Nonostalgia...

I always hate the part where people talk about their childhoods. 

And it always happens. 

New friendships. New potential romantic relationships. 

Everyone loves to talk about their childhood. 

Oh remember this TV show or that one? (Nope, can't say that I do. I don't really watch TV. Which I know opens a whole new REALLY? conversation.)

Oh gosh, remember how we used to play outside all day? (Some kids did. Some didn't. I'd bargain it's the same today.)

We used to drink from the garden hose! (Look, let's be honest, why do people act like that's a big deal? Did you haul the water from the creek, boil it, cool it, then run it through the hose? Or did you just turn on the outside spigot and get a drink? It's as interesting as watering a potted plant.)

These kids today are...fill in the blank, soft, spoiled, unaware, whatever. (I'd bet the same things your parents said about you when you were a kid.)

Why do they always want to talk about their childhoods as if that means anything anymore? I mean, you're an adult now, if you want to go outside, go outside. If you want to drink from your garden hose, drink from your garden hose. If you want to watch Sesame Street all day, watch it. These are things you can do now. But you don't want to do that, and you'd be embarassed to talk about it if you did. So why do you want to talk to me about doing it when you were a kid? 

Hopefully what you did at 5, 10, 15 and even 20 years old are the least interesting things about you. Don't make me relive your awkward years. 

Or if you insist on talking about your childhood there had better be something interesting to share. 

Once a friend told me about the time she met Jimmy Carter when she was 8. She asked him to move out of her way because she was trying to see the president. She had thought he would be wearing a sash for some reason. She said he was a lovely gentleman and they all had a good laugh at her expense about the sash thing. And also, that she's still more than a little disappointed that he wasn't wearing one. 

Now that's a great "when I was a kid" story. 

But most aren't. 

And I get it. I do. People just are trying to connect. To find things in common. But is it a real connection to say at 10 years old we were probably doing the same thing? I mean I ate eggs for breakfast this morning and I bet you've eaten eggs for breakfast as well. Is that something cool we should make a meme about? Sure, it's no garden hose drinking but...

I just hate that part of the conversation. The bonding over childhood. 

And maybe it would be different if I had had a different sort of childhood. Maybe if I had drunk from the garden hose while playing outside all day as soon as Sesame Street was over. Maybe if that had been my childhood instead of floating in a vat of artificial amniotic fluid, being grown as a clone replacement for the original me that was slowly dying from old age. Maybe if my implanted memories were about School House Rock instead of an actual one room schoolhouse. Maybe if I had shared bonding moments with my new supposed peers instead implanted ones with their grandparents. 

Maybe. 

Maybe if I ever meet someone who starts a conversation with "Remember when it was time to change out the fluid and it was so cold you'd shiver for what seemed like a week?" maybe then I'll get the whole garden hose thing.

(Write about a character who isn't nostalgic about their past at all, and show readers why)