Nourishment...

I think I have it. 

I think I have what was dancing around the edges of my goals/no goals conundrum. I think I was missing what it was really all about.

Nourishment. 

I want to do things that nourish me. Mind, body and soul. 

When we were in Hawaii I had at least two plates of fresh fruit every day. At least. It's one of the best parts of going there. They have some of my favorite fruits just ripe and ready to eat. Papaya and every variety of the lychee family you can imagine. It's like summertime in Oregon when I eat berries all day every day. 

That sweet that I crave but in a way that is really good for me. 

I read voraciously because it nourishes me. It expands my mind as I learn new things and it expands my empathy as I read about other people and their experiences. It also fills my tank so I'm ready to sit down and write my own pieces. 

I work out because it nourishes me. It enables me to move freely. To be active in my daily life. It also regulates my mood. I need to work out to manage my own mental health. To physically and mentally feel prepared to face the world and experience it. 

Match those things with the goals I set. 

I am seeking nourishment in 2024. I want to fill my tank with all of the things I enjoy. I want to feel at ease in my spaces (that's where the cleaning comes in) I want to fill my mind with good books, good articles, good people doing good things.

I don't want to focus on those that wish to starve me. Starve us. The book banners, the LGBTQIA+ haters, the ones who want to use their beliefs to rule over everyone else.

The stingy and the greedy. Those that feel they need more when so many have nothing. I don't want to put my energy toward them, they have enough. 

But I will. In a way. I will fill myself with what I need, to be able to speak out against them. To put what resources I have in a direction that offsets the greed and the moreness of their fucked up lives. And I will watch to make sure that I continue to nourish myself so I have what I need to keep pointing out that they are overfed yet undernourished. Don't be like them. 

When I set out in the year not having any goals, when I wanted it to be a year of being not doing, it was all the same things. But I need that star to reach for. That gold star nourishes the kid in me who didn't get them and craved them. She's still there. But now it's up to me to cover her in stardust and fill her with light. I'll nourish that part of me so that I can reflect it back out to everyone else. 

Don't be confused, that 16 year old who thought the world should burn is still there too. And I do hand her the matches when I feel like what the world needs isn't the reflection of stardust but a good old fashioned burn it to the ground moment.... That nourishes me as well. Fire nourishes the forest. My anger feeds that part of my own soul that fights for the underdog. 

Goodness and light with a little go fuck yourself, remember?

It's a year of nourishment. 

Food
Fitness
Mental 
Physical
Stars
Matches

Sounds about right to me.