Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Oh My Gosh!

I just realized I'm 49 3/4!

Remember those days? When you were never just your year. You were however much of the smallest fraction of the next year you could be as well. 7 and 1/4, 8  and 1/2, 6 and 1/12.  But somewhere along the line we stop counting it that way. We just stick with the boring old year. I'm 49. In a couple of months I will say I'm almost 50 because it will seem disingenuous to say 49 when 50 is in sneezing distance.

But I think I'm going to go back to the fractions of years. Because that fraction is looking forward. You stopped because you stopped really looking forward to the next age. I mean after 21 there really isn't a big milestone you are excited about right?

Well, if you are a guy you like 24 because your car insurance rates go down at 24. At least that used to be the age. I know when Brent turned 24 it was lovely. And we were already getting the military and married discounts so we weren't even hit as hard as some.

But other than that the milestones seem like problems instead of bonuses. People freak out about 30 and 40 and holy shit do they freak out about 50.

I've talked before that for the most part age just really doesn't bother me that much. My parents had me when they were older so my clearest memories of them start when they are in their 40s and 50s. And they didn't seem all that old. My mother is almost 86 and she will still tell you how young she looks compared to other little old ladies. She's not wrong either. She has always looked younger. So I'm not freaked out.


I mean I feel it more now for sure. My knees are very chatty when I'm going up and down stairs. Cuts and bruises do not heal the same as they used to. I've got old lady skin going on now. And you all know how much fun perimenopause has been! But that's all just part of aging, nothing really to freak out about. I'm planning on living to 100 so this stuff is all just trifles.

I worry about dementia and do a ton of stuff to try and stave that off. Because living to 100 will only be cool if I'm aware of it and who I am. I don't want to lose my mental faculties. I don't think any of us do. I want to be an active and aware little old lady who gets away with EVERYTHING because I'm old and what the fuck are you going to say? Kind of like me now but with more age.

So anyway...I'm starting a campaign! Bring back the fractions! I'm 49 and 3/4 years old! Woo!

Monday, May 21, 2018

Exchange Rate...

The bell on the shop door rang out its happy little tune. It actually made Gracie a little mad to hear it. Like it should have been a gong, or bass drum. Something to warn people what they were dealing with beyond this door. But that was probably the point.

"I thought you would be by soon." the lovely young woman behind the counter greeted her.

Gracie just stared. Puzzled.

The young woman waved her hand in front of her face, "Nice isn't it? I got it in a trade. A woman who thought she wanted money instead of beauty. I am always amazed at what people think they want."

The hairs on Gracie's arm stood up. The voice was the same. Twenty years later and it still echoed in her thoughts. So yes, this lovely young woman was who she was looking for. Gracie held herself rigid, trying not to jump over the counter and claw her eyes out, "You need to stay away from her."

The woman's lip curled in to a small half smile. "I didn't seek her out, she found me."

"I don't believe that."

"You can believe what you want it doesn't matter to me. But she came to me, I didn't go to her. The same way you came to me years ago."

Gracie's jaw tightened. She did not believe that her daughter had just happened upon this woman or her shop. "You are trying to tell me that you just happened to relocate here? In this town? After all of these years?"

"Oh, sweetheart, I have locations all over the world. You had to know that. Someone like me? To be limited to a small shop in, where was it you found me? Iowa City? When did you move? I am guessing pretty quickly after our visit?"

"That's none of your business."

"Oh but it is, isn't it? I mean she is my business."

Gracie frowned. "She is not part of the deal."

"Not part of the deal? She was the whole deal. She IS the deal."

"Our deal was between us."

She made her away from behind the counter to stand in front of Gracie. She gestured to her face again, "The woman who traded away this for money? She also thought she had a different deal than the one she made. Why is it that you people never pay attention to what you are actually dealing?"

"We had a deal."

"Yes, and the woman this belonged to thought she had one as well. See she thought with enough money it would be easy to get her beauty back. Plastic surgery being what it is. But she dealt her beauty away. The more she spends trying to get it back the worse it's getting. She should have stopped at what I gave her. Not beautiful, but not really all that bad. Plain. Plain and rich would have been a good thing, instead she's, well, she's still rich but she's fairly hideous, to be frank. People don't pay attention to the deals they make."

