“Okay, I’ll start at the beginning. Freshman year, pledge
week.”
“I didn’t know you were a fraternity guy.”
“Are you telling this story, or am I?”
Gloria laughed, “Sorry, I’ll just sit back and listen. No
questions.”
He raised his eyebrows, “Somehow, I doubt that. Anyway, I
was pledging Deke, Delta Kappa Epsilon. It had always been understood that I
would be a member and so I just followed that path without much thinking about
it. Pledge week we were each handed a copy of the tome. It hadn’t even been
released yet. This is a prerelease limited edition just for promising young men
who will grow up to be the leaders of your country. Impressed?”
“Hardly.”
“That’s not surprising. But we each got a copy and were to
read it and know it well enough that anytime a brother asked us a question
about it we could recite back an answer. I was actually kind of stoked about
it. I mean, pledge weeks have awful reputations of the shit they make you do,
but reading? This was definitely my fraternity; these were my people.
Then I started to read it. As you mentioned, it’s well, it’s
a lot. He is pretty sure he’s the smartest person to have ever written a book
and really wants you to know that. I wasn’t really enjoying it, but I could
fake my way through pledge week. No problem.
Then I noticed that all of my older brothers had copies of
their own book to live by. Also, a
massive tome. Also, massively unreadable. Instead of Infinite Jest they
all had Atlas Shrugged.”
“Oh no!”
“Oh yes. And not only did they all have it there were extra
copies just lying around everywhere so you could pick one up and read it at any
time. Just in case you were in the mood for some elitist bullshit. But I
thought, well, maybe they hadn’t really read it any more than my pledge
brothers were reading our tome. So, I asked a few about it. They were reading
it. They were enthralled by the ideas. Not only had they read the book they had
become Randian acolytes. They were better than everyone else and should
be treated accordingly. They deserved every good thing and if that meant that
someone else suffered, well was that really their fault?”
Gloria screwed up her face to keep from interjecting.
“Exactly. So, I quit. I packed up my bag and went back to my
dorm only to discover that I no longer had a room in Berranger Hall. Everything
had been packed up and was at Student Services and my room had been given
away.”
“You had a room in Berranger Hall? You gave up a room in
Berranger Hall? Nobody gives up a room in Berranger Hall!”
“It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I had every expectation that I would
be living in the Deke house. No need for the room. I was a shoe in there. No
worries about getting washed out. When I quit the pledge process, I didn’t have
a room anymore. At least not my old room. They found a space for me in
Purgatory Hall.”
“Purgatory Hall?”
“The old dorms. They tore them down the next year to build
new. But I was lucky enough to be one of the last residents. And during my year
there I was grateful to have the tome. It was useful for propping the window
open when the AC didn’t work. It was great at blocking the bathroom door that
didn’t lock so you could have a minute of privacy. It was just the right height
to stand on to wiggle the bulb in the ceiling so the light would work.”
“Ah, the physically using the book now makes sense. And
metaphorically?”
“I carry it everywhere. It’s a weight. A constant reminder
that I was set up in life to be able to carry more than other people. Not
because I’m better, or stronger, or more capable, but because I was born into a
family and system that set me up well. I should carry more because I can carry
more. I’ll let it go, eventually, it will end up sitting on the bookshelf of my
office or in my house, always a reminder that just because the world sees you
one way doesn’t mean you have to see yourself through that same lens. You get
to make choices. And sometimes they are going to mean losing your room in the
best dorm on campus and staying in purgatory.”
“Hunh.”
“Not really what you expected?”
“No, not really. Maybe you should put some sort of ‘It’s a
stepstool, not a book’ sticker on the cover?”
With a quick knock on the door and without waiting for an answer Ellie came rushing into the room.
“Hey! Here you are! Sorry, to interrupt but I don’t want to
be late…and…Hey, Con. Wait, are you the TA for comparative lit?”
“Ellie, hello, lovely to see you. Yes, I am. You two know
each other I guess?”
“Yes, actually, Ellie is the future best seller I was
talking about earlier. Let me pack up and we’ll get going. And Con?”
“Short for Conrad. I started using my middle name a few
years ago.” He turned to Ellie now, “I go by Peter now.”
“Short for your middle name, actually. It is nice to see
you, and we should catch up soon, and again, I hate to be rude, but I really do
need to pull Gloria away now.” Ellie paused for a second, “Would you like to
join us?”
“Thank you, but I have someplace I need to be tonight. Gloria,
thank you for the time tonight. Just a quick run with your proofreader and your
paper should be ready to go. Enjoy your reading, ladies.”
Gloria and Ellie hurried out to the auditorium for Ellie’s
reading. “Your TA is Conrad Peterson Berranger. Will wonders never cease.”
“Wait, what? Berranger?”
“Yeah, did you not know his last name?”
“He never said it. Just told everyone to call him Peter.
Berranger, like Berranger Hall and Berranger Field?”
“Yeah, he had a falling out with his father a few years ago,
big scandal, something about a fraternity, I think? His dad had him tossed out
of his dorm room and everything. Big whispers at all the holiday parties that
year. I always assumed he must have gotten in trouble at a party, brought
embarrassment to the family sort of thing. But it was all just gossip.”
“Well, he did say he was a shoe in to make it. Interesting.”
“What is interesting?”
“The fact that you are reading your first chapter tonight
and I get to be there to see other people realize what a genius you are.”
Ellie tried to glare at her, she was avoiding answering
directly and Ellie hated it when people did that. But she’d let it pass
tonight. Tonight, she was too nervous about her own story to get too wrapped up
in someone else’s.
No comments:
Post a Comment