The Worst Timeline...

"Ugh. We are living in the worst timeline."

"Why does everyone say that? I mean there are so many worse timelines. What about the timeline where the South won the Civil War? In that one slavery became the default in the entire United States and spread to Canada and Mexico."

"What?"

"Or how about the one where Ronald Reagan's Alzheimer's wasn't discovered by his inner circle until after he had launched a nuclear war? By now there are parts of the world that are recovering a little bit from the fallout but there are other parts that are still completely desolate and destroyed. Not even Mother Nature could recover from the destruction."

"Okay, wait, what? Reagan had Alzheimer's disease while he was in the White House in your imagined worse timeline?"

"No. I mean yes. Reagan had Alzheimer while in the White House in all of the timelines. Or at least all of them where he was elected president and the assassination attempt failed. Obviously in the ones where he was never elected it wasn't an issue. And the ones where Hinkley killed him it didn't matter, he wasn't president long enough to know."

"Okay, this seems like you've thought about it a lot."

"And I mean, those are just recent examples. There are plenty of timelines where we wouldn't be living at all. The primordial ooze didn't ooze, it just kind of solidified. Or it dried up. Or it created something entirely different. But I'm not sure if those timelines count as living in the worst timeline because we wouldn't technically be living at all."

"Is this part of book series or something?"

"Oh, now I will give you that one, that's part of a pretty good timeline. The one where Rothfuss and Martin were able to finish their series in a really timely manner. A lot less strife in that one. But it still has its issues. Everyone thinks they want no problems, but a few problems are actually better than none."

"There is timeline specifically devoted to authors writing books?"

"Well no, not to that specifically but it does stick out when you are in this one and go looking for book 6 and realize it doesn't exist."

"So is this the only timeline where it's not finished?"

"Oh no, there are a few. Some get to book 6 and stop but there are also a couple that never had him at all so there can be gratitude for the 5 you have right?"

"What about Rothfuss? Any timelines where he finishes?"

"Yeah, no."

"Figures."

"So see? This isn't the worst timeline at all. There are at least 8 that are worse than this one."

"At least eight?"

"At least."

"Any of them where you aren't a weirdo?"

"Four."