Wrapping Up...

Christopher goes home today. We got to have him here for just over two weeks. Long enough to shelter in place for 14 days, get a haircut, then fly home, where he will shelter in place again for another 14 days. 

It wasn't as simple as normal. The decision or the whole holiday. We did not do most of our holiday traditions. The ones we did do were modified versions. But we got time together as a family and that really was all that mattered. 

It came without ribbons, it came without bows...well it sort of didn't come at all. I mean, we had a really lovely Christmas dinner but we could have just called it fancy dinner day and it would have been the same. We didn't exchange presents at all. Which isn't that big of a difference. Brent and I stopped exchanging gifts a few years ago. It was my call. I just thought it was kind of silly at this point. We have been married for more than a few years, we have pretty much everything we could ever need, if we do find we need or want something during the year we just pick it up right then. A lot of times gifts were fun things, or things we had mentioned in passing, but basically just more stuff. 

Now, here is the part that made it a little tough to stop, Brent is really good at the stuff part. He is a good gift giver. Takes notes when you talk about things sort of gift giver. But even with how good he is at it, it seemed like an extra layer of pressure to take care of during what is normally a really busy season, so we stopped. 

But we still got Christopher gifts, and he got us gifts. Even though over the years it's been more of a check my Amazon Wishlist (oh that devil Amazon making themselves so easy to use) and get me something from there. We bought our mothers gifts and we bought some things for the kids. But with our mothers both being gone, with Christmas being a little wonky, with the decision not to decorate so we didn't end up with another broken leg on the cat, we just made the call to send gift cards to a few people and call it a wrap. 

It was easier. 

Christmas day passed with barely a thought about it being Christmas except for when Brent thought to himself that he should call his mother...I had my moment the day after when I thought I should check the sales for anything fun for her birthday. Smattering of grief to flavor the days. We are getting used to that in a way, I think. The moments where we forget she's gone followed quickly by the remembering. She's only been gone seven months, after all. They might have been the seven months that lasted 40 years, but still, it's not a ton of time. We are still dealing. 

Grief chronicles and pandemic prose all wrapped up together. 

And today Christopher goes home. We have no idea when we will see him again. Hopefully the vaccine rollout starts rolling a little smoother and we get him by the Fall. Part of not exchanging gifts was the idea that when this all settles down we will take a family trip to the newly reopened Disneyland to celebrate. Of course that will mean finding someone to watch the cats. Who have never spent more than 3 hours alone. Ever. Ever. So that's going to be a little more challenging than it was with George. 

I'd like to keep Christopher here. With the cats. And not let him spend more than 3 hours alone. Which is just a reaction to the grief and the pandemic for sure. He's lived alone for years now. He prefers it, he's fine being alone. He's my child and I'm fine being alone for the most part. Definitely fine being with just Brent. But there is still a part of me that hates that during this time he's in Bend and we are here. Though we would have driven him crazy by now. Parents man...they are just so...parenty.

So the holidays are wrapping up. Christopher is heading back home. I am full bore into a new year full of goals. 

And we hope. 

Hope for the vaccine.
Hope for an easier 2021.

So hope with me. 

But keep wearing your masks!