Pep Talk Time!

This is a pep talk to me from me...I'm just writing it all down so I have a blog as well. I'm a known cheater face, double dipper like that...

So today doing my workout and Rivs was reviewing running form. One of the things that people often send in questions about is what to do with their hands.

Which is actually a common question for a lot of things. If you are standing in front of a crowd giving a lecture, what do you do with your hands? Taking a picture, what do you do with your hands? When you start thinking too much about what to do with your hands it makes you really self conscious of what am I supposed to do with my hands?

Maybe that's why AI has such a hard time with hands. It doesn't know what to do with them either. 

Anyway...

When you are running you want to keep them loosely closed. No blade hands unless you are sprinting, no tightly closed fists. Just loose. Some of the trainers say to imagine holding a rock, or an egg. Rivs uses imagine holding a bird and don't Lenny it. Which makes me laugh, it's dark, but it makes me laugh. 

So then I was thinking that it's good general life advice. I tend to tell people you can't receive things with a closed fist or a closed mind. You have to keep them both open. Think about holding on to anything, if you squeeze too tightly you are going to crush it or it's going to squish out from between your fingers. Keep those hands relaxed. 

And while he was talking about the hand question he said the other question he gets a lot of the time is how to stay motivated when you aren't progressing. He stopped and drew in the dirt for a while to show what we think of as progress and what progress actually ends up looking like most of the time. The what we think progress should be was a straight line angling up, up, and away. What progress most often looks like ended up being a crazy large swirling design. We go forward, we go back, we stay in the same place, we go forward, we go back even behind where we started, we loopback ahead to where we were...on and on. And then he said the thing we all have to hold on to is to trust the process. 

Which he said is actually probably the number one question he and the other trainers get. What does trust the process mean?

He quoted Knox Robinson (who I've written about using as a trainer before) and how he likes to say that consistency is always more important than intensity. That's trusting the process.

One of the other trainers says you showed up today, that's what counts. That's trusting the process.

Trust the process so when you are on that never ending loopback cycle you don't give up. 

I work out at least 5 days a week. I lift weights. I do cardio. I stretch. I work on my core and on my balance. I do the work. 

And right now I can't tell. 

And until I get my thyroid levels balanced I won't even know if that's why I can't tell or if it's something else. And I don't even get my blood tested again for another three weeks. So far the weight gain has slowed. The hoped for weight loss hasn't shown up. But I have a friend (I talked about this before) who has hyperthyroid and her doctor over medicated her throwing her into hypo (where I am) and it took her three months to get back to normal. I have been hypo for longer that she was so it will probably take me longer to even back out. 

But none of that really matters when I step on the scale (once a week right now just so I can get a feel for where I am) and it's either not budged or it's inched up. 

Frustrated doesn't even begin to capture the feeling. 

I know it's bad because I've watched ads on my Facebook and Instagram feeds for the greatest nutritional advice, or newest weight loss technique. And because I've watched some I'm getting bombarded with them. And I've thought...oh maybe I should...

No. No I should not. 

Again, I should not do anything at all until I get my levels reset. Then I should look at where I am and see what I am willing to do. I am post menopausal, I'm on medication that causes weight gain, I've wrecked my metabolism from years of disordered eating. I know I have to be really careful around this. 

Hold on to that progress in a loose fist, stop trying to grab on to it. Trust the process.

This weekend I am going to sort my closet. I'm not getting rid of anything, but I am taking the things that don't fit out. It makes me tense to see clothes and not be able to wear them. Years ago I made the decision that every single thing in my closet must fit and I must like it. No keeping things because I paid X amount for, or they will fit someday, or yeah, that color isn't one I normally wear but for some reason I bought it so it will sit in my closet never being worn until the threads rot...

I don't do that. I want everything I lay a hand on to fit and be something I like.

So that means I need to sort things out. Pack them away until and if the weight comes back off. I'll give it a good amount of time. If the weight never shifts then it will be easy to transport to Goodwill. But at least I won't be staring at it all going...I used to be able to wear that. I also need to buy a few things. I can't keep wearing the same four pieces over and over. It's starting to feel like I'm punishing myself and that's not good. So pack up what doesn't fit, buy a couple new things. Try not to beat myself up over it. 

Right now I have to trust the process. I am doing the work.  I'm consistent. I show up every day. 

I just need to loosen up my fists and keep looping.