I have always had trouble sleeping. If you know me you know that about me. It's so much a part of who I am that I didn't realize it was odd until I was in high school. Like I legit thought that everyone had a hard time falling asleep and that everyone woke up for hours in the middle of the night. When I first heard that there were people that would go right to sleep and not wake up again until morning I was shocked. Thought that there was something wrong with them!
The few times in my life where I've slept well have been amazing. Just often enough for me to chase that high...low? The high of being able to stay low? Something like that...
But yeah, I'd love to sleep better. Though I manage with less sleep than most and I do think that my body is designed that way. And I don't really break down unless I'm in a complete insomnia stretch where there is little (an hour or two a night) to no sleep. I can do that and handle that for about three days. Generally it happens when I'm manic and so it balances out. The manic energy overrides the sleep need and I just keep going. But if it hits when I'm in a "normal" space or heaven forfend a lull it's miserable. By day three I'm in tears over everything.
But that's rare. Usually it's just I'm a little tired and I would like some more sleep.
I made a mistake the last time I was in a stretch of not enough sleep. It was one of those bad stretches where I didn't have a false bump of energy coming in to balance out the lack of sleep. I was just exhausted and it was taking its toll. And so the mistake happened.
I clicked on an ad for a sleep aid. Then clicked through to their website to read what the ingredients were and if it was worth trying.
I know. But I was tired and not thinking clearly as to the consequences.
So now I have at least a dozen sleep aid ads in all of my feeds. Facebook, Instagram, Google, Threads, over and over and over again. THC gummies, mushroom tea, ashwagandha, valerian root, melatonin, magnesium, tart cherry, over and over and over again.
And I've tried most of them. Melatonin is no good. (It's actually not really good for anyone in the way that they market it, maybe for jet lag, but otherwise your body makes its own, and you'd be better off heading outside first thing in the morning for a dose of natural light to start your own system up) Valerian is a no way from me. (I get really odd dreams while taking it, and it doesn't work for staying asleep all night, just deep sleep for a few hours with really odd dreams then laying awake for hours wondering what the fuck I just dreamt) Ashwagandha I'm allergic to. I tried CBD drops before and they did nothing and I don't really think adding in the hallucinogenic part is a good idea. (I've never smoked pot or taken pot gummies, it's just not a thing I think is a good idea with the way my brain chemistry is already) I've tried the tart cherry and it did nothing but make my teeth feel fuzzy. So that leaves the mushroom and magnesium.
And I just don't think that's the answer. But maybe?
If I could find one that didn't have all of the other pieces as well.
Because that's a big thing with sleep aids, they throw it all in there hoping one of them will work for you.
And do not click through an ad to see if it does have all of those ingredients but then you will be just like me and inundated with nothing but ads for gummies, teas and pill.
It's exhausting.
But not in a good way that helps you get to sleep.
So what does work? As odd as it sounds I do have suggestions for anyone who has problems sleeping.
Get a good sleep routine established and try your best to stick with it.
We drink some tea an hour or so before bed. A warm cup of tea signals to my body that it's time to head to bed. A warm shower or bath does the same thing if you like doing that in the evening. For me the tea works because a bath takes too long and I don't want to get my hair wet in the shower.
So a warm cup of tea
Brush teeth, wash face, go pee, all that bedtime maintenance stuff
I read for a bit. I know that a lot of sleep experts will tell you not to read in bed. Or watch TV in bed. That the bed is only for sleep and sex and I've tried that as well, but it doesn't work for me. What works for me is to read a bit to wind down. Usually only for 15 or 20 minutes maximum.
Then I go to sleep.
That's the routine. Every night. The only thing that varies is the starting time for the routine. I'd really prefer to be in bed by 9:15 and asleep by 9:45 every night. The hope is that I sleep most of the night and so clock as close to 8 hours of sleep as I can. It doesn't usually happen for me, but Brent gets close that way and he functions best on 7-8 hours so it's a good compromise time. That doesn't always work since we have hockey games and soccer matches and such that keep us out later than that at times, but I function better if I stick with the 9:15 in bed time frame.
I'm waking up at least 3 times over night. If I'm lucky I get back to sleep right away. If not I pick up my book and read until I'm sleepy again. Again, the experts will tell you to get out of bed, but if I get out of bed it's game over. I am awake for the rest of the night. The idea of getting out of bed and doing some quiet activity until I get sleepy again is foreign to me. Once my feet hit the floor my brain is fully on and engaged and I will read or listen to music or color or whatever quiet activity I am trying out until the sun comes up and Brent starts his day.
And I've also mastered lying in bed perfect still and almost asleep. It works for me as an almost good enough solution to sleeping. If I can shut everything down, quiet my mind as much as possible, keep my body as still as possible, it's close to sleep. Again, the experts will tell you that you should never do that. That if you cannot sleep you should get up. But if you have chronic insomnia sometimes that's as good as you are going to get so you should take it. Rest if you cannot sleep.
I never pick up my phone overnight. I have it on do not disturb from 9PM until 7AM (we usually get up at 6 but if we're lucky and can sleep in until 7 I don't want a text ruining that). There are only a few people on my override the DND list and I cut it even further once our parents all died. There are very few problems that cannot wait until the morning to deal with. You'll handle them better with a full night's sleep anyway. If you do pick up your phone just say good morning and get out of bed.
The blue light tells your brain it's time to be awake. All of your social media accounts give you something to focus on that isn't calming. It's just not a good idea. Leave it on DND, or leave it in another room if you have to. It's just not good for sleeping.
Comfortable bed, good room temperature (I like it close to chilly without becoming freezing), comfy night clothes or no clothes if that's better for you. White noise or ear plugs if you want. We have blackout curtains (thanks to Dana and honestly I cannot believe we didn't have them before), or an eye mask would work. And no pets.
Yeah, that last one isn't for us anymore, but it really does help your sleep if you don't have someone waking you up for a walk, or to be let outside, or to be fed, or because they just miss you so much while you are asleep (Tig).
But handle the things you can. Set yourself up the best way for you to get the best night's sleep.
And NEVER, EVER, no matter how tired you are, click the sleep aid ads.
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