Checking In...

Thought I'd give an August update.

So far I've posted the I CAN DO IT! RAH! RAH! August blog. The one where I was going to push through and make August lovely through sheer force of will. 

Then there was the FINE, FUCK YOU TOO! August blog. The one where I realized that I am not ready to push through and make August lovely just yet. 

So this is the one week later where are we now August blog?

Well, here's a hint...

This morning Brent came upstairs as I was getting ready to go out and run a couple of errands and said, "Either the soap or shampoo you are using right now the scent really carries and I can tell when you are in the shower."

I said, "It the lemon scented soap I have that I use in August because I feel like citrus is a happy fragrance and August should be happy." 

Brent, raised his eyebrows and said, "And how is that working for you?" dripping with incredulity. 

"About how every fucking thing is working right now. OR maybe it's working really well and we would hate to see how I would be if I wasn't using happy fucking soap?"

So...

Yeah.

August still just sucks.

Is there a word for when you aren't depressed but just low level mad at everything? Pissedesion? Crankypantsitis? Backthefuckupy? I think that's it. I'm feeling very backthefuckupy. Just not a lot of patience for any extra bullshit and the world is so filled with extra bullshit. 

I'm holding it all together and just waiting for August to be over so I can get on with the whole Wake Me Up When September Ends vibe and be raring to go for October! Though I do have something cool happening at the end of September, as long as all of the Covidiots don't ruin that for me. Which could very well happen. Ugh...

And I know it's not just me. I know a lot of people are just at the end of their ropes right now. Which makes it really difficult because we are all walking around on our last nerve trying not to blow up at stupid things but THERE ARE SO MANY STUPID THINGS. 

So I'm doing a lot of typing and deleting on posts. A lot of watching TV shows on my phone instead of scrolling Facebook in general. A lot of walking away from things when I can feel the blow up coming. Because I know that I'm mad at a lot of things, but very few of those things are things that can be changed by me being mad. It's just a weather the storm, or the heat wave, situation. And it will pass. I just need to make sure I don't damage anyone while I'm waiting. 

Tropical Backthefuckupy Denise warning in effect!

Grrr....