Here We Go!

Last one third of the year! Can you believe it? We are 2/3 of the way through 2019. And we are in that downhill slope part of the year. Back to school, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and they all bleed into each other so it feels like it's just one long ride to New Year's Eve.

I've made the decision (already) that next year is going to be a goal free year. I'm just not setting any and I will see how it goes. The first time I mentioned it to Brent I said I'm not going to do any goals next year. (then I paused in thought for a few seconds) Maybe with no goals to aim for I'll take the time to learn how to play the guitar. He laughed. And it was funny. I mean, that's a goal right? If I decide to do it. Which I haven't yet, but I am considering it.

And thinking of writing a book. Like, if I have no blog goals, and no short fiction goals, and no submission goals, and no reading goals then maybe it's time to see if I can make a book happen. Not even a good book, but just a book. Start, middle, end.

Which is totally a goal right?

But no goals next year in the writing a book, learning how to play guitar year.

And I'm not doing my calendar and star system. Because no goals. But I do want to find a little daily minder thing that I can keep notes and a to do list on. Because even without goals there are things that have to get done and writing them down just makes that easier.

So no goals, just writing a book, learning how to play guitar, a cool notebook for daily minders.

And as I've had this discussion with Brent he knows that I'm not feeling overly motivated right now by all of my goals, and goal systems. So last night as I pulled out my calendar to mark yesterday's done things, and to fill out some benchmarks for the week he suggested that I just stop now. If I already know they aren't serving me the way they were a few years ago I can always just stop.

I'm pretty sure I gasped.

You have to be kidding, right? Just because I'm not doing goals next year in the book writing, guitar playing, daily minders year, doesn't mean I can just abandon this year's goals just like that! That would be... well... uncomfortable.

And it really would be. I would feel like I had left the water running and walked out of the house. Or left the curling iron plugged in near the face towel. Or put my shoes on the wrong feet. Just a disaster waiting to happen.

I know, it's weird. But once I've started something, once I've made a commitment to finishing something there has to be a really really strong reason for me to abandon it. Even games I've made up for myself to play.

I've talked about it with the monthly recaps. That even though I've given up on losing weight, I've not given up on tracking it as part of my goals. I know it's not likely to happen. I know I need to just keep focusing on the fitness aspect of it so I don't make myself nuts, but I still will track it until the end of the year, because I said that I would. I'm just prepared to fail at that one.

I don't have to be successful at all of my goals, I just have to work towards them. Or acknowledge that I'm not and why. I'm not planning on losing those ten pounds this year because what I would need to do to make that happen isn't really all that healthy for me. So I won't. But I will count it as a missed goal. Because it is. Good reason. Still a miss.

And honestly, it was a good one to give up and I'm glad I gave it up a few months ago before Mom died. Stress eating has made it even more out of reach, but it would be very easy to go the other direction and just stop eating. My crazy in that area swings both ways and the past week I could feel it teetering on the edge. If I was still aiming for that weight loss goal, the first blush of eating soft comfort foods would have been quickly replaced with not eating anything. Always pay attention to your own crazy and what triggers it. And let people around you help you with that. That's why I always tell everyone when I'm starting a diet. HEY WATCH ME PLEASE!

So here were are. Four more months to go. I've got books to read (finally caught up to my goal there and then started a REALLY long book, whoops!), blogs to write, short fiction to write, a submission to do, some projects to complete, weight to not do a damn thing about...What about you? Are you where you want to be? Have you already started your 2020 Vision? (That joke is going to be used A LOT) Are you ready? Or are you like me and planning a no goal year?

I mean it. No goals.

Really...

Stop laughing.