Age Before Beauty...

"You look good for your age."

I hear that a lot. 

And what it translates to is "You look younger than you are."

And I do. Genetics. My parents both looked younger than they were for their entire lives. I started hearing it in my 30s and it really took off in my 40s. Which lets me know that the only really acceptable age is somewhere in your 20s.

Or at least that's our timeline for what we consider beautiful. Once you hit your 30s and 40s and 50s and beyond you no longer look good, you look good for your age. 

Which is nonsense.

I have so many gorgeous friends who are my age and older. And none of them look like they are in their 20s. More than a few have embraced their gray hair after the pandemic sort of forced it on them. We all have skin that looks a little more lived in. A few wrinkles around the eyes, some lines on the forehead. And I'm going to tell you right now that one of the things I used to love about my mother's looks was her skin. And now, as I age and I see it happening, I see that the thing I like about it was her aging. Her cheeks always looked soft to me. Not just like silky smooth skin soft, but like they would be like feather pillows. Like marshmallow fluff. Like clouds.

When you are younger your skin is tight. Those collagen bonds are firm. Super good structure. As you age that all sort of lets good. Cosmetic companies and plastic surgeons will let us know they can fix our jowls for us. But man, I used to love the soft look to my mother's face. 

I'd like to translate that to love for my own. But I hear and see the ads I've watched all my life. I hear and see the "you look good for your age" comments. I hear and see that feeling that I'm not getting better, I'm getting older. 

Which is such bullshit. 

I mean I look good. 

Period. 

I look good because the crinkles around my eyes match my smile. Full face smile. Even in a mask people can tell I'm smiling at them.

I look good because I know who I am. 

That's huge. And that's something that comes with age, not in spite of it. 

Very few of us are blessed with confidence in our 20s. We don't hit that full stride until we start sloughing off some of the bits that aren't us that I talked about. As we crystalize into ourselves a little more. You have to know who you are before you can be comfortable with it. 

I will never get tired of being told I look young. But part of that is that I want to disrupt what people think of when they think of aging. What did you think 53 looked like that you think I don't match? Because I am 53 so clearly this is what it looks like. I want people to rethink their beliefs. 

All of the time about everything. 

This just adds to it. 

My friends who are in their 50s look good because they are who they always wanted to be, and if they aren't they have figured out that they didn't really want to be that person after all. 

We look good.

Our age isn't a hindrance it's a bonus. 

Maybe we should start telling 20 year olds that they look good for their age. That we can't wait to see what they mature into. How great they will eventually be. 

Nah...at 20 most of us couldn't have heard that without spiraling into waves of self doubt. 

So yes, I look good for my age. I look good for your age. I look good. 

And so do you.