Watch Your Words....

I get so frustrated with the tone police. And the word choice crusaders. And the pearl clutchers.

I mean, honestly...

Now for those of you that know me, or have read this blog over the years, you know I don't believe in the concept of "bad words" and "good words." I do believe there are words you shouldn't use because of the emotional pain and baggage they carry. The history of the word matters. 

I also believe there are words you should weigh your choices of when to use them and when not to. 

When my mother was alive I would use most every swearword around her without a second thought. Except I did not use god, damn and especially not goddamn. Because for her those weren't just normal swear words, they were offensive to her. Deeply. From her religious perspective. I've had friends laugh at the fact that I will mix "oh my goodness" and "gosh darnit" in a sentence with "fuck" or "asshole." Well, yeah...

But that was my choice. I knew those words meant something else to her so I didn't use them around her because she meant something to me. 

But holy fuck I get tired of people who tell you that you can't use words like hate, or lie, or racist, or stupid or ignorant or...pick what ever one you want. You get the point. 

I think hedging our words around "lie" was part of the problem with Trump's ascendency. We got so precious about calling a lie a lie it became this wishy washy area of well, maybe it's not a lie. We decided that we needed a legal ruling, did they know they weren't telling the truth? Did they intentionally mislead? Maybe it's a falsehood. Or a misinterpretation. Or possibly just a different point of view. 

Or...maybe...and hear me out here...it was a lie. Was it the truth? No? Then what was it? Did they lie on purpose? Well we can get into that. But saying that they didn't intentionally lie is very different than saying it was a different way of looking at something. Not intentionally lying means you didn't know. Or you didn't understand. But what you said was still untrue. A different way of looking at something? Man, that makes it seem like it's perfectly valid. 

Then Trump added the bonus FAKE NEWS to things he didn't like. And people are still doing it. No, it's not fake. It's true. It just doesn't say what you want it to. Unless you can show me how it wasn't true then we won't call it fake news, we will call it a lie. 

Hate is another one. How many times do you see people get called out for that one? "Oh hate is such a strong word." And I honestly tried this one myself for awhile. You know, like tried to leave hate for things I really hated. Deeply hated. But no. I hate creamed corn and that's just the way it goes. And I hate when people lie to me. And I hate being told to watch my language. I don't think I need to wish you ill to hate what you are doing. And I don't think saying that I hate something is the same as being hateful. 

There is a nuance there. 

And probably that's what I fucking hate the most. The lie that things are all clear cut. That there isn't any space for nuance. That context doesn't matter. I'm a paragraph person in a sound bite world and I hate that people lie by pulling soundbites out. I hate that the general public is willing to be fed those soundbites to shape a narrative and when it's pointed out that it's wrong you can't say it's a lie because then people are super worried about the word lie. And hate. 

I've talked over and over about the word racist. And how nobody wants to be called racist. Or told what they are doing is racist. They REALLY hate that word. Think it's a lie. But is it? Or is it a warning? A chance to look at what you are doing, saying, how you are acting and decide is this racist? Am I being racist? Why would you say that? And sometimes it's just someone trying to shut down a discussion, and I hate that. But sometimes, no lie, what is being done and said is racist. And you should change. 

Stupid is another one. Don't be stupid! "Oh you can't call someone stupid!" Well, I didn't say they were stupid, I told them not to be stupid. What they were/are doing right then was being stupid. And they should stop that. 

What is happening right now with the Rightwing NewsySphere around Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and her account of the insurrection is a lie. It's taking what she said and pulling out words to make it seem as though she said something else. It's ignorant. It's being willfully ignorant and stupid and it's a lie and I hate it. (which is why it's making a second blog appearance) 

Don't do that. 

Don't be that person.

Don't. 

Be smarter. Be truthful. Be more worried about the whole context than the soundbites. Be smarter. 

And fuck anyone who tells you to watch your words around it...