There was a period of time when I was in my early 20s where I thought I wanted to be a standup comic. I had two things working against me; I am not a night owl, and I had a good relationship with my father.
I've thought about it now and I could use the orphan angle as long as I didn't mention my folks were both in their 80s when they passed, but still not a night owl.
And you don't really see a lot of afternoon comedy shows. You really need to have some drinking going on, you get funnier the drunker the audience is, and the people drinking in the middle of the day are generally hard core alcoholics not comedy aficionados.
But I really did think about it. We watched a lot of comedy at the time and I would often leave the show thinking, I'm funnier than that. Now, we watched a lot of just starting out comedians, so I probably was, at least on a daily basis.
Standup is a different thing than just being off the cuff funny. Writing a joke is a skill. Writing enough jokes to have a tight ten minutes is a different skill. And writing enough jokes to fill an hour is a whole other level.
Brent was pretty sure I could do it. Brent is pretty sure I can do anything. Also not great for comedy. People don't want you to stand on stage and talk about how supportive your spouse is. But while I was thinking about it I got a degree in accounting and went to work as a bookkeeper instead.
So same same really.
Then years later when I was in advertising and handling the KFC account I would be at conferences and they'd have motivational speakers. Again I thought, Oh I would like to do that. Back to the standup comic influence but now with extra motivation!
But I didn't have a tragedy I'd overcome or a big success story to sell. And you needed one or the other, and preferably both, to get on that circuit. I totally could have made something up. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm pretty good at making shit up. But that is not something you want to get caught doing. It will crash whatever career you made. Though I guess you could do a redemption tour where you talk about overcoming the great tragedy of getting caught making up a great tragedy. Too bad I didn't think of that earlier...
About ten years ago or so someone that I knew put me in their Facebook group that was all comedians. He had commented quite a few times about how funny I was and that he thought I'd enjoy it. And I did. For a little bit. They would work out bits together, or riff on things in the news. Each new post trying to top the post before it.
Then the group got bigger and bigger and that tipping point of this is a fun space to this is not a space for me happened.A lot of standups are really miserable people. A lot of bitterness. They are on stage looking to fill the giant hole in themselves that should have love and decency.
Funny, but not in that way, I was actually accused of stealing a joke. It was in one of those top this threads and I made a joke observation and he was like, hey! That's my joke and he got really shitty about it. I knew I hadn't stolen the joke from him, it was something I had posted as a Facebook status while watching a TV show and I had just reused it in this forum. I had stolen my own joke, but that's okay.
Being me I went through pages and pages of status updates until I found the first time I had said it and...
He had commented on it about how funny it was.
Dude...not only did I not steal your joke but look here...
Instead of apologizing he deleted his comment on the original post. Of course I had already screenshotted that shit and I kept it for a long time. Until one day I realized I had jettisoned him off my friend list so there was no need to keep the receipts of him being a low down dirty joke stealer.
And I wouldn't have really cared, I've had jokes stolen before, and I've had people ask if they could repost something funny I've said. It was the attitude around him accusing me of stealing it from him. I don't make a living telling jokes so if you want to steal my stuff that's fine, but don't take credit for my work TO ME.
Oh, maybe that could be my angle on being a motivational speaker. Once someone stole something of mine and I came with receipts...
Maybe not.
It's just one of those interesting things to think about. What might have happened if I had taken Brent's confidence in me and gotten on stage in San Diego during open mic nights. Would I have had a different career or would I be a lot more serious about life as clearly I am not that funny?
Our entire lives are filled with those moments. The paths we choose. I went for the solid always will have a job in this field path. And then ended up in a different career after all. But still solid. Until I decided to go back to school for a different degree in a career that would pay less and be much more difficult.
I'm really very smart.
I just hide it well.
Though Brent is pretty sure I'm a genius.
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