Backhanded...

You all know I love compliments. Not just the ones I get but the ones I give. I think giving a compliment is one of the nicest things you can do for someone. If I think your shoes are fabulous that's one thing, if I think your shoes are fabulous and I tell you "those shoes are fabulous" then you get the boost of knowing the care you took in picking out those shoes was noticed and appreciated. 

I've talked about it before, there is an art to giving a compliment at times. There are definitely some good rules to follow. I use the give and go method. Give the compliment as a fly by, or as I'm leaving or they are leaving the area. Makes it really clear that I am complimenting you because I really do think that is a lovely color shirt, not that I'm staring at your boobs and want something from you. 

The main rule on complimenting strangers: Don't comment on their bodies. Just don't. Even if you think you are being nice or it's a comment about how much you like what you see or anything like that just don't. 

And that brings us to today...

I left the house to run errands today feeling all sorts of cute. The dress I'm wearing is lovely. It's cut right for my shape, it's soft to the touch, it's a pretty pattern (not something I normally do), it's a style that works for me. 

And you know when you feel good you've got that extra swagger. 

Man, I was full of swagger.

Got to Fred Meyer and as I was walking in to the store there was a little old couple walking out and they stopped me to tell me how lovely I looked. Swagger.

As I was going to the home goods side of the store a sweater in the clothing department caught my eye. You know when you are feeling it you start thinking you should buy ALL the clothes right? Even Fred Meyer sweaters. So I was looking at it, lovely fall colors with a leaf pattern on the lapel. One of the store employees saw me and warned me that it itches. I appreciated the warning though I would guess that the store wouldn't appreciate her warning people off. Thanked her and turned to leave to get my shopping done and then...

A woman who was shopping near me stopped me to tell me she really liked my dress, and before I could get the thank you out she went on, she never feels like she can wear things like that because she's really bottom heavy like I am but it looks good on me. 

Wow...well...thanks? I mean...what? 

I had about 3,456 responses filter through my head and my various personalities before settling on...

"Thanks. But can I tell you something?"

She looked wary but said yes.

"Don't call yourself bottom heavy. Find a new way to describe your shape. Whatever makes you feel comfortable. I have a round butt and thick thighs. I'm okay with that. It's a positive. (made the joke) Low center of gravity, I'm a lot harder to tip over."

"Oh it's okay, I've always been bottom heavy, it doesn't bother me."

(I absolutely don't believe her)

"Okay, well at least now you know you can totally wear this style. Since you are shaped like I am and you like the way it looks on me hold on to that thought and know you will look good in it too."

"Maybe."

And then I left her and decided since I was right there in the clothing section I would take a picture of what I was wearing and the aforementioned "Really bottom heavy" bottom. 

Finished my shopping still full of swagger, but thinking, man this is going to be a status update soon! And then wait...this is a blog. 

Don't let labels other people have stuck on you determine what you think of yourself. I grew up being called buffalo butt and thunder thighs. As you know from the blog I posted a few weeks ago I am still super self conscious about my legs. If I had been told growing up that cellulite is just a genetic thing and that a round butt and thick thighs is just a body shape and distribution of muscle and nothing to try and battle against I imagine that a lot of my eating issues wouldn't exist. 

And, again, give the compliment, always give the compliment, but don't comment on someone else's body. Even if you think you are commiserating or being complimentary or whatever...don't comment on someone else's body. 

Because if they aren't full of swagger you could really ruin their day. 

But not today...today you can't tell me nothing. 

It's really great dress.