When I was working out today the phone rang and it threw my podcast off of my headset and I couldn't get it to reconnect. I was already going at a good clip on the treadmill and just gave up trying and went to listening to the trainer instead. Not something I normally do, I've tried it a few times but mostly it's not that interesting so I just watch the pretty scenery and do my own thing.
Today was not one of those days. It ended up being really interesting and really inspiring.
It was a hike through the Zebra Canyons in Utah. They are slot canyons and let me tell you, not someplace I would ever hike on my own. Not just because it's hot in Utah, but because the slot canyons are really small. The iFit guide was a super skinny guy and at times it looked like he was about to get stuck. All I could think is I would be wedged in there so fast it wouldn't even be funny. No way. But it was really pretty and he did little "ISN'T GEOLOGY THE COOLEST!" things that made me think of Steph so that made me happy as well.
But on the walk across the open desert areas on the way to the slot canyons he was talking about what got him into mountaineering and hiking and just being that adventurer kind of guy. He read Into Thin Air at a young age. It's the story of the hikers stuck on Everest when a massive storm blew in. And when he read it it wondered "Who would I be?" Would he have been the kind that stayed with a friend who couldn't go any further, knowing that it could very well kill them too? Would he have been the kind that hiked back through the storm to try and get help? Would he have been the one who was left for dead but found an inner strength to get up and keep going? Who would he have been?
And then later in life he found out.
The iFit guide was Aron Ralston which some of you might know from his book or the movie 127 Hours. It's the story of him getting his arm trapped while he was out hiking and eventually have to cut his own arm off to be able to get to safety. He said while he was trapped he remembered reading Into Thin Air and how it had influenced him to become an outdoor adventurer and now he was going to find out who he was. Turns out he was the guy left for dead who found a way to keep going.
Amazing.
How often do we get to find out who we would be?
We do it all the time when we read about important periods in our history. When we read the stories about the heroes who made a difference. And when we read about the villains who made their own differences, just not good ones. And I think we all imagine we would be the good guys.
We would have marched for equal rights with MLK Jr.
We would have hidden Jews in the attic.
We would have worked to get slaves to freedom.
We would have stood in Tiananmen Square.
We are sure we would have.
But here's the really interesting part, we are always living in a moment in history that allows us to see who we would have been. Maybe it's not as dramatic as freedom fighters, or the underground railroad, or even getting your arm trapped in a canyon, but we are always able to show who we are.
I've talked about it a LOT over the past four years, as you all know. What should I be doing? Can I do anything to make a difference? What the hell is going on with the world right now?
And I can say I've had a lot of friends who showed me who they would have been. I've had friends who marched in protests; starting with the Women's March on Washington the day after Trump's inauguration up to and through the BLM Marches this summer. I've had friends who spoke out, loudly and often, about injustices they saw. They posted statuses, they hooked people up with links to more information, they took on internet troglodytes and fought the good fight with their words. I've had friends who opened their pocketbooks and donated to worthy causes. Who helped to battle the injustices through good old cash payments. I've had friends who were overwhelmed by what they saw in the world and could do no more than protect their own hearts and try to keep themselves going while praying or sending love or just hope out to those who were battling.
And, sadly, I've also had people around me rejoice in the injustice. Or if not rejoice in it, ignore it because at the same time they were getting conservative justices or tax cuts. The ends justified the means. No matter how mean they were. I'm not sure which disgusted me more. Those that ignored the injustice because they thought it would make for a more conservative judiciary, one they believe would do "right" by them and their religion or the ones who ignored it for money? If you are doing something immoral for what you believe to be a moral gain doesn't that make it all immoral? And if you are doing it for money that just makes you a whore.
And then there were those who are fine with it all.
Fine with the insurrection. Fine with the Congressmen and Women who helped. Who endangered the lives of their fellow Congresspersons. Fine with a president who was impeached for the second time for trying to wreck our democracy. First by foreign influence and then by domestic. (Guarding against threats both foreign and domestic should be a priority, I mean I've heard it someplace before I'm sure) They are fine with it all because it's us against them after all and if they are unhappy then that's all that matters.
We always have a chance to know who we would have been. Because that is who we are.
I am the one who doesn't buy into the conspiracy theories. I am the one who ponders aloud and in writing what is going on the in the world. I am the one who believes that written words have power and we should use them for the most good that we can. I am the one who opens their pocketbook (or Brent's as the case may be) and gives to the charities and the organizations that I think will help. I am the one that calls bullshit bullshit. I am the one who is saddened by the number of people in my life that I have watched show me who they are, and they aren't who I thought they were.
I know who I am.
Who are you? And does it line up with who you thought you would be?
I will give you a hint, cheering the man walking through the Capitol holding a Confederate battle flag means you would not have been one of those supporting Martin Luther King Jr. and the fight for civil rights.
Being okay that "only a few" of the people in Cult45 wear Nazi regalia or sweatshirts with Camp Auschwitz on the front means you would not have been the one hiding Jews in your attic.
Who are you?
And are you okay with that?
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