Oops I Did it Again...

*read post*
*click through to their main page*
*click unfriend*

Done and dusted. 

I just don't have time for it. Not anymore. I mean I could have sent a message saying, "hey this is why I'm tossing your ass like moldy bread" or I could have posted a few links to actual scientific studies under their oh so fucking funny meme, but I just don't care to do that right now. Not with them. 

And I'll tell you why. Years ago we had a conversation about someone transitioning and they said "It takes more than fake tits to be a woman." and when I pressed them on what it actually took they answered that we would just have to agree to disagree. I told them I didn't agree with anything except that they were wrong. I should have unfriended them then. I see that now. But at the time I thought well, I've said my piece let's see what else happens. 

When Katie came out I watched their reaction. I mean, it had been years since the fake tits comment and they had posted a lot of ally stuff since then so...and they did make the supportive comment under the main post. I thought, well there you go. People can change. Glad I gave them the chance. 

Until today. And I'm sure if I had said something I would have been greeted with "it's just a meme" or "it's a joke, lighten up!" something along those lines. But it's not just a meme or just a joke when you are talking about people's lives. And that's where we are right now. People's lives are on the line. In my country they are passing anti trans legislation at an embarrassing speed. Not caring at all that what they are passing is too broad to withstand a court challenge, because that's not the point. The actual law is bonus. Shoving trans folks back in the closet is the point. Or underground. A dead we can pretend they were cis kid is better to them than a living trans one. 

And so I don't have time for that bullshit. I will be here for your honest questions. Just like I said I would. I will be here to help you with those "Look, I'm old and I don't know how to say...or do...or be..." moments. I will be here for the gentle corrections. The guidance through the new vernacular that you are struggling with. You come to to me with good honest intentions and I am here. 

Other than that I have no time for you. 

I told Katie last week that I know it makes me a bad queer but I really don't even have time for those of you that can't manage more than a Love is Love post or a even lazier rainbow colored Love. I need more. I need some actual belief from you that EVERYONE deserves the same rights. I need some actual belief from you that someone else's journey isn't yours and you need to just not worry about their medical care. If it doesn't directly affect you it's none of your business. You can't catch LGBTQIA+, it's not a virus, there is no vaccine for it, it's not a disease. So none of any of it is your business.

And, again, don't get me wrong. Love is Love and rainbows are good starts. If that's where you are starting from, if you are new to this whole allyship thing then I get that it can feel like a big brave step to show support. That there are people out there waiting to pounce when they see someone who they think thinks the way they do posting a Pride post. I get it. But if you aren't new? If this isn't your first foray into showing support? Going to need a little more from you. 

I've written about it over and over again. Being an ally is an active thing. Money, time, speaking out when needed. Standing up for, next to, in front of, or behind someone who needs you, that's active allyship. Voting for people who will do the same. That's active allyship. 

And I don't have time for your rainbows and hearts and quietly voting for people who want to make it illegal for kids to get the healthcare they need. Who want to gate keep trans care so hard the outcome is more likely to be suicide than transitioning. Who think it's open for discussion if homosexual couples should be able to have children. Who aren't opposed to revisiting the idea that marriage equality is settled. I don't have time for you to dismiss my child, my family, my friends, myself like that. I just don't. 

So yeah, oops I did it again. Down to 248 on my friend list. Let's see if I've got the right number now.