"I did. I paid your price."

"You made a deal, you got what you wanted, and you tried to negate what I asked for. And I have to say you did a pretty good job. I don't think anyone looking from the outside would ever be able to tell. But she kind of knows doesn't she? How did you work around that?"

Gracie sighed, "We taught her the same way we would have taught any other child. We read to her. We sang to her. We taught her. She learned just like any other child."

"But she's not just like any other child is she? I mean that's why it's really very remarkable. I'm impressed. But tell me, just between us, how worried have you been? When she did something thoughtless? Careless? Did you wonder if this was normal behavior or the sign of something worse?"

"She was always very good."

The woman laughed, "Well no. Not really."

Gracie felt her anger rise again, "Yes, yes really. She is very good. She's a good person and you need to leave her alone!"

The woman remained calm, "Did she tell you what she asked me for?"

Gracie shook her head. She hadn't. Gracie had found the card to the shop in the pocket of her daughter's jeans when she was doing laundry. Just seeing the name had made her want to throw up. How in the world had she found them? When she had asked her daughter about the card and the visit she had just laughed and told her it was silly bachelorette party stuff. They had all gotten their fortunes read it was no big deal.

"She worries about love. Her friends are all getting married and she's never even had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend. She doesn't even know which she would prefer. Have you never talked to her about this?"

A tear started to roll down Gracie's cheek. Of course she had talked to her about it. Over and over again. That it would happen when it was the right time. That there was nothing to worry about. They had even talked about not finding romantic love. That there were people who lived very fulfilling lives with never having a romantic partner. That that was just a different normal. But her daughter didn't want that. She wanted to love someone. She wanted that feeling. But she never could find it.

"She just wants what everyone else has. And I feel for her. I feel responsible for her as well, as you know."

Gracie could feel her heart starting to race. What had she done?

"Everyone thinks they can make a deal and not pay the real price. You all think you are so clever."

The tears started in earnest now. What had she done?

"You asked me for a child. You said you would do anything for a child. So we made a deal. And you thought you were being clever. That you could work around it. Tell me, did you even believe before you had her that you were giving anything real away?"

 And here was the truth. She hadn't. Not really. She had thought it was all a joke. She didn't really believe in such things but when she had discovered she was pregnant just a day after leaving the small dusty shop she had started to believe. And when her daughter was born, when they started to raise her, when they could see the missing parts, then she knew. She knew what price she had paid.

"You bargained with something that wasn't really yours to bargain with. And then you thought you could work around it, you didn't want to pay the price for the deal you made. But there is always a price to be paid. And if you won't pay it, well someone has to."

Gracie started to shake, "What did you do?"

"I just gave her what she asked for. A soulmate of her very own. Of course, not every parent who makes the deal you did is successful in raising a good child. It's going to be very interesting."

Gracie started to scream as the woman laughed and laughed and laughed....


Sunday, May 20, 2018

Sunday Slog Fest...

Okay we are down to the last two Sunday blogs you will have to suffer.

Good news! I had an idea break through on the story I was working on yesterday so I should be able to get it written next week. Of course it completely wipes out everything I wrote yesterday but that's okay, it needed wiped out. When it's not working it's not working. But hopefully this time it will all come together.

I've got two bitches to get off my chest for the rest of this blog so it's going to be slightly ranty and completely not related.

First off, we went to go see Deadpool 2 today. It was good, not as good as the first but that's only because the first was such a surprise and those aspects weren't really a surprise this time around. But it was highly enjoyable and we really liked it. So...here's the bitch. The previews are going and we get one for a raunchy buddy cop movie featuring puppets. I mean RAUNCHY like if you thought Avenue Q was a little tame this is up your alley. I leaned over to Brent (talking during the previews is fine) and said something about kids wanting to see it, and he said that there were kids in the theater right now.

