What Are You Looking For?

"Have you swiped left on every single profile?"

"I have. I just can't find the center of the roll."

"The what now?"

"You know, the middle of the cinnamon roll, the best part. I want the center of the roll and all of these are giving off edge to me."

"Okay, explain it."

"You know how the center of the roll is the best? It's the soft, chewy, sweet, spot. You deal with the edges if you have to, but really it would be great to just cut them off and only get the center. Relationships are like that too. The edges are the part you have to get through to get to the center. But some people are only edge people. And their profiles show it."

"Who would be an edge person? The center is the best part. The edge is just the price you pay to get to the center."

"Exactly. But see in relationships there are people who only like the new phase. The part where you are both just so in love you can't stand it, or more correctly other people can't stand it. The schmoopy part. The flowers and candy part. The oh no you hang up first part. I hate that part. I just want the part where we are comfortable sitting together in silence and nobody worries that the other one is mad because they are reading a book and not talking. The part where if I'm running late for dinner and we are meeting at a restaurant we've never even been to before you would still feel totally comfortable ordering for me and it would be exactly what I would have ordered for myself anyway. That part."

"The actual settled down relationship part?"

"Exactly."

"But you can't just jump right into that part. You have to build to that part."

"I get that. I do. And I would totally do that if it weren't for the number of people who don't hang around for that part. As soon as the new part wears off and the hormones settle down to a dull roar they are gone looking for that new edge piece."

"But maybe they won't?"

"Maybe. But I'd love to find a way to just jump right to that part. Like a platter of nothing but the center pieces of cinnamon rolls. No edges allowed. No overly romantic schmoopaholics welcome. Only the serious relationships are the best part people need apply. Then I'd swipe right."

"Alright, no edges. I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever setting you up with someone. No edges ever."

"Unless it's a brownie, then the edges are the best part."

"Obviously."

"Obviously."