That's Tight...

Okay, I swear this isn't an advertisement. 

For those of you that follow me on Facebook or Instagram or talk to me in the offline world you know I love Snag tights. When I was working in advertising I wore skirts and tights all winter and skirts and fishnets all summer. So I know from uncomfortable tights. But Snags are super comfy. Soft and stretchy and they don't tend to roll down like other brands. And they come in multiple thicknesses and colors and patterns. 

I post about them a lot. 

They also have a couple of groups for people who buy their tights to post outfits they've put together and I love those groups. Everyone in them is just lovely to each other. Really supportive and amazing. It's almost like it's not even on the internet. 

This morning a woman who posts semi-regularly posted a shot of what she wore last night on stage. She had some pictures of her outfit, then of her dressed up and one of her sitting on stage. In the outfit shot she included her book bag she was taking on stage with her because she loved how it matched the pattern in her skirt. So I thought, wait...and googled her name. She's a published author. Like multiple books. She also makes a living writing book reviews for The Guardian and The New York Times (among other publications). Wow... 

Now it's not actually all that shocking to see a performer posting in either of the groups. There are a lot of singers and stage actors and quite a few Drag Queens. But the thing that kind of shocked me is that when this woman started posting she was incredibly self conscious. She still does the semi-apology half the time. "Liked this color combination forgive the hairstyle" She is doing something, that to me, seems beyond brave and she's still self conscious about how the world sees her. 

There is nothing harder (again for me) than to unleash your words on the world. Fiction for me is harder than nonfiction, but it's all difficult. If I bake something and it doesn't turn out well I can blame the recipe or the ingredients or even the oven. If I sing a song and it doesn't sound perfect I can blame the music, or the acoustics. But when I write? That's all me. Every word on the page is there because I put it there. When I write nonfiction it's because something moved me to the point where I had to share it. When I write fiction I have created an entire slice of a world and put it out there. 

It's hard to press publish. Or send in the work to a contest. Or to an editor. Or to an open call at a publisher. It's hard to put that out in the world. It's part of why I stopped submitting. When I write these blogs and publish them I know that a small handful of people are going to read them. I also know that that small handful is here by choice. They understand me more than the world in general does. I also know that even with that, some of what I write is met with an "I don't get it" or worse, silence. 

But this woman has written multiple books. She was on a stage in a theater last night talking about her work. She writes for major news publications where other people seek out her opinion and trust what she tells them. She is the pinnacle of bravery for me and yet...she still worries about how the world sees her in her brightly colored tights and skirts. 

Aint that something?

Brent talks about how I am the oddest blend of supremely confident and insecure. Sometimes about the exact same thing in the space of a single sentence. And it's true. I can absolutely come across that way. But the real truth is I'm not all that confident about anything, well, except for the things I'm completely secure in. So yeah...

I just thought it was a great moment to remember that you don't know what other people are feeling or going through. Like I am sure the audience last night that paid to hear this woman talk about her latest book saw her on stage with a cute skirt, and fun tights with hearts on them and her book bag that matched everything had no idea that she felt a little insecure about how she looked. I bet that at least one person who saw her up there thought about how much they liked her fun style and wished they had the guts to do it too. 

And if she can fake it, so can you. Get the fun tights. Or the cute skirt. Or the sweater that fits like a cloud is hugging you. Wear what makes you happy. Wear what makes you feel good. And then wear that shit out into the world. Project that level of self love all damn day. 

And, even though this wasn't an advertisement, Snag tights, seriously the best fitting tights and fishnets I've ever worn.