What? You brought your kids to a Deadpool movie? And it's not like it's the first one so you thought maybe they were kidding with R rating. Deadpool is a hard R. There is nothing in it for kids. It's just not appropriate. I've had this bitch before which is almost always met with people saying they can't afford a sitter or their kids can handle it. No and no. If you can't afford a sitter you stay home. And your kids shouldn't be handling a movie made for adults. They just shouldn't. Did you know why we get tense and our palms sweat in scary movies? Because our fight or flight reactions don't realize it's all pretend. We can rationalize it, but we still feel it. Not good for kids.

You will survive having to wait. Millions of parents before you had to practice delayed gratification while they were raising kids, you can do it too. I have faith in you.

My second bitch is people who are assholes about things that have zero to do with them. This was specifically triggered by a friend posting about Pride and some asshole she is friends with coming in with a "What about straight people?" post. Now, I don't know this guy, but from what he posted and where he went (the intolerant tolerant bullshit angle) my guess is he has zero interest in attending a Pride event and it has nothing to do with him at all. But instead of just scrolling on by he needed to make it about him.

This happens all the time. And mostly with straight white people, sad to say. They don't like Pride because it excludes them. They don't like Black Lives Matter because it excludes them. They don't like ANYTHING that isn't straight and white because it excludes them. But they don't want to say that. They want to say things like "Shouldn't we celebrate EVERYONE." or "The tolerant LEFTIST like to call names when all I'm saying is that celebrating your own culture is insulting to ME." If it has nothing to do with you then shut the fuck up. How's that? I'm not a member of the tolerant left, by the way, that's something the right invented to argue against.  I'm a member of the don't be a fucking dick brigade.

So if you see a post about a cultural event that isn't your culture and you have a genuine question, ask it. For instance, you see a post about Pride and someone is asking for people to remember that sexuality is not carried like a sign so don't assume that hetero looking couple is there to site see, they could very well be part of the LBGTQ+ community. So your question is are straight allies welcome? To which you will get an answer. Spoiler alert, it's usually yes. But don't come in with a "question" that is really just looking for an argument masked as concern trolling. "But what about straight people, are you saying that no straight people are ever welcome at Pride festivities?" See the difference? One is, "I want to support you." the other is "I want you to acknowledge ME."

So now that I think about it, my two unrelated bitches are actually related.


Don't be so fucking selfish. It's not always about you. It doesn't have to be about you. You can wait to see a movie so you don't damage your kids, you can show some respect for cultures other than your own and understand that they don't have to cater to you to be valid. You can not be rude. Don't be rude to your kids by dragging them someplace they should not be, don't be rude to people who are already facing discrimination in joint spaces and are just looking for a place to celebrate their own world.

Just stop being such a selfish, rude, asshole, mmmkay?

And again Deadpool 2, funny, enjoyable, not for kids.
Pride festivities, open to everyone but allies remember you are there as an ally don't try to make it about you.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Started It...

Started the fiction piece I was going to write yesterday and got about halfway through it then decided I didn't like the way it was going so I stopped.

A lot of writing is like that.

You have the idea, for most of us you have a LOT of ideas. Ideas are not that hard part of writing, usually. Even when I have writer's block and I'm complaining about not having anything what I really mean is I don't have anything more than the nugget of an idea. Because I have notes and notes and more notes of ideas. The idea isn't the hard part.

It's the rest.

The part that makes it a story. Gives it flow. Makes you see the scene I have in my head.

And right now the idea I had on Friday morning is not yet a story. See I need to get it to the second act, the second scene, that's where the real story is, but I can't just start there. There has to be a door opened to walk through. A room they start in. A frame work. If I don't get that then I can't get to the next piece.

So I came up with something yesterday that I thought would work, but it's not. Not yet. There is something about it that's missing. It's a complicated main character and I need to give you information about her without telling you too much. You need to discover the second piece in the second act. Without that moment of discovery the story doesn't work. The whole premise of the story is around that piece.

But it's proving to be more complicated than I thought it would be.

