My Own News?

So sort of tied to my post yesterday about not watching the news, I've been posting less frequently about politics and social issues myself. Part of it is since I'm a little more out of the loop it's a little less top of mind. And I'm also trying to remind myself that I'm not the only one burnt out on all of the stuff going on so I should probably not try to add to it. I've been trying to focus on "Am I making the world better or worse on a daily basis?"

But...

I am me. So sometimes I can't help it. 

But sometimes I talk myself out of it. 

And sometimes I fail at that part.

And that's okay. 

I still have to honor who I am. I still have to pay attention to what is going on in the world. I still feel the need to say something when I disagree. If I think it will make a difference. Or even could make a difference. 

I mean, there are people I don't bother with. There is no point. And there are times when I write out a well thought out careful response and then delete it without posting. And there are times when I write out a complete swear word filled post telling them just exactly what I think about them, their ancestry and their progeny, and then delete that.

And then there are times I walk away and it simmers and sits with me for long enough that I write a general status update about it, or a blog post about it, and deal with it that way. 

Last week was one of those. I had three different people in the span of a day and a half use a phrase (or similar phrases) that drive me nuts. I ignored it from the first one. I know they meant no harm and at some point in time we could talk about it in a different way. Then the second hit and that person is one that cannot be reasoned with so I just left it alone as well. Then the third hit and I hit my breaking point and posted a status. 

Now the interesting thing is that once I did the broad shot post the first person who I saw it from actually commented on the post. Looking for "how should I have said this?" The other two? Nothing. Which could mean that they didn't see it, because Facebook. Or it could mean that they don't agree with my point of view and believe I can't be bothered with. Or it could mean that they posted a long rant with a lot of swear words and then deleted it. 

But it made me wonder. Did I add anything positive to the world or did I just make it bad for the one person who I knew I meant no harm? Did I just add stress to an already stressed out place? Or did I do some good by reminding people to watch their words. To think about what they are saying. And frankly, to get it out of my head so I didn't see the fourth time it was posted and unload on whoever that might have been. 

Because that happens as well.

We all reach our NOT THIS FUCKING THING AGAIN point. Where someone gets the full blast of our frustration who didn't really deserve it. They were just the last drop of water that broke the dam. I'm trying really hard not to do that, but it's hard. And sometimes I still do it. Sometimes I send a text to a friend with the can you believe this fucking thing is here again? and move on that way.

But it's always a balancing act right?

Are we adding worthwhile things to the world or are we just making it worse? 

Are we asking actual questions to learn something or stirring shit? 

What am I? Am I good news or am I just ugly noise?

I'm trying to be as much of a break to you all as I have been taking for myself. More jokes, fewer issues. But...

Just like I am still getting the top stories and sometimes a little more than that, I am still me. And it's not always just sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it's NOT THIS FUCKING THING AGAIN. 

And that's okay. 

It has to be. 

I'm still me.