I'm not much of a joiner. I just never have been. It's never appealed to me. The times I've tried it, joining a club or an organization, I remember pretty quickly that I don't care for it.
I think maybe it goes back to moving during elementary school. We moved halfway through my third grade year. Being the new kid is always tough. Being the new kid halfway through a year is worse. And I dropped in halfway through the year that marks the halfway point of elementary school. And then I left a year later. When I came back to the district for high school I was shocked at how everyone was in different friend groups. Because I missed those years. The middle school years where the other elementary schools join up and the hormones kick in and the self selecting into smaller groups hits.
What was just whatever grade class you were in you all hung out together becomes the preps and the jocks and the freaks and the geeks and the and the and the...I missed all of that so I had no natural group to go to when I started at Highland. I just floated around between all of them since the people who I still considered my friends were in all of them.
So I missed my window for group joining I think. And I also find people to be exhausting. Introvert here. People in groups is too much energy coming my way. It wears me out. When I was working and I had to go on marketing trips I'd be "on" for three or four days in a row. Flying out with clients, hanging around events with clients, going out with other agencies and all of our clients, sitting in meetings with clients and agents and corporate, then flying back home with clients. By the time I'd get back I'd just want to sit on my couch and stare at a wall in silence. It was too much.
So those things together make me not much of a group person.
BUT...I'm also perpetually curious. I want to know everything. I want to know everybody's stories. I want to know what you think, and what she thinks, and what they think, and why? More information is always best for me. Just because I'm not part of your group doesn't mean I don't want to know about your group.
I hate vague posting on social media.
Any message that gets the "Oh hun what's wrong" followed by "PM me." makes my jaw clench and my eyes roll. Don't fucking put it out there if you aren't going to share with the class.
It's like "You had to be there" which used to be "I guess you had to be there" the semi apologetic response to when you tell a story about something HILARIOUS or INTERESTING that happened and the person just doesn't get it. They weren't there and something is lost in the retelling. "Oh well I guess you had to be there." But then it became, cryptic post, comment, response "you had to be there." Well I wasn't so tell me. Fill in the details.
It's frustrating for a story person. I need the story.
And now we have IYKYK. Oh.my.god. Save me from IYKYK. If you know, you know. Now, again, there are two different ways this gets used. One of them is funny. It presents the information, a picture of a lego with the caption "What's the worst pain you've ever felt?" then IYKYK. Meaning, stepping on a brick in your bare feet. Ouch! And if you don't know then someone will explain it to you. It's a joke tagline. Then there is the other way it's used, the one that makes my face do that my face thing. A random word or phrase is posted then IYKYK. And people react with laughter or anger or another cryptic word.
Well...I don't know. So tell me. But that gets the "You had to be there" type response and I'm like delete, unfriend, block.
Because it makes me feel like I'm back in High School with the cliques and the groups and there was always someone who didn't like that you floated who made sure to mention some event that you weren't at. Or being online looking at a Star Wars page and being subjected to a geek test, and no I haven't seen clone wars or ever picked up a paperback Stars Wars book. Or not having encyclopedic knowledge about a sports team you like, and heaven forend you just started watching them play a few years ago. It's all very gatekeepery. You can't sit with us. You are a fake fan. Poser.
Oh fuck off.
Tell me the story. Share the joke. Fill in the details. Or just shut the fuck up about it.
So...yesterday I found a random word generator and started posting literal random words* with IYKYK.
And, of course, nobody knew.
I was going to do it all weekend but gave up when people started reaching out in DMs and in the comments to see what was going on. The first message I got I felt a little badly about because they thought something shitty had happened to me. The others were just like, what the heck? And I couldn't keep it up. I can be an asshole (see doing it in the first place) but I'm not that kind of asshole.f So I shared the website and told them all now they knew.
I absolutely might not get the joke. I might not understand the reference. I might be totally lost in the details, but if I ask you, I still want to know. If I don't know I want to know.
*IYKYK
Bulldozing
Expenditure
Volcano
Ancestor
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