I think I might need to backup even further. Start you with her from a younger age. But then it becomes a much longer story that I was thinking it would be. That's a different framework. I wanted it to be about 1000 words, if I back up too far I'm looking at 2000, 3000. Or a multipart story. Which I could do but it's not as punchy that way. I really wanted this to be a punchy 1000 words.

And it might be. My guess is that there is a flaw in the original idea and the process is pointing it out. That happens a lot as well. The story I thought I was going to tell ends up not being the story that I tell at all. There is only a passing resemblance to the original note as there was to the story I wrote. And that's fine as well. Usually.

But I do really think there is something here so I will keep tossing the idea in my head trying to polish it up in to a better short story than it is right now.

So that's why you get another filler blog. I'm working it out. I promise. And I am hopeful it will turn into something cool. But I'm also aware that it might not. It might join the pile of false starts and half stories just waiting patiently for their turn.

Hmm...that might be a good story idea. All of the half starts join together to form a revolt...let me think about that...

Friday, May 18, 2018

Not Today...

I have a really great idea for a short story. The plan was to write it today for a little Friday Freaky Fiction. I'm hoping that I have a rush tomorrow of inspiration and time and get it done then instead because it's not happening today.

Today is another school shooting day in America. Another day where my feed is full of rhetoric and hate and the same old talking points and we wonder why our kids keep facing school shooters.

I also have a lot of Yanny/Laurel leftovers and the one I found to be fascinating that I posted today where I could change what I heard based on what I told myself I was going to hear. Now, I have two friends who have kids the age to play with the toy that had the recording, neither of them could make the recording sound like anything other than what it actually was. They knew it too well. Their facts were solid, you might say, so their brains rejected any other option. Fascinating.

The Yanny/Laurel recording sounds like Laurel to me. Can't force the change, can't hear something else unless I go to the postings that have adjusted the frequency to higher and lower so people could hear what others heard. But I hear Laurel when it's set "right" and I cannot hear anything else. In this case my facts are solid, but if given a different angle I can hear what you are hearing, I just know it's not right.

How often do we intentionally change the frequency to hear only what we want to hear?

People talk a lot about bubbles. We live in our own bubbles of people who think like us and act like us and believe like us so we wrongly assume everyone else thinks, acts and feels like us. We narrow our fields down over and over again so the only people we interact with are in our bubble. It's normal. Most people don't like conflict and many people cannot handle differences of opinion without it becoming a nasty conflict.

The other night I told Brent that I think it's only fair from here on out if someone calls me a libtard I get to call them a Republicunt. Usually this is where he says no. Instead he said, "Sounds fair." Because I'm tired of it. He's tired of it. We should all be tired of it. I am super progressive and very liberal, neither of those should lead you to make it an insult. I have facts to back up what I feel. I've read and researched what I believe. I also know there are areas where I am more conservative because I believe in those stances as well. I'm fiscally conservative. I don't think we should have programs we can't pay for. I just disagree with capital R conservatives what the programs deserving funding are, and honestly at this point about the funding programs instead of increasing debt load. There are discussions we should have and compromises we should make. But they no longer happen.

And part of that is people adjusting their frequency to hear what they want to hear. Anti-vaxxers, birthers, flat earthers, climate change deniers, 9/11 conspirators, second amendment junkies, and on and on. There are facts, scientific facts, research, reality based evidence, out there that we should listen to. But you change the frequency so you tune out anything that doesn't agree with what you already believe.

There are other countries in the world with stricter gun laws and they don't have the mass shootings, and single shootings, and gun suicides that we have. You can study it. But you ignore it. Change the frequency and find something else more in line with what you believe, or change the frequency so when I say we need to screen, register and insure you hear we need to confiscate all of the guns and probably throw the gun owners in jail for good measure. 

We are the only developed country that has turned climate change in to a political divide. There can't be warming because I had to wear a sweater today. How's that for your frequency change? Anti-vaxxers can be shown article after article about safety and the real reason we have a vaccine court and they will change the frequency and find a website devoted to the things they already believe and they will put aside everything else because this is what they want to hear.

