Support Group...

She was starting to think maybe this was a mistake. First off she was busy. Taking time out for this group made the rest of her day even harder to manage. And really her issues weren't the same as theirs. She thought they would be but...

"...busiest night of the year coming up and now I have to deal with this bullshit."

"Language."

"Sorry, Mrs. Goody Two Shoes."

"I've asked you to please call me Gretta."

"Why? I mean that's your name. Why don't you want us to use it?"

"This isn't about me, this is about you. Stop trying to deflect."

"Okay, I'm just saying that I have my busiest night coming and now she wants to have these serious discussions. I don't have time."

"You don't have time? Buddy, you control time. You can bend it, pause it, wrap it, how can you not have time to talk to the Mrs about your relationship?"

"You wouldn't understand, Krampy, you've never had a relationship."

"I've had a lot of relationships. And I can tell you if I was lucky enough to be married to an angel like Mrs. Claus I for sure wouldn't cheat on her."

"Oh god...go cry in your sack of sticks. You have no idea the temptation I am faced with every year."

"Tell me about it."

Every eye turned toward the new speaker, "What? You all haven't ever heard of Furries? I'm huge with them. And a lot of them are really interested in my carrot if you know what I mean."

"Eew. Don't just don't."

"Oh it's fine when the big man over there talks about his candy cane but I'm out of line somehow? This is discriminatory holiday treatment."

The facilitator, Mrs. Goody Two Shoes, realized she was losing control of the group. Again. "You've been quiet. Would you like to share anything today?"

She looked around the room. Would she? "I just thought maybe this would be more about our unique issues than bragging about body counts."

Krampus perked up, "Oh! Are were going to talk about that?"

"Not that kind of body count, Krampy, she's talking about sex partners."

"Oh...well that's disappointing."

"Okay, well what sort of issues were you struggling with?"

"Well, I mean I know my stuff is different. For one I work every night. Not just once a year. No offense to you all, but it's never ending. And then...well just last week I had to call the police, again, after showing up to do my collecting only to find a torture chamber with a psycho pulling out his victims teeth."

"You called the police? And they call me a snitch..."

She looked up on the shelf where the voice came from. "First of all, yeah, I called the police. Secondly there is a big difference between telling the police where a serial killer is hiding and telling him," She pointed at Santa, "that Johnny took an extra cookie from the jar."

"It's still snitching..."

"And that's your thing right? I mean, I have a guess as to how Mrs. Claus found out about his extra cookies."

"Wait...what? YOU told her?"

"Oh come on, Eartha Kitt wrote a song about it! You seriously think she found out from me?"

"Eartha Kitt didn't write it, she just sang it. It was written by Joan Javits and Paul Springer. Oh they were quite the the pair..."

"Okay, back to the Tooth Fairy. What I'm hearing is that you are overwhelmed. Is that right?"

"Yeah, I really am. I haven't have a day off in...well ever. And between the higher cost of collections and the odd serial killer here and there it's just, well it's taking a toll. I was hoping for some tips on how you all manage."

"Have you ever thought about just not doing it one night?"

"Do you know how bad it is when I miss a pick up? And I have missed some. Either the tooth is lost too late in the day to get on my schedule or somebody just forgets to let me know. I can feel the disappointment coming across the world at me the next morning. I can feel the little bit of magic that seeps away from that child. It's a huge responsibility."

"Collecting teeth is a huge responsibility?"

"No, not the collecting, the magic. You all get them when they are very little. From birth you get to be in stories and games and movies. They believe in you and what you do from the start. I come in at the end. When they are first starting to doubt. To think, maybe the world isn't full of magic. Maybe it's all my folks. And if I miss a night? If they wake up and that tooth is still under their pillow? Well, then they know they were right. It's all a sham. And I feel the hit."

"It seems like you are taking on a lot."

"I'm not taking it on. It's already on. You all get the fun and the magic and the wink and nod that as they age they get to help keep you alive for their younger siblings. I get to introduce them to the wonderful world of commerce. You give me your literal body parts and I'll leave you a small token. This is your life. Blood, sweat and tears for a few dollars every week. And sometimes you'll do your part and get screwed out of the reward part. It's a lot. It's too much."

"Well, maybe that's what you need to change? You have a job. You do your job. The rest isn't yours to bear. Yes, we all have to face when they lose the magic, but that's not on you. You didn't do it. It's the way the world works. And there are always those that continue to believe. I mean, not to encourage them, but Santa and the Easter Bunny find a lot of adults who really believe." 

"I'm not sure if I should thank you or be really mad about that image."

"Yeah, sorry."

"As far as time off goes, maybe you can work with them to give you some extra time. Like on Easter and Christmas Eve you could all work together to pause your collections? It's not much, but it's something. Maybe even see if your time adjusting powers can be used to freeze everyone else while you take a little break? Is that a thing you could do?"

She thought about it. "I don't know. I haven't considered it. But that could be an option. I mean, if they can use it for...well what they do then maybe?"

"Great. That's all we can do, right? Is consider new ideas. Anyone else have something they want to talk about today?"

"Can we get back to that body count thing?"

"Krampy!"