December!

And the final first of the month blog.

I knew as soon as I noticed I had posted on the first for like 6 months in a row that it was going to become a thing I had to finish out. 

I know a lot of people had issues with the show Big Bang Theory, but it had one of the best descriptions of compulsive behavior that I've ever heard. Or at least one of the closest to what it feels like in my head. Sheldon described his compulsion to do something in a certain way like wearing an itchy sweater. You can fight against scratching, but it just gets worse and worse. It builds until you have to rip the sweater off and scratch all over. Or you can just scratch the itch right away and be done with it. 

When I have something that I really feel the need to do it's like that. But an itch in my head instead. For instance sitting in a friend's living room and there is this little mosquito buzz in the back of my brain saying, "don't you really want to touch those curtains? I mean look at them...they look like they could be really soft but at the same time there is some sort of bumpy texture there. You'll never know if you don't touch them." and the mid part of my brain is arguing, "you can't touch other people's curtains. That's just weird. How do you even explain that you just need to feel the cloth to see what the texture is? You can't tell them, my fingers are itching and I need to touch those. They will think you have a fungus or something." and another part is like, "Just casually walk by them and act like you are looking out the window. Easy. Why do I always have to be the one to figure this stuff out." while the whole time the front part of my brain is trying to hold on to a conversation thread. Now imagine that if it's someone's hair. 

I spend a lot of time with my hands clasped together. 

But now the first of the month itch is scratched!

And you all understand why I am loath to let a goal slide unchecked. 

And possibly why I set so many random ones for myself. Better to be in control over what I'm obsessing about than have my random brain select the items. 

What does December look like?

Well, busy. Which is a weird feeling after having almost two years of just lovely slow pace (for me, Brent didn't really get that). Brent's work schedule is insane. Yesterday his first meeting was a 6 AM and his last started at 7:30 PM. I keep waiting for it to slow down for the holiday lull but I think it really will be only the two days he got at Thanksgiving and a couple days at Christmas. Maybe. Since Christmas is over the weekend this year I'm not actually sure if he'll get a break or not.  But on top of his crazy work hours we've got hockey, soccer and football games to enjoy. I've got a dentist visit and some things I need to go across town to pick up, trying to get the motivation to drive 40 minutes just to run an errand is getting harder and harder as I've adjusted to pandemic bring it to my door life! We've got house move things to keep working towards. It's just ramping up for the next few months and December is leading the way.

We aren't doing anything for Christmas really. Taking another year off from decorating as Tig still chews on EVERYTHING in site. I'm hoping that one more year will cure him of this for the most part but not really sure. We've never had a cat that chews like he does. We think he was weaned way too early and we are reaping the neurotic rewards from that. 

We've also decided to skip Christmas gifts again. I think we are probably done with exchanging them all together. We're all adults now and if we want something we just buy it for ourselves. What we had been doing in the years leading up to stopping was putting things on a wish list. But that's just me buying something for myself with your money so really why? We enjoy spending time together and will continue to do that, taking a vacation as a family of three here and there as well. It's just more enjoyable I think. Though there is a feeling that we should be opening presents on Christmas morning just because it's what people do. A good lesson in habits and how even when you know they don't serve you well you have a hard time breaking them.

December will also be a big writing push for me. I need to get 10 blogs up, 6 of them need to be fiction. I also need to figure out those submissions. I might give myself a moment of grace and turn the one non-contest submission into a contest submission but have to do two or something? It's easier to find contests than it is open submissions and since I let it slide I need something to make it seem balanced. Still working out how to scratch that itch, but it's only the 1st so I have a few days. 

But speaking of a busy December I need to get going on the day's chores. 

AND...I can post a bitching status about it all later because Positive Posts November is DONE!

Merry Cranky Christmas Postings to Us All!