Sorted!

Did the big season transition sort today. Technically our weather is still in the "who knows!" part of the year, but with the new house and bigger closet my entire wardrobe is actually out. No switch from under the bed storage to in the closet wearable. So first full day of Fall seemed like a good time to do the sort.

Got rid of a few things. Some shoes that were past their prime or that I have never worn because the idea of them was better than they were. A few things I bought this summer that just aren't me, no matter how much I TRIED to love them. They just weren't cut exactly right for my figure and I was constantly tugging and adjusting. I knew after the first couple of wearings that they weren't long for my closet but I wanted to give them until the end of the season to know for sure. I know for sure. 

Also got rid of some winter and fall items I didn't get rid of on the other side of summer. Even though they were too big then as well. But I didn't have faith that I was going to stay this size. It had only been a year so really I could gain weight over the summer and then what would I do? And a lot of those things were what I call punishment clothes so it's even worse. Things I bought that fit but didn't really bring me any joy to wear. I wouldn't ever say I loved them, but eh, they fit. 

Which is such a shitty way to treat yourself and I SWEAR everytime I catch myself doing it that I won't do it again but...long history of body issues so it's always a work in progress.

So those too big things, things that were pretty much worn out anyway, and things that just aren't my style at all got taken out. It wasn't a huge pile really. Not like the 10 bag sort I did a few years ago when I decided I would never be anything other than a size 12 again and got rid of all of those 8s and 10s that I would really like to have right now...

But it was still the right call at the time. I think clearing out all of that extra stuff that I couldn't possibly squeeze into at the time helped me feel better about the size I was and what I had in my closet. Because I didn't lose this weight due to a diet like eat less diet, I lost this weight due to a diet change. Like stop eating food that is apparently making you ill. 

I wish I had a few of those things from the big sort, but it would not have been worth the feelings of being a failure I had everytime I would see them and know I couldn't fit them. I much preferred making peace with my weight at the time. And I thought I had.

So you can see why I was shocked to find some punishment clothes had still crept their way in. 

Though, maybe they were just pandemic who the hell cares about anything clothes. I know a few pairs of pajama bottoms that went away in this trip were pandemic comfort before anything else clothes. So maybe the big, shapeless, colors I never wear t-shirts were as well. 

I also returned a couple of things to eShakti that I had recently bought. Even with the custom fitting they just didn't look right on me so I returned them. Which you can, but you forfeit the customization fee. Which is fair. I mean the fact that you can return something that was made to your specific measurements is great. But there have been times in the past where I've kept things because of that. "Oh I won't get the customization back so I might as well keep it." What a ridiculous way to view it. You won't get all of it back so you don't bother getting most of it back and then keep something in your closet that you are NEVER going to wear? So silly. 

But this time I caught myself thinking that and I pulled my head out of my ass and sent them back. If it doesn't fit, it doesn't matter if you THOUGHT it was going to fit when you bought it. Some things just aren't right for your particular body type even if it's the perfect size. 

But right now my closet is filled with things I love. Things that fit. Things that work for me. 

And I also know what I'm missing and I need to fill in. 

Just not with punishment clothes!