Favorite Things...

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...who the hell lists those things as favorite things?"

"What?"

"The song, she talks about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens as being some of her favorite things. Don't those seem like lame favorites? I mean if there are raindrops on the roses then it's, you know, raining and that's that for being outside. And whiskers on kittens? Like some cats don't have whiskers? All kittens have whiskers so why is that a favorite? Oh I like bad weather and animal hair...these are my favorite things."

"Where in the world did all of this come from?"

"I've just been thinking about it. Like actually paying attention to the lyrics. Warm woolen mittens, that's another one. Wool mittens are the lamest. Anyone who ever lived in a snowy place can tell you that. You can't make snowballs with them because the snow just sticks to the mitten. They get all wet and cold if you are in the snow at all. Wool mittens are the worst. And brown paper packages tied up with string? Come on. That's just boring. How about glitter wrapping paper with multicolored bows? That I'd believe."

"Wow. This is really bugging you isn't it?"

"It is. I think we've given it a pass for way too long. Just because Julie Andrews is a goddess that's no excuse to ignore dumb lyrics."

"Maybe the things that are favorites are supposed to be really simple. You know happiness is where you find it sort of thing?"

"I'm fine with enjoy the simple things, but the song isn't Happy in the Plain, it's My Favorite Things. She literally lists winter that melts into spring as a favorite thing. Do you know what happens when winter melts into spring? Mud. Mud is one of her favorite things. Come on!"

"I really think you are taking this too personal. Maybe find a different song to think about?"

"Like what? That stupid George Michael one where he talks about giving someone his heart and the next day that person gives it away? How in the world is he giving your heart to someone else? That's not a thing that can happen. You can't regift a heart."

"I think he means that he thought it was more of a relationship than it was."

"Sure, that's what he means, but that's not what he SAYS."

"So you are only in favor of literal song lyrics is that it?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Kind of takes the poetry out of things."

"Poetry? Like turning the plural of hippopotamus to hippopotamuses?"

"Well, that's a kid's song. It's just supposed to be fun."

"It is supposed to be, but it's not. It's just annoying. Nobody really wants a hippopotamus for Christmas. Where would you even keep it?"

"She's a kid. Kids don't think of those things. You can't be mad that a kid is not thinking logically."

"A kid didn't write that song. An adult wrote that song thinking what would a goofy kid want? They shouldn't be encouraging kids asking for things they can't ever have."

"So maybe there should be a song out there that encourages kids to ask for easier things?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

"Like warm woolen mittens or brown paper packages tied up with string?"