. Not when I was a kid and definitely not now.

I also took measurements and before pictures. There is a space once a month to update these so I will have a continuing motivational boost built in. There is also a space for weekly recaps which is where I will be using this instead of the book. See, it's all pre-done questions and I tend to find those things to be less than helpful. You can answer everything put in front of you and still not see where you need work, or focus, or less focus because though your answers were great, you were asking the wrong questions. In this format I am free to ponder and write and then look and see what issues are recurring, what problems I am facing.

As far as weight goes I want to lose 10 pounds and rearrange 5 more. My challenge is that the skinny bitch who lives in my head is screaming at me to lose 25, even though I know I don't like the way I look at that weight, it's one of her favorite numbers to work towards. So part of my 6 month job is to keep in mind that I am working towards being the best and most fit me I can get to in that amount of time all while telling the skinny bitch to hush and eat something already.

And as this is a job I am treating it like I would any job. I have a ramp up period. This first week will be working out every day. Next week will be working out twice a day. The third week I will add in the nutrition aspect. Then from there on out I will be tweaking what works and what doesn't and pushing the workouts forward towards more and more challenge. For those of you keeping track at home you just saw what I did there, yes, I put off the food part until after my birthday and after C leaves for school. I'm no amateur...

As far as schedules go, the everyday thing is the work week. Monday-Friday is once a day for this week then twice a day starting next week. The weekends will be a recuperation time. One workout for the weekend. Either Saturday or Sunday depending on what we are doing that weekend with one day completely off to rest. It will be a mix of cardio and weights and yoga. Let's see how close I can get to my toes by the end of this thing.

What do I want to accomplish? I don't know. I don't really have a vision of what I look like at the end of six months. That's kind of the point. I would love to get some muscle definition back in my legs. Find my six pack again, though honestly it's always been a four pack, my lower abs don't pop like that. Keep up the progress on my arms. I'd like to be that girl that you go..."Whoah, check out her guns" when you see me reach for something. Can I do all of that in six months? Don't know. Will I want to stick with it? Hmmm...we will see. That's the other part of it being like a job right? If I truly hate it I can always change careers. It's not like I am lacking in experience in that area.

But as Brent and I always say, I can do anything for 6 months. Thank you US Navy.

So today was the start. First set of challenges, the new DVD player in the basement won't work. I will have to go down and work on it after I post this blog. I bought it at the beginning of the summer and then C and I got a Groupon to a local gym and used that and some printed weighted workouts instead. So this morning when I went to do my workout....nothing. I fussed with it for about 15 minutes getting more and more frustrated before giving up and coming upstairs to use the machine in the living room...which wouldn't work either. Now, this is the point where I give up or at least push it a day but instead I thought, well I guess I will put on my shoes and go for a long walk. Not the workout I was thinking of but it will work. One last try with a new set of batteries though and we were off and running with the DVD.

So challenges for this week:
1. Do the daily workout. No excuses.
2. Keep an eye on my shoulder. The rehab was great for internal and external rotation but there was a little muscle tweakiness on the circumduction movements. This might need some trigger point therapy, either self or from someone else.
3. Start thinking about what work outs I want to do next week.
4. Start thinking about the food part.
5. Positive thoughts!

Happy Monday, everyone! Six months starts...now!