Side Trip (holder title)

"Hey, is this seat taken?"

"Yeah, actually, I'm waiting for a friend... and yet you are already sitting down."

"Your 'friend' is late and I'm here so how about I buy you a drink?"

"Umm....I have one." 

"Well how about another one? You probably aren't used to men buying you drinks but it's customary to say okay."

"What?"

"I mean, you're almost cute, but..."

"Almost cute?"

"Yeah, I mean if it weren't for like this..." He waved his vaguely over his nose.

"My nose? You think there is something wrong with my nose?"

"Not necessarily wrong but....you know."

"Oh my god."

"Yeah, you get it."

"No, I mean, you're negging me aren't you?"

"What? No. I mean I don't even know what that means."

"No...you are totally negging me. I had no idea that was actually a thing real people did. I thought it was like a joke. Like something that was made up online somewhere and the news picked it up as real. Like, OH my gosh, Let's pretend that Andrew Tate is someone to emulate! Just a goof."

"Hey, he has some really good points."

"OH MY GOD! You actually like Andrew Tate as well! How about Jordan Peterson?"

"Look..."

"Wow, I mean, I feel like I should get a picture with you just to show my friends that you were real."

"You don't have to be such a bitch. You could just say you're a lesbian and leave it at that."

"Oh, okay, now we are into the I have to be a bitch or a lesbian if I don't fall for your bullshit. And I get it, rejection is hard. It makes you really sad right? And you are an alpha male who doesn't have feelings so this is really confusing for you."

"Dyke."

"Okay, let me clear that up for you. I'm not actually a lesbian. I'm bi. Which means that I do date men, just not men like you. And to date a man like you all of the other men in the world would have to be gone and because I'm bi all of the women as well. So your odds are not strong."

"Bitch. I'm out of here!"

"Okay, bye. I'll try not to be too upset about it...oh wait...yeah, over it already."

The slow clap started from the woman on her right.

"Nicely done. And feel free to use, 'and everyone clapped for me' when you tell this story later."

"Dudes like that are just...."

"So fun to take down? Yeah. Would you like another drink? I mean I feel like you deserve one after that."

"No, thank you. I really am meeting a friend and I don't want to be two drinks in when she shows up."

"Totally understand. Well thank you for the entertainment. It was amazing."

"You're welcome. Glad to provide."

"I'm Gloria, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jade."