Doctor, Doctor...

I made a quick gratitude post last night for a doctor that actually listens to me. Then I thought, why is that something to be really grateful for? Because I am really grateful for that. But shouldn't that be such a normal thing that we don't even notice it? 

It's not.

Not at all.

I've been really lucky to have had two doctors in a row that are good at listening to what I'm saying and not dismissing me out of hand and I still have to brace myself before I go to the doctor and tell them when something is wrong. 

Because I'm pretty sure I am going to get told there's nothing here. 

Or it's just part of getting older.

Or lose some weight. 

Now, I will admit that even with doctors that listen sometimes the answer I've gotten is you're just getting older and you should lose some weight. It was pretty much a standing joke between Brent and I that Dr. Kwon was going to give me a clean bill of health at my annual and also tell me to lose weight. "Take calcium, vitamin D and lose some weight" was pretty much etched on my chart. Sometimes I lost some weight, sometimes I didn't. I was never going to be as petite as she was and I think that was part of the disconnect there, but she never really made me feel badly (I mean, I always have weight issues) she just would let me know that as I aged weight would be harder to get rid of so I should do it now. Or Now. Or NOW. I didn't. And she was right, it's harder to get rid of and you get more added to it. 

And now there are things that are just age related. Or menopause specifically related. I'm not getting hot flashes for some mystery reason. My skin isn't drying out because I'm not hydrated. My midsection isn't getting thicker because I have an alien growing in my belly. It's because my hormones are totally out of whack as I go through peri and menopause. Though the first year I talked about it Dr. McCormack did run a thyroid test just to make sure that we weren't ignoring something else. Because thyroid issues become more common as you get older as well. So sometimes the answer is you're getting old. 

I had decided last year to get some chronic things looked at again. That it's pretty ridiculous that I've just accepted the first diagnosis on my toe from seven years ago without seeing if there was something else I could do. And the fact that I've dealt with Achilles issues for around 25 years is insane. But I have a high pain threshold and a real problem with being told to suck it up. So I just suck it up on my own. 

Which is insane.

But then Covid hit and the thought of seeing a whole new raft of doctors was not on my hit parade so I didn't say anything at my last physical. 

Then the massive joint pain hit this year. And the food made it better. And that blew my mind. But I still have joint pain. It's just not as much. It's not limiting me anymore. But it's still there. And when the weather was going crazy my joints went crazy. Which did make me feel super old, not going to lie. But clearly there is still something there. 

So I took a deep breath and told my doctor about my elimination diet and how that helped, and what my chronic foot issues were and could we see about doing something there? And she listened. She asked a few questions. She took a ton of notes. She mildly chastised me for not bringing up the issues with my feet before (they both were things I brought with me to her practice, not things that cropped up after I started seeing her) then she did a blood test for Rheumatoid Arthritis, another Thyroid test just incase, ordered a set of x-rays for my hands to see if there is any joint damage and got me a referral to a podiatrist. 

We may not figure out what is going on. Or we may end up landing on you're old. But at least she listened. She took me seriously. She worked toward finding me some answers. 

I'm lucky. 

Not all doctors are like that. 

When we lived in Colorado Springs I saw our primary care doctor ONCE and it wasn't a great visit. His attitude was basically that I was lucky he was making time for me in his day and in his practice. And from that point on I saw the Nurse Practitioner. Which was great, she was wonderful and was the one who figured out how to cure my vertigo, so screw the great and powerful OZ, I'll deal with the woman in front of the curtain, thank you very much. 

I have friends with serious chronic health issues that cannot get doctors to take them seriously. Friends from all over the country so it's not a regional thing. Friends across a wide age spectrum so it's not an age thing. But all female friends so...

Women's health has been discounted for years. Medical testing and drug trials haven't always been done on women so we know that something is safe for men but how does it react to estrogen? How does it work with a different body shape? 

We also have a lot of men in the medical field who have that attitude (and I think it's partly taught in school) that women are looking for attention when they go to the doctor, not actually help. I had a medical corpsman in the Navy ask me if I was feeling unwell because Brent was out to sea. Umm...no, asshole, I'm pretty sure I'm feeling unwell because I have strep, now run the damn throat culture.

So yes, I feel gratitude that I have a doctor that listens. That takes my issues seriously. That is going to work with me to figure out what's going on. And if the answer is "I don't know" or "You're old" then at least I know we got there honestly. 

It's important to have a doctor who listens. It's important to be able to rely on the medical advice you are given. I trust my doctor. But part of why I trust her is because she doesn't discount me.

That's what I'm grateful for.