Religious Thoughts...

This past month I've read two different queer centric stories where the person telling them was religious. And then it happened again today. I was watching a sort of Ted like talk with iFit and the trainer was giving his talk on acceptance (he's gay) and he was religious as well.

It's always startling to me when this happens. First off how prevalent religion still is in our society. It's not this way everywhere. My European friends, for instance, rarely if ever mention god or prayer or even church. It's just not part of the conversation. While here even among people you wouldn't think are religious they are asking for prayers, or hashtagging God is Good or Blessed, or any number of things that are just casual religion is part of their makeup things. 

But secondly one of the big things that started my leaving the church was the stance on homosexuality. I didn't and don't think they are right. I just couldn't reconcile the religious beliefs around it with what I knew to be true. So when I see people who grew up in the same sort of religion as I did, hearing the same messages but they are gay so it was very personal, completely directed AT them, and still came out religious I just have a hard time wrapping my brain around it. 

I guess that's just faith. Deep faith. That they believe so deeply in the foundations of the religion that they are willing to believe that it's just the interpretation of the teachings that got put down in to the bible are wrong. But how do you then sort out the wrong and the right? I mean, that's where I got tripped up. And I have even seen the scholarly articles on how homosexuality isn't actually what was being preached against. And I will trot those out in religious arguments but...

Once you see that you have been taught wrong in one area how do you trust that anything else is right?

And I get it. Being religious can be a huge comfort. It gives you something to lay your problems on. When it all gets too heavy you "give it up to god" and just let him handle it. Well, I can do that through meditation and understanding that I don't have control. I don't have to give it up to god, I just have to accept that I can't fix everything. But I guess that's the extra step that is more difficult. I don't get to say that god is fixing them, and I'm getting out of the way. I just have to deal with the fact that some things can't be fixed.

It also gives you someone who loves you unconditionally. Well sort of. I mean there are a lot of rules to that love. Which brings us back to the whole how are you gay and in the church? Because you are supposed to believe AT THE SAME TIME that god loves you unconditionally but he is going to let you burn in hell if you have sex with your same sex partner. So...you know...what? But again, they've reconciled that part. I just never could.

I don't get it. 

I don't really have anything deep or more to add, I just am puzzled by this and have had a lot of examples lately so it seems like something I'm supposed to be paying attention to. Or it could just be a coincidence. Or it could be, and I think this is it, people are scared right now and when people are scared they get more religious for comfort.

So as we are dealing with the pandemic, and climate change, and economic uncertainty, and what still looks like the brink of another possible Civil War people are looking for comfort. Or reason. Or some way to not feel the mounting pressure. I don't think it helps. Not in the long run. Not really. If you believe you have a better world waiting for you why bother to fix the one you are in right now, right? And if you believe or can be persuaded to believe that what you are doing is ordained by god? Well then you can be convinced to do pretty much anything. 

Everyone wants to be the hero of their own story and it's so much easier to believe you are the hero if you are sure god told you to do something. 

I'm just not there. I was at one point. But once you see the cracks in the foundation it's not a place you want to build your house.