Election Day...

Years ago a friend of a friend wished I was dead. Not in some sort of general "Drop dead" sort of ridiculous slight but in an actual literal wish. I had been in a situation where if circumstances had been different I would have died, they told me they wished those circumstances had been different. 

When it happened I can remember feeling sick to my stomach. I mean, I have had people hate me before but this was a totally different level. This was someone who I didn't even know wishing I had died. 

My friend took them out for coffee to talk to them, then told me all the reasons why it was okay. Why what they had said wasn't that terrible really, they had their reasons, I shouldn't take it personally. And then got a little pissy with me that I was still not okay with it. So they explained more. And you know what? That did change my feelings. Not about the death wish but about my friend. I've never forgotten that moment. I've never forgotten that there was something someone could say to them that would justify wishing me dead.

I didn't understand it then. I don't understand it now. 

I feel that way about people who vote republican who have people they claim to love that would be adversely affected by that party being in power. 

People who have LGBTQ+ people in their lives that they claim to love.
People who have someone who is dependent on the social safety net that they claim to love.
People who have someone in their lives that is here as a Dreamer that they claim to love. 

On and on and on. 

Don't tell people you love them then vote in ways that will hurt them.

If you truly love them then you need to reflect on your beliefs. And then you need to come to some conclusions. Either what you thought you believed in was wrong and you change. Or you don't really love them. You love an idea more than a person. There is some justification out there that is good enough for you to treat the person you love as less than. 

Less than at best. Wish them dead at worst. 

Because a lot of the conservative legislation they have proposed or have passed in certain states, is a death wish. 

Denying trans folx health care is a death wish. 
Cutting off the social safety net is a death wish.
For a lot of people deportation is a death wish.
Denying medical treatment because your god says no is a death wish.

You can justify it all you want, but what you can't do is justify it and also insist that people treat you the same way they always have. 

The way they did before they knew that you say you love them but you don't value their lives. 

As you all know this lines up with why I left the church. They were telling me something about homosexuality that I could see with my own eyes was wrong. And once I could see that was wrong the rest just sort of fell like a house of cards. 

But not everyone does that. A lot of religious people when they are told by someone they love that they are part of the queer community stick with the religion and reject the person. And they do it in a variety of ways. Some just completely reject the person. Toss them out of their lives "until they come back to god." Some do it in more subtle ways, "hate the sin, love the sinner." Which, by the way, isn't biblical. You aren't going to find that anywhere in the bible. I mean, not that it's shocking that something they profess to believe isn't based in biblical principles but that's a blog for another day...

Anyway...they reject their loved one. In big ways and in small. And they stay with the church. And they vote in ways that will hurt them. They voted against marriage equity. They vote against adoption rights. They vote for church and state sanctioned discrimination. They give to Go Fund Me campaigns for bakers who refuse to make cakes for gay couples. And the whole time they profess to love their friend or family member. 

That isn't love. 

Not really. 

You cannot love someone and actively do things that harm them. I don't know what that is, but delusion comes close. 

Today the nation votes. I don't have a good feeling about how this election is going to go. I think a lot of people are in love with their own ideas and not the people around them. I think it's going to be painful. And I think it's going to make me change my mind.

About the people who say they love me. Because if you are voting to hurt me and my family, you don't. Not really. 

I won't forget.