Here We Go Again...

I've already sent a message to my doctor, so no need to nag me. 

I've started to bleed again. July 1 for about a week. Really light but clearly a period trying to get a foothold. And then today it was back. Super light. Just a pink wash on the toilet paper but clearly something is happening. 

When it first happened I told Brent that I knew it was a side effect of the HRT so I guess it's here. Now I just have to decide which is more annoying, the hot flashes or having a period again. 

His vote was for hot flashes. Mine might be too. But only because I haven't had them in so long I've sort of tucked that misery back very far in my head. Not completely though. I can remember how exhausted I was because I couldn't get any sleep from the heat. 

But bleeding is annoying. Like constantly annoying. I was so excited to not bleed. I'm back to wishing they would just take my uterus out so I never have to worry about it again. I don't need it. I've not needed it for decades. Now it's just a source of worry each time it coughs and tries to get the factory started again. 

And when I looked up the side effects to see why it would happen twice in a month, like is it supposed to be only like a period or is it break through anytime bleeding, that's when I saw that it was only supposed to be a possibility during the first 6 months of HRT, not 10 months later. 

Well fuck. 

So we will see if I have to go through that whole battery of tests again. I have a different doctor I'm seeing, and it could still be a reaction to the HRT but...

I really hope not. I mean that shit hurt. 

And of course it brings me back to the low level disgust of how little we know about women's health in general. We don't study things that only affect women. It's just not a priority. The only reason I even considered HRT in the first place was friends overseas who did it and had great results. The levels and benefits I learned more about from Katie who has picked it up through trans messages boards. I mean it should be part of any gynecologist's study, shouldn't it? Should it be a full term of learning at least? 

Menopause health care in general, with HRT study as part of that. Like I'm going to be menopausal for longer than I was not (hopefully). Why am I the one having to seek out information of what to expect and how to treat the symptoms instead of it just being a "what to expect when you're never expecting again" moment?

The good (?) news is if I do have to have the full battery of tests again they will at least be mostly free to me. We hit our big deductible early this year with Brent's trip to the ER. From here through December we are free medical, baby! Which, of course, means that I won't have to have the full battery this time and it will be a quick e-med visit situation. 

Hopefully.

But still, ugh. It's just all so annoying. I'll be 55 next month. I would like to be on the coasting through life part of my medical journey. No more periods. No more perimenopause symptoms. No more mood swings and hot flashes. Just done with that shit. 

I'll let you all know what I find out.