Almost...

I almost had a short story.

Technically three times this week I almost had a short story.

But today it was so close. I had a start. I had a feeling there was more. I did all sorts of tricks to try and keep it going. But...

And that's what has been happening for the past few months. Almost a year. Since Mom died. Then the lock down. Then Ann dying. I get the tendrils of a story and then my brain says...well no. Here think about this instead.

But I don't want to think about that instead. I want to get lost in something I am making up. I don't want anymore grief fiction. I don't want anymore blocks. I just want a clever little story about people doing whatever they want to without thinking about quarantines and social distancing and death.

Well maybe they can think about death.

The other evening while Brent and I chatted about our day (which when you spend it in the same house isn't as filled with GUESS WHAT HAPPENED as it used to be)....

ANYWAY...while we were chatting I had a story start pop into my head. And then the thought of...You write so much about both sides of the life line is that why you are blocked now? Because there is too much going on right over that line? Is it too real right now? Are you too close?

And the story was gone.

Just like that.

It's the theme for the year.

But I am taking it as a positive sign that there have been more and more false starts lately. Maybe that means that I am headed for a breakthrough.

Brent thinks maybe I just need to relax into writing the other things in my head right now. Stop waiting for fiction. Which I could...but honestly I am so bored with thinking about Covid and politics and horrible people. But maybe I need to write about it and get it out anyway? Just because I'm bored with it doesn't mean the hamster wheel in my head has stopped spinning.

I do think I'm going to carve out writing time every day for a stretch and see what happens. It could just be that I am out of the habit and once I start putting words on the screen again it will all free up and flow.

I wrote a long letter to the future this week and now this so two times in 4 days, that's better than I have been hitting. Let's see how tomorrow goes...

As always,
Wash your hands
Keep your distance
Wear your fucking mask!