Grrr....

I am in a bad mood today. 

My first instinct is to say I'm irrationally angry. But that's not really accurate. Yes, I'm angry. No, there isn't one thing I can point to that triggered it today. But...I don't think it's irrational to be angry right now. 

What's the expression, if you aren't angry, you aren't paying attention? 

That's what it feels like.

The feds are still in downtown Portland making a bad situation worse. 

The current president is doing everything he can to cast doubt on our next election. Including not agreeing to honor the results and wanting to postpone the voting all together. 

The financial news came out today and the past quarter was even worse than it looked at first. And we still have no plan on how to right the ship safely. 

It's almost August which should be my favorite month but I know this year it's going to be chock full of suckage. Not the same suckage as last year, but suckage just the same. The firsts are always the worst and culminating in the first anniversary of a death is the pinnacle of awful. But I know I also have Matt's birthday to get through, and  the open wound of Ann's death that is proving to be really hard to move around. 

Because we are still battling the disease that killed her. Or at least some of us are. Some of us are pretending that it's not a big deal and people who treat it as such are somehow just fear-mongers or out to get the president or something...but no matter what you believe it's in the news every single day. I am finding it hard to move on and find peace because I can't move on. Does that make sense?

I'm also reading in my On This Day posts from 2016 when I was making like Cassandra and trying to warn people that I thought Trump could win. Arguing with fucking progressives about the court and its importance. Nothing frustrates me more than the fact that Democrats can't wrap their heads around how temporary a president is compared to a court justice. Those are LIFETIME appointments. LIFETIME. Ugh...And here we are again. I'm praying to a god I don't believe in that Ruth Bader Ginsberg holds on until we get a new president in office. 

I'd also love to be able to lend some of my pissed offness to a friend who is just sad right now. Her week has sucked in a totally different way than the collective suck we are all going through. She lost her job and had her divorce finalized in a one two punch. I wish I could give her some of my anger to help her move past the divorce pain. She's earned it; the anger. And I think it will get there for her. Then she will be able to burn through and move on, but right now she's sad and I wish I had the right words to help her not be. 

There are a few other things going on and they all add up to just being in a really foul mood today. 

So not irrationally angry, but still just fucking pissed off. 

Hoping this helps...

ALSO....

Blogger has changed their interface and it's driving me bonkers!