Two?

Oh my...

Just looked at my output here for the year so far and I've written a grand total of two short story pieces.

Two.

So yeah...

No goals means nothing pushing me to sit and write. I'm still thinking it's a good thing. I mean I won't really know what I want to do until I spend time doing it, or not doing it. I think. At least that was the plan.

Of course I worry when the voices in my head are quiet. It's not usually a harbinger of good things. But I've been busy this year thinking about other things. We had our big Disney trip (which I will write about soon, I was just sick last week when we came back and am finally feeling well enough to sit in a different place than on the couch) And we are also living through some really wacky times. I mean the democratic primary is finally taking shape and we are down to two contenders basically (Wonder Twins activate in the shape of What the fuck? Really? A Complete lack of imagination? I'm not sure that's what I would have gone with...) and we have a real live pandemic on our hands. Which is being treated with the seriousness it deserves by the President and not at all being shunted off as some sort of political thing...

So anyway...fiction...fiction...fiction...

I do have a bit of an idea but it's absolutely based in part on something horrible a friend is going through right now so I'm trying to decide if I just write it and put it in the "don't publish this" folder. We will see...

No goals also did free me up to walk away from the Econ book/Lessons I had picked up. It seemed like a good idea. It was by a radio show I listen to that I always find really interesting. I did do the Paul Krugman Masterclass and found it really interesting. But...nope. It wasn't for me. But if I had baked it into a goal for the year I would have slogged through and finished it. Which maybe would be a good thing? But I'm going with not. Because, guys, it was so boring. And hard. The terms and the curves and the spreadsheets and the quizzes that didn't make sense and...well yeah. I struggled with it for awhile before realizing that I could just drop it. No star at risk. No tally marker not made.

Cool.

But then again I just watched a Ted Talk today that basically said my entire life philosophy of doing what I feel like doing is crap. That I will never feel like doing anything that is actually worth something because of inertia. And well...

Hmmm...

I get that.

I totally do. Change is hard. Nobody likes change. We fight against it with everything we've got. But it can be really good for us. So...

Interesting. Maybe I really need to look into that a lot more. Maybe I need some change and I'm just kidding myself that living my life the way I do is really best.

Or it could be that Brent was right and I won't make it to summer without reinstating goals because it makes me feel twitchy not to be working toward something.

I guess we'll see.

But for now...

Two.

I've written two fiction pieces and that is starting to really bug me. Not because I have a goal I should be reaching but because I'm a genius and I feel like I'm really depriving you all of something great.

Okay, no it's because even without a goal in mind two seems like not enough.

BUT I'm totally NOT setting goals this year, guys, I mean it!

(stop laughing, Brent!)