Had Not Planned on This...

So far behind on my blogging and especially my fiction writing this month. Ugh. But I'm dealing with stuff. Basically stuff that I really didn't plan on dealing with. But stuff that I totally brought on myself.

I talked about it last month, that when I decided to do the 10 Day Elimination Diet I hadn't really thought through how long it would take to add things back in. It's a lot more than 10 days of not eating the stuff I normally eat. It's 10 days plus a few weeks of adding things in one at a time. 

But even when I finally tripped to that I didn't really grasp what was coming. 

Even when I got a taste (so to speak) of it during the initial 10 days.

Basically, I'm kind of stupid. 

See, it's not 10 days without. Or even 10 days and a few weeks without. It's without without. If there is a positive response (a negative response? A positive this is negative response?) then that means stop eating that thing. And though Brent and I talked about it kind of lightly, like oh if I have to give up something this would be harder than that sort of discussion I never really believed I'd have to give up anything. 

I really didn't. 

I did the elimination diet as a just to see sort of thing never once believing that the food I was eating was actually part of why my joint pain had gotten so bad this past year. And honestly, because I thought 10 Days of cutting out a few things would help jump start some weight loss. Which it totally has. Yesterday was one month since I started the testing and I have lost almost 11 pounds. Basically I am back at where I was at the beginning of 2020. Not quite where I was at the beginning of the pandemic but getting close. I've undone the damage of 2020 and now starting again. 

But I didn't really think it would be more than that. 

Even when I had the really strong reaction to nightshades part way through the 10 days. I sort of convinced myself that that was because I ate ALL the nightshades for two days and it was just a lot. And that when I retested them one at at time I'd find that maybe it was the eggplant (because that's my least favorite and Brent REALLY doesn't like it) and that would be that. I didn't really honestly consider it would be the green chile because I eat green chile all the time so how could it be?

And I held that belief right up until...(insert Ba ba baaaaa music) the white flour test. 

Oh holy smokes that was bad. It was quick, just like the second night of nightshades. I felt it in my face first (it starts like an allergic reaction, my face itches and I end up with a rash/welt sort of thing going) and then the next morning, joint pain and stiffness. I mentioned I use my left pointer finger as my big test. It had gotten to the point that I could not bend it first thing in the morning. After the elimination diet I can bend it and it's not even sore. Added in the flour and...ouch!

So fine. No white flour. But it was specifically white flour so surely whole wheat will be fine. Take a day between to eat clean and let everything calm back down and test whole wheat. Sitting at the dinner table about 15 minutes after finishing I told Brent, it's not looking good for the home team. And it wasn't. Basically the same reaction. 

Okay, fine. But sourdough will be fine. There are a lot of people who can eat sourdough who can't eat other breads because the fermenting process actually starts the digestion and...yeah. No. No sourdough. 

Which means it's gluten. I have to go gluten free. Well hell...

I am a middle aged white woman who wears my hair in a variety of styles that identify me as "that woman." I have such "I'd like to speak to the manager" energy that people just bring the manager out when I walk into a store. I've talked about this before, I'm not embarassed by it. I get that the whole "Karen" thing has become about race, but it's not about race for me. I will not be treated like an after thought. I won't be ignored. I don't apologize for taking up space and expecting that I will be treated fairly. But...I have to laugh because when a friend of mine first sent me this picture saying they made a meme of me:

What I told him was, I cut it like that on purpose. Because, see I thought that she wanted to talk to the manager because she was unhappy with her cut. The short in back long in front thing...not that women who wear their hair like that are the type to want to speak to a manager. Oops. (Though it really does look a lot like me in profile and especially at the time when I was wearing my hair just like that)

And now? Now I am a middle aged white lady with a (Different) Can I speak to the manager haircut who is gluten free!  Fuck... 

Because now I have to ask how everything is made and is that gluten free and it's going to look like I'm just one of those trendy bitches who have decided they have a gluten sensitivity and it's going to take everything in me not to say, No! Really! If I eat it I get really bad joint pain and some skin issues and...

Yeah. Can I speak to your manager?

Dammit...

So yeah, I really did not think there would be something there. My arthritis is osteo not rheumatoid, or at least that is how I was diagnosed for my knees and I just assumed my hands and feet were the same, now I'm not so sure. But since I still don't have heat or severe swelling in the joints I'm going to say still osteo. But (I already hear you saying it) I will talk to my doctor about it at my next appointment.

Now I'm on to testing the nightshades. Had green chile yesterday for dinner and though there was a touch of joint tenderness this morning it wasn't bad. We are having it again tonight (the things I get a mild response to I do again the next day to see if it was just a fluke, or if there is something there) and then I'll move on to potatoes. Then I think I will swerve and do sugar. Then alcohol. Then tomatoes and bell peppers. Not going to worry about testing egg plant because...why bother? Brent doesn't like it. I don't care about it. So no need to know if it triggers anything. 

I know that it will either be all of the nightshades giving me a mild reaction and it was just eating a massive amount of them two days in a row that caused the issues, or that one of them is a big no no. I'm not sure which yet but since it wasn't green chile as the big no no I'm okay with whatever. 

I say now. 

Even though I'm still in a slow motion disaster picture over gluten. Seriously...it's like first I thought well that dumps bread and pasta and that sucks. Then it was like wait...I need to find a new way to make my green chile sauce, and I can't have anything at Pine State. And no more hamburgers. Or pizza. Or donuts. Or cookies. Or cake. Or pie. Or...and on and on. All of my favorites just sliding away. 

And I know, there are tons of gluten free alternatives out there now. And I am sure that some of them I will even not hate. But right now I'm still a little bit in denial and a little bit shell shocked. 

We sorted the fridge, freezer and pantries this weekend and there were the things I expected (flour, tortillas, pasta, crackers) and the things I did not (a ton of sauces, my soups, Rice Krispies cereal). And my search history right now is pages and pages of "Is (fill in the blank) gluten free?" I'll figure it out. And I would guess in a few years it will all be second nature to me. But right now it's one things after another. Going back to New Mexico means not eating at my favorite restaurants. Thanksgiving meal needs completely reworked. Comfort foods? What even are they? No more soup dumplings at the place in the mall. No more Chinese food as a whole. Just so much stuff to think about...

And the dread of having that conversation with the waiter where I know the back of house staff will roll their eyes at the "Karen" at table 6...

Is there gluten in that? 
How is that made?
Hold the bread, the croutons, the sauce....

Ugh. 

But good news. I've lost 11 pounds and I don't have to brace myself to get out of bed and step on sore feet and wince when I grab the toothbrush anymore. 

I wasn't really expecting it, but it's a good thing. 

Really. 

I keep telling myself that. 

So good. 

And gluten free.