I was probably 25 before I realized that Cold Duck was NOT the same as champagne. And I found out by telling someone that I liked Cold Duck for special occasions and they were like...what would that be? When the store is out of Colt 45?
I can remember that feeling. That moment of realizing that you didn't know a whole language that other people seemed to know.
I had friends in high school that were from families with more money than mine, which wasn't difficult, and I had friends who had actual money. Like Money. But we were all in high school and drank whatever we could wrangle, typically Everclear, which is cheap and strong and easily mixed with fruity drinks and that was the biggest prerequisite. I mean, if we would have been drinking which clearly we weren't because we were underage and that would have been illegal. BUT if we would have, it would have been Coors beer, not at all because one of the people I went to school with owned the distribution for the area, and Everclear. And I generally had a bottle of Bacardi that someone procured for me...once I was 21 I mean. Not when I was in high school...
And when we were in the military it was what ever beer was the cheapest in that area. Nobody had money so cheap or free was the best beer. I want to say it was Pabst in Florida but that could have been Idaho...
But anyway, we all spoke the same language around alcohol. Cheap.
My parents were not big drinkers. My father's family has a history of alcoholism and my mother told him that would not be an issue in her house. So they would drink very infrequently. But I could remember Cold Duck around holidays. So it became "fancy" in my head. It was the champagne in my house. Sweet, bubbly, and probably cheap as well.
But when I found out that liking Cold Duck marked me as low class? Well that was interesting. I had no idea. I mean, I didn't really care. I still am not a fan of champagne for the most part. I haven't had Cold Duck since I was in my early 20s either, but only because I finally gave up on liking any sort of wine or champagne for the most part. It's just not for me. Which made client dinners with winos (that's the proper term for people who have entire basements full of bottles right?) super interesting. They would put three or four glasses of stuff in front of me SWEARING that I would like this type, or that type. Rieslings or Ice Wines are the only thing to come close, because they are both pretty sweet. But still not going to be my go to if I am grabbing a drink.
But we mark people by things like that. Do you prefer a top shelf alcohol over the well version? Do you even know that there are shelves? Do you know clothes brands? Do you care? How about artists? Or composers?
That's a big one.
The cats don't care for music, it freaks them out. We've been trying to ease them in to getting used to it as background noise. So we've been playing classical music while we eat breakfast and then I pick something while I clean the kitchen. Anyway...this morning I listened to The Four Seasons by Vivaldi. Which made me laugh because I had been thinking about the Cold Duck moment. I had someone tell me once that The Four Season is what people who don't know any other classical music listen to and think they are cultured. I told them I listened to it because it's wonderful. But I also listen to a few other composers, most of them are well known, because well...classical. Classic is right there in the name.
I don't really have a point to this blog. There was just something in a podcast about race and the pressures of fitting in that made me think about the Cold Duck moment. The person being interviewed talked about how being the first was always a giant pressure for him and how he would have to code switch all the time. He would never have talked around his white classmates the same way he would have around his Black friends. It made me remember that moment. And few others. Ones where I opened my mouth and my socioeconomic status came out and marked me as other. As less classy.
But if I kept my mouth shut there wouldn't have ever been that moment. Everyone would just assume I was like them. Had the same information. The same touchstones. Knew that Cold Duck was not in fact the same thing as champagne. I never felt the immense pressure of fitting in because it was always assumed that I did. That's a pretty big assumption for people to make. That I'm like them because I look like them.
Or that he wasn't because he didn't.
Hmm...
Maybe I did have a point after all.
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