Ally...

What makes you an ally?

I'm going to talk specifically about LGBTQIA+ here but you can apply it to anything or anyone you are trying to support. 

What makes you an ally?

You see a lot of ally talk in June. Pride month and all. But a lot of time it seems to be a rainbow post and maybe a Love is Love banner. 

Which is great, for sure. 

Or maybe not great. 

But better than nothing. 

Corporations do performance Pride. Where they change their Facebook or Twitter pictures for the month. Maybe make a post. For sure come up with some Pride merchandise they can sell. If there is money to be made they are supportive of that, Juneteenth is seeing that particular growing pain this year as well. 

Now, there are companies that are super LGBTQIA+ friendly all year round. So I'm not putting everyone on the just stop it bus, but there are a few that you know need to be there. And if the Pride merchandise doesn't have at least a portion of the profits going to an organization working toward rights or protections you can tell it's all capitalism not Pride. 

Then there are individuals. People who claim the ally banner and speak on being an ally. Right up until it gets hard. Or they want to do something that being a true ally would keep them from doing. Then it switches to "freedom of speech" and "agree to disagree" and "can't we all just get along?"

Well...okay then. 

I'll be perfectly honest, I've never had a chicken sandwich, biscuit or waffle fry that was good enough for me to want to put money towards organizations that want to deny gay people their rights. And that's what Hate Chicken does. Oh yeah sure, they have tried to distance themselves as a corporation saying their charitable wing no longer does that but...The man that makes money from them still does. And their corporate charity wing funnels money to more subtle outlets now. Instead of trying to get gay marriage overturned they donate to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Which does not allow "active" gay members. Like, you know, you can be in the group as long as you don't ever date or get married to a same sex partner. So totally different than what they were doing before. Except not. 

I've never read a book that was so foundational to my world that I can ignore the transphobic bullshit out of the author's mouth. I mean, I walked away from the Bible and my entire family's belief system when I was teenager, I'm pretty sure I can do without Harry Potter at this point. 

I have never heard a comedian so funny that I can disregard their homophobic or transphobic bullshit (or anti-Semitic as well in Chappelle's case, how is he not getting even a LITTLE grief over that part?) just to laugh at the rest. Ricky Gervais, not someone I will support. Dave Chappelle, oh hell no. And when other people support them I walk away from that as well. I get it, Chappelle especially has been super generous to other comedians, offering them stage time and help and words of wisdom and....

None of that matters to me. 

Ironically JK Rowling put it well in the Harry Potter books, standing up to your friends when they are doing the wrong things is MUCH harder than standing up to people you don't like. 

I don't need Patton Oswalt or John Mulaney or the fucking Foo Fighters to stop being friends with Chappelle, but I cannot support them giving him a microphone and a stage to spread his hate. Or standing on his stage ignoring what he says about trans people and Jewish people. Again, why does no one mention that part? I mean, if you are a transphobe yourself aren't you at least not anti-Semitic? 

Free speech means all of these people get to say whatever they want to say without the government punishing them. I don't want that to change. I am all for free speech. I like when people actually speak their minds so I know who I want to associate with and who I want to give my money to. 

Being an ally is an activity. Ally is an action word. It's not a title you give yourself and then sit back and say, "Look at me in my rainbow shirt! I'm such a good ally!" 

If you are eating a Chick-fil-a sandwich wearing your Ravenclaw sweatshirt on your way to a Chappelle show you aren't. 

It's not always easy. 

Or wait, actually it is easy. Do it or don't. Easy choice. 

It's not always fun. Or the thing you really wanted to do. But it's important. 

Are you an ally or do you just like rainbows and sparkles?