A friend of mine posted one of those feel good while shaming you stories the other day. You know the ones, look at how this little act of decency meant all the world to someone now DO BETTER YOU GREMLINS!
And it was a sweet story. One of those on the theme of overwhelmed mom on a flight with way too many kids and a stranger holding her baby to help out. Which I always think, yeah but really? I mean I have held other people's kids, and entertained other people's kids in grocery store lines, and just last night Brent spent at least half of the hockey game playing peek-a-boo with the baby in the row in front of us...but...do you really let a stranger take your baby a few rows away on an airplane? So I'm always skeptical of the writers of those stories, because it's always the heroes never the overwhelmed mom who writes them. And there's always a picture of a chubby baby leg and a lap. Like, you took the picture to make sure when you wrote your oh look what a hero I am story you'd be ready.
So yeah, you can see I go into these stories a little primed for them to be nice moral tales but not necessarily factually true. (Freaking Jill man... let me know if you need a refresher on who she is and I'll link later)
But this one I was reading it and it was like familiar music, you know the tune, smooth lovely, then CLANG broken piano key, then back to familiar tune. See, it was the standard, overwhelmed mom, stranger going to help, shaming everyone else story, but she added some pre-conversations in there. Where she was talking to the older gentleman who was sighing loudly and muttering about why she didn't do something about her unruly children, as older gentlemen being pitched as the villian of the story are wont to do and the "hero" tells him to layoff, she's clearly overwhelmed and besides in today's day and age she's probably afraid to do anything incase someone reports her CLANG, so I will selflessly go and help.
What? You are posting the feel good story with a little remember the good old days when she could have just beat them so they would behave? What the fuck was that?
Now I didn't comment under the story WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? Because the overall message was a good one. Help people. When you see someone struggling, help them. But oh holy shit it was hard not to.
Part of why I didn't is that a large contingent of my friend base is neurodivergent with various levels of spiciness and so I've had plenty of times where I've written an update where I wanted to make a certain point and there was some sort of CLANG moment (never an it's okay to beat your kids in the privacy of your own home CLANG but something) and someone will comment on it derailing the whole thing. And depending on how important the message I wanted to get across was to me will determine how much it bugs me.
Usually not much at all. And in the case that I really did want to make a certain point I will say, "hey, yeah, I get what you are saying but THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT!" or you know, something along those lines, but generally nicer. Generally. Sometimes not.
I know what it's like to see something and REALLY feel like you have to say something about it. And not everyone has a blog that they can turn to in times like that. And not everyone has the pause button as well. That moment where you stop and think, Okay, but wait...is this the right time to make this point or will it undermine the main point which is super important?
I have friends all along that continuum. The ones that HAVE to make their point right now. The ones that have to make their point right now but understand that publically isn't the place so they send you a text. The ones that let it seeth for a bit and come back a few weeks later with an all caps explosion. And the ones that either didn't ever notice the CLANG or didn't think it was that big of deal. Those ones are considered the neurotypical ones in the real world but the divergent ones in my life, oddly enough.
Because I have those friends it keeps me from being that friend. Usually. Not always. Sometimes I just can't get away with sending a text to someone else saying CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT or waiting to write a blog all about CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT and I just have to post I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT right then and there. Long stretches of insomnia and lack of caffeine often predict the level of "shit believing" posting that happens. But I do try to not destroy your really well meaning post with the CLANG moment.
So really, this was a really long blog just to point out that I should get points and gold star for the things I do not say instead of grief for all of the times I go off...
Yay me.
CLANG!
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