No Chill...

Because of the On This Day feature I can almost pinpoint when I lose my chill about certain issues. 

Like I always tend to start out a little, well nicer, about people saying things that I disagree with. I try reasoning with them, or giving examples of why I feel the way I do. And this goes on for awhile and then...no chill sets in. It could be weeks, or it could be months. Sometimes it's even longer.

But because I have that written record now I can actually see it happening. 

Covid it was a clear line. Which makes complete sense. I was much more relaxed about it, and about the people who questioned it being a real serious issue, even though I believed we needed to take it seriously, right up until Ann died. Then my chill completely disappeared. I was still up for debate on things like what do we need to do to get stores and businesses opened, what do we need to do to allow people to visit loved ones in long term care? But I was not open to any more people who wanted to talk about it being a hoax, or not that dangerous, or just like the flu. That was off the table now. If you brought it up? Zero. Chill.

There was a discussion on my feed today that was about how complicated it was, that Ann died because she and the people around her didn't take it seriously enough, but that my cousin's mother was deteriorating in her nursing home with no visitors because they were taking it very seriously. Where was the balance? Someone wanted to come in with a conspiracy theory about transmission numbers not being accurately tracked and I was having none of it. Give me your facts, show me your work, don't tell me you know something other people don't but you can't tell me because...reasons. 

Bullshit. 

And I never ever got my chill back about it. I will never ever be able to understand how (and let's be clear here, it's a political divide that happened) it became a political stance to wear or not wear masks. How the same group that cries, "Think of the children!" when there is book about two male penguins raising a chick freaks the fuck out when schools say that cases are rising again so they decided to go back to wearing masks. How dare they decide to protect children from an actual disease that is actually happening right now. 

No chill.

I lost my chill about 9/11 discussions about 5 years ago. And it's more that I just don't talk about it much because other people don't have any chill about it and I was tired of that. 

My feelings about it are that I don't like the message that seems to be pushed. The never forget message around pictures of the attack itself. I don't need to remember the buildings falling. I don't need to remember the people jumping from the windows. I don't need to remember the death. Those images were seared into our brains on constant loop. I don't need a reminder of that, it's all still there. I can never forget that. What I would rather see is the positives that came from the horror. The moments of people banding together. The feeling of being together. All of us. 

That doesn't happen anymore. We don't feel united in things. We are so separate. 

Even a global pandemic could not bring us together to fight against the spread. 

But when I've posted that I feel this way I get slammed by people wanted to say how wrong I am. That it's fine to post the pictures of the Towers falling or of the people jumping because that was what happened and we need to remember that part. And no matter how much I say, my opinion, I think, I feel, I don't, they keep blasting away because they have no chill. No room at all for an opinion that says I don't want to focus on the death, I want to focus on what the living did next, and I'm not saying you can't have a death orgy once a year, I just don't like it. But that's not allowed. They have no chill.

It's interesting to see the differences over the years. It's interesting to recognize my "voice" in posts and discussion but realize that is not me anymore. I wouldn't have that sort of discussion anymore. I would say my piece and then shut that shit down. 

LGBTQ2S+ discussions have never had any chill from me. I'm guessing you would have had to go much farther back than Facebook's creation to find that in me. The only thing that has changed is the acronym. And that's not even consistent now. I alternate between four different ones. LGBT+, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+ and LGBTQ2S+.  I've heard a lot of good arguments around a lot of different groupings and for me, I think that the + covers all of them no matter which of them I use. But I'm willing to shift if needed. Chill within my no chill zone I guess. 

What about you? What have you lost your chill about or noticed that other people have no chill so you don't engage? 

It's commenting on blogs isn't it? 

Dang it...