Don't Pick That Up...

This kind of dovetails with yesterday's blog. 

In one of those the Universe thinks you need a working example moments I had a response to a post on Facebook that fit with the #NotAll... theme. 

Now to be perfectly fair the person who had that response, and then a long debate with me over it, I know you are all shocked that I didn't just give the Universe side eye and move along, after that long debate and some more thought about the whole thing they came back and said, You know what? Nevermind. You weren't talking about me.

Which brings me to something I've written about before. 

Don't pick that up. 

If someone lays something at your feet. Or even near your feet and you think, That's not me! Then don't pick it up. Especially if they aren't specifically talking about you. If you think they might be, or they are talking about someone you identify with, but the description they use doesn't apply to you, don't pick it up. 

Even if it seems like they are talking about all people in your group.

If someone says liberals are crazy. And you are liberal. But aren't crazy. Don't pick that up. It's not your label.

Millenials are spoiled brats. But you aren't a spoiled brat. Don't pick that up. It's not yours. 

Gen Xers are nihilists. Well okay, that one is mine and I will pick it up. Kidding, I'm not a nihilist. I just don't believe the same things have value that other people seem to. 

And especially when they aren't being general but specific. Oh I knew someone from Albuquerque once and they were really awful. Don't pick that up. Even if you are from Albuquerque, that's not yours. That's someone else. Just because you are from the same place does not make you the same. 

Hillary Clinton said there were two baskets of people who would vote for Trump, the ones who were disillusioned with the system, who felt they had been left behind and the basket of deplorables. And the MAGAts picked up the deplorable label. Oh she's awful and called us deplorable! No, you picked that up. You called yourself deplorable. There was another basket, you didn't choose that one. 

When you pick it up you tell on yourself a little, in my opinion. 

I've talked about people calling me anti semitic because I don't agree with the state of Israel on their treatment of the Palestinian people. I don't pick that label up. I tell them that's not mine. I might explain to them the difference between not liking a government and not liking a people, but I leave their label on the ground. Especially when it comes from someone who 10 minutes before was talking about a Soros funded conspiracy. Ummm...I think your label fell off and you were trying to give it to me. 

I've talked about how you should handle things like someone saying what you just did is homophobic. Instead of screaming that you aren't homophobic don't pick up that label. Just don't. Instead ask why what you did is homophobic. You might learn something. 

Because you don't have to be sexist, misogynistic, ageist, ableist, racist, homophobic or transphobic to do or say a sexist, misogynistic, ageist, ableist, racist, homophobic or transphobic thing. To do or say those things when you don't know is a mistake. One you can learn from as long as you don't get defensive when someone calls you on it. 

You also might not have done anything of the sort by they can't figure out how to "win" so they throw the label at you and walk away. Don't pick it up. If it's not yours just don't.

So many arguments in life can be avoided if you just don't pick it up. 

If it's not about you, don't make it about you. 

And I know all of that is easier said than done.