Regulate This...

We are having a disagreement with our HOA. It's the third time we've had a disagreement with this HOA in two years. Our last HOA we didn't really ever hear from. I think we had one request that was turned down and we knew going in it probably would be but wanted to ask anyway. (We wanted to add a few inches to our front porch, we figured out a way to do it that wouldn't have looked odd with the rest of the units but because it was something that wouldn't then match we got turned down. We would have rather not been, but it was a reasonable and expected turn down.)

But our luck has run out. We are going to be arguing with these guys for as long as we live here it seems. Which if they keep coming back to us with nonsense won't be terribly long. Brent will take the loss and move rather than fight. He has zero time for drama at all and petty drama especially. And if we do move, you can guarantee it will be someplace with no HOA. Which will be really hard to find. HOAs are very popular, even neighborhoods you would not expect them often have them. And you don't know until you are in if it's a low key HOA that you rarely hear from or a we drive down the street looking for violations HOA.

When we got the notice from them this past weekend Brent said "People are too worried about regulating things they shouldn't care about and have no concern with regulations that they should care about." Then he told me, "Feel free to use that as a Facebook status." Which I will not. Instead I'll write a whole blog about it. 

We talk a lot about the nonsense people worry about and want to make laws about. Obviously having a trans child we are especially sensitive to the number of anti trans laws that are popping up. And we tried to warn people that it had nothing to do with "think of the children" and everything to do with "I hate trans people" Now that you are seeing legislatures move on from trying to regulate underage people and on to trying to get rid of trans care all together you can send your "You were right and I never should have doubted you" messages.

And it really doesn't even have anything to do with trans people. It has to do with power and what the ruling classes will do to keep it. If they can find someone to focus your hate and attention on they will. Because they do not want you to look at them. 

They want to regulate everything they can about you. Your health care choices, your body autonomy, your life, so that you don't realize that what we should be regulating is them. How did they get their money? How are they able to increase their wealth at such a rate while people are starving? Why have we decided that being a billionaire is aspirational instead of a crime against humanity? 

How many times have you been watching the news and some multinational corporation has done something awful and you find out it was legal? How many times have you read about tax rates, ACTUAL tax rates, the amount people actually paid and found out the loopholes and deductibles that are allowed for bullshit? How many times have you uttered the phrase, "I can't believe that's legal?"

If they can keep you trying to regulate if there is a book that mentions gay penguins in your child's library they can keep you from noticing they are making huge profits on necessary healthcare and medications that should have long passed out of patent protection. 

We worry about regulations on things that just don't matter. 

Ask yourself basic questions as you try to monitor someone else's life. 

Does this hurt me?

Does this hurt anybody else?

Is this really my business? (if the answer to the first two questions is no then this one is also no)

Am I being a dick about this? (if all of the above are no and you are still insisting that you should have some sort of control, then yes, yes you are)

Let people live their lives. If it's not hurting you, if it's not hurting someone else, it's not your business and you need to move on. 

Self regulate. Leave everyone else alone.