Oh, That's It...

I've been a little off kilter all week. Couldn't figure it out. Then today I realized that if Brent had taken the early retirement this would have been his last day at work. 

Oh...that's it. 

We made the best decision for us given the information we had. Both of us are pretty risk averse when it comes to money. When it came down to a coin flip on if the money we had would last and basically he would be taking the sabbatical he had planned and then having to start a job hunt after that it just didn't seem to make sense. 

But...

We both had started to really warm to the idea. Started thinking about things we would/could do if he were available all the time. What would our days look like? And for the first few months there were some projects we were going to throw ourselves into. Then we would be looking at ways to really take advantage of our part of the country without spending a lot. That was going to be a whole new project as well. 

But then...nope. He's going to stay. 

And the financial media doom patrol is pushing out article after article about how badly off Intel is. "Are They Too Big to Fail?" Gosh I hope so...

It's kind of set me back on my heels just a bit. What happens if we made the decision to stay and Intel itself fails? If he's worked for a company for almost 30 years to watch his retirement disappear because at the last moment the company goes under? Holy shit...what if?

So yeah, I've been a little off kilter. 

And the truth is, there is nothing to be done. We made the decision based on what we knew at the time. We made some educated guesses. And now we hope it all turns out okay. 

But for just a little bit I'm going to be a little worried about if we did the right thing. And as we reach that moment where he would have logged out for the last time I feel a little melancholy about the choice we made. That's the way these sorts of things go. 

You make the best choice you can make. Then you wait it out. And part of you always wonders if it was the right choice. But we might not ever really know. There is no space where you make both choices and see which one ends up better. We make the best out of the choice we made. 

So yeah, just a little off kilter this week.