It's My Birthday And...

 ...I'll cry if I want to.

And I'll laugh because shit is hilarious.

And I'll eat treats because they are yummy.

All of it. All of the time.

So...yeah...I knew 51 was going to be rough. Last year on my birthday my siblings and I were hanging around in Death's waiting room watching (from there or afar) my mother fade away. She had made the choice that she was done. And I really was glad for her to let go when she wanted to let go. But...

So when I wrote my birthday blog last year I knew it was going to be a rough year. 

But I had no idea how rough it was going to be.

We lost my mom, Brent's mom and a few friends. We are dealing with a pandemic. The economy is crashed due to the pandemic and we have people who think that the real catastrophe is paying an additional $600 a week to people who have nothing. We are dealing with the fallout of hundreds of years of racial injustice. It's good thing, it's necessary. Hopefully it's a lasting change, but it's still been rough. Growing pains are always rough and maybe, hopefully, We the People are finally growing and changing.

So it's been a good year too. 

Because my mother passed we took an extra trip back to New Mexico last Fall even though we had just been home in the Spring. It will probably be the last time all of my siblings are together in the same room. I didn't take pictures, and should have, but at least I have the memory. 

We also spent a few days visiting with Ann that we wouldn't have had the chance to otherwise. She was going to start traveling more soon. She needed to get her knee replaced and she had an elderly cat that didn't like it when she traveled. As soon as her cat passed and she got that knee done she was going to start coming here more often, or taking more trips with C (they went to New York a few years ago to see The Cursed Child). But because we were all home for the funeral she didn't have to travel to see us. Again, I didn't take any pictures, I had some from May when we all visited before. If I had known it would be the last visit I would have. If she had known her time was a lot shorter than she had thought I would guess she wouldn't have put off the knee surgery or the travel. But we saw her, and that was a good thing. 

We also took a fabulous trip to Disney World in February. Christopher took over a year to plan it all out and we had an outstanding time. It was just when the tendrils of the pandemic were spreading across the country so I feel really lucky that we were able to get there and back before everything shut down, and to do it without getting sick or infecting anyone else. 

Christopher got Covid 19 back in April and recovered fairly quickly and fully as we far as we can tell. That's a really good thing. 

And we got the kittens and they have been hilarious.

So yes, it's been a terrible year. And it's been a great year as well. As most years are. Just this one was on FULL.

So we went from 48 is great, to 49 is prime to 50 is nifty followed by what was supposed to be 51derful but ended up 51 Can we be done? Now we are in 52 pick up. It doesn't rhyme but it fits. Picking up the pieces and starting again. 

You all know 2020 is the no goal year, but birthday years are different than calendar years so let's look at what I want to accomplish for 52. 

I want to make it through. 

Seems dramatic but 51 was a real test so let's just make clear that the bottom line expectation for 52 is #52MakeItThrough (there's a rhyme). Fifty one was enough of a test that I actually forgot my birthday was today until Brent wished me a happy last day of 51 yesterday. Oh...yeah, my birthday is tomorrow. 

I do want to lose some weight. I know, I know, I swear I'm not going to focus on such things but the pandemic and the grief eating and the no gym time have made this one a solid request from the knees. So a fairly significant weight loss would be good. 

And...here's the exciting part that I haven't shared and can't really call a goal because I have ZERO control over it but...I haven't had a period in SEVEN months! Could this really be it? Could I be posting next year about how 52 was a full on menopause year? Fingers crossed!

Though, of course I know that actually is part of the weight issue. And the slowed hair growth issue (it just stopped for a month or so, I joked it was because we couldn't see Sara and my hair wanted to keep it's style). And the dry skin issue. And...Well fuck it! It's worth it! See? Good and bad.

And the really serious part...I'm going to keep growing my eyebrows in. I know, it's a big deal and I can't believe I haven't shared it with you before. When were in New Mexico after Ann died I didn't have a good mirror in the hotel room so no eyebrow grooming. Then I decided to see if I could get them to fill back in, age and plucking tends to make that fairly difficult but why not see? And it's been slow but they take 4-6 months to go through full growth cycles so we will see if I can get back to my dramatic thick brows of my youth...

So you know...priorities. 

And here we go. Another year on the books. Hopefully a better one to come. Even though the pandemic is nowhere close to over and the kittens will only be small for a brief amount of time and I'm not positive that the election will go the way I want and my eyebrows will probably not fully recover; I'm still hopeful. 

And that's the best birthday wish I have for you.

I wish you hope.