I've been doing a series with Trevor Moawad on iFit this month. It is their November challenge series and on completion they made a donation to the American Cancer Society.
He was a motivational speaker, a mental conditioning coach. He partnered with Russell Wilson to form a company that dedicated itself to making people stronger mentally to achieve great things.
It was not my favorite series.
I mean, I love a lot of that sort of thing, don't get me wrong. I'm one of the few people who really loved the key note speakers at KFC conferences. I've read a ton of self help and motivational books and blogs. I do really believe that we can improve a lot in our lives just by getting our minds right.
But he just didn't do it for me. There were a few things that he firmly held forth as truth that I firmly believe are bullshit. So there was that. And it was all mostly sports focused so there was that as well. But every work out I did I tried to pull out at least one thing I could use. And for the most part I did. Even if his overall spiel wasn't for me and I won't be running out and buying his books I still got something out of it.
And I also was struck by something else. His regrets. They leaked through a lot in this series. I mean, understandable really. No matter how positive he was trying to be he was two years into a battle with cancer and living alone during a pandemic. He actually died in September. I imagine there was a little bit of conversation on releasing the series or not and that's how the donation the ACS came into play.
Side tangent:
That's actually something that I got out of every single workout. How difficult they must have been. He was incredibly thin and haggard looking. He would pause on the hikes quite often to point out a view, or just take a moment to catch his breath. They must have been incredibly physically taxing. And he still did them. He was out there trying to make a difference until the day he died. That's pretty amazing.
But then there were those regrets...
His biggest one was his divorce. He talked about not doing what he should have done. He talked about being insecure (she was a model). He talked about decisions that he wished he had made. They were divorced in 2015 and 6 years later he was still talking about it as if it had just happened. Now, the cynic in me wondered if he really regretted losing the marriage or if he regretted how isolated he was now during the pandemic and his cancer battle. Did he miss her or did he hate being alone? If he were healthy and there weren't a pandemic would he be fine with the choices he made?
Like I said, I'm a cynic.
But it did make me think about what we really want out of life. And how that changes all of the time depending on other circumstances. He made the choices in his marriage to not be there. To work crazy hours. To put his career ahead of their life. And those choices meant she left. At the time he was making those choices I bet they seemed really reasonable and good to him. It wasn't until later that he saw what the consequences were. And he had no way of knowing what the future was going to bring. That he was going to be diagnosed with cancer. That there was going to be a pandemic and the only way to try and ensure he didn't get infected would be to move away from everyone and live in solitude. That it wasn't going to make a difference in the end because cancer is a bastard.
So what do you do with that?
I mean you are constantly making choices and decisions about your life and what you think you want in the future without actually knowing what the future is going to bring.
Look at our house search. Five years ago we thought we wanted to downsize and move into a small place with only a couple of rooms. Possibly a condo downtown. Then the pandemic came and we realized that we need more than a few rooms. Working and living and entertaining ourselves all from home meant we needed space. And we didn't want a condo downtown because if everything shuts down there is no reason to be there. And riding in an elevator when you aren't sure who was there before you? Forget about it.
We also didn't realize five years ago that my arthritis was going to become an issue. And it's not yet. Not really. But it's definitely letting me know that it very well could become an issue. That stairs (three levels in our current place) could become daunting. So we shifted what we looked for.
We bought a one level place with what we think will be enough space, though honestly, we both might have gone for even more if we could have found the right place. But who knows if in five years we will think it was actually the right idea?
I mean 20 years ago when we bought this place we thought getting a townhouse was a great idea. No yard to take care of, perfect! It took us just a little bit of time to realize that we really would like our own yard. And fewer neighbors. Or at least fewer neighbors parking in front of our house. We also bought it for the schools and then sent our kid to magnet schools that only needed us to be in this district, not in this neighborhood.
But when we bought this place we didn't know all of that. We made the decision we thought was best for us at the time.
Which is what I really took away from his talks.
Make good choices for where you are and where you think you want to go. Start today on improving your situation. If you want to get fit, put on your shoes and get moving. If you want to eat better, buy better foods and toss out the junk. If you want your relationships to be stronger, start working on them right now. What do you think you want? Work toward that. If it ends up that it isn't actually what you want then do something else. But keep moving. Keep trying. And as your circumstances change it's okay to change what you are working toward. But pay attention to what is happening so you don't end up in 10 years with a booming company, tight abs, and a really lonely house because everyone who you thought would be there when you were ready to pay attention to them got tired of waiting for you to pay attention to them.
Best soundbites:
In a year from today don't wish you had started today.
You don't have to be sick to get better.
I really liked those two.
And I'm glad I'm done with his series.
Donation made to American Cancer Society.
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