On and on it goes.

Don't like what you are hearing? Change the frequency. Find something you want to hear more.

And then be boggled at people who know what is right, their facts are solid, who refuse to hear what you do. Even if they can understand what you are hearing, they keep telling you that you are hearing it wrong because their facts are straight and you have just adjusted the frequency to your own happy place. How can they be so sure they are right? Why trust science when you have all of these feels?

It's frustrating.

Stop ignoring the preponderance of evidence just because it feels better to believe that one blogger who agrees with you. Even if that one blogger is me. Though I would think it would be a rare situation where the preponderance of evidence is against what I'm saying. Even though I hear green storm, I know the right answer is brainstorm so I'm not going to tell you that I'm right. I'm not. My frequency is just off.

It's okay to be wrong. It's okay to even feel like it would be more comfortable to be right, yet you know you are wrong. It's okay to look for more evidence. It's not okay to ignore anything that goes against what you think and find the one obscure thing that agrees with you and act like they are the same weight.

No false equivalence in our frequency range, okay?

Ninety-nine scientists to one means that it's more likely the 99 are right. Stop arguing that the 1 is just as valid. If they were then there would be others who agree.

So yeah, I'm not writing fiction today, but trust me, it's a good one. I'm already pleased with it and I haven't even written a word.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

I Don't Feel for You...

I was listening to a Fresh Air interview this morning at the gym and was hit by a moment of hearing someone who usually "gets it" completely missing it.

Terry Gross was interviewing Tig Notaro and they were talking about Louis CK. First off Tig Notaro was clearly uncomfortable about the discussion and Terry was still forging on. And I get that, to a point, she is trying to get answers people listening might want to hear. Tig was on the forefront of calling Louis CK out on his behavior and working to hold him accountable while also having to work with him as a producer on her show. The relationship was complicated from the outside looking in. Tig gave an explanation of how she came to work with him, what she saw when she started to work with him, what she then did, then the fall out when everyone else found out about him. And that should have been that.


Terry wanted to make one more point. It was that she felt sorry for Louis CK. (Did you hear the record scratch or was it just me?) See, he is such a huge talent and to be controlled by these impulses is just so sad. (my face was totally doing that my face thing) Tig was going to have none of it. (yay!) She said who she felt sorry for were all of the women he had harassed. The women who dealt with the fall out from it all. The women who would never feel the same way about him, about other men they worked with who supported and covered for him, about women they worked with who did the same and about themselves. The doubt they felt about themselves in what they might have done or not done to prevent it. Because that's what victims of assault often do, blame themselves. Society blames them as well.

I was really glad to hear Tig do that. Often we don't. Terry was very apologetic and wanted to make sure it was clear she didn't mean any harm she just couldn't understand what he did and why since he was so talented...

See and here is where empathy and sympathy can be excessive. He's an asshole. He's a criminal. He's a serial sexual abuser. He's a predator. He used his talent and his connections to get away with it. You wouldn't see the sympathy for a dude on the bus jerking off at women but it's the same thing. I don't care what your compulsions are, you deal with them without victimizing other people.

Talent, money, power, sports skill, all of those things are not excuses for bad behavior but we see over and over again that they are used to justify why people get away with it. Bill Cosby, oh we shouldn't taint his legend. (taint away, he's tainted) Bill O'Reilly, oh it was all a left wing conspiracy that he REPEATEDLY harassed women. Ben Roethlisberger, oh but he throws the ball really well (side note, I had to google his name because we only call him Rapelisberger in this house). Kobe Bryant, oh he's the greatest and he bought his wife that ring to make up for it (umm, it wasn't her that he raped). Don't even get me started on Jameis FuckingWinston. Harvey Weinstein. Anthony Weiner. And on and on and on. We excuse men (mostly men, I'm sure there will be women out there sometime) for horrible things because of a variety of reasons that we shouldn't ever consider. Bad men who have gotten a pass because of money, power, talent, sports skills, family connections...The White House holds one now and if HRC had won would have held a different one. Getting away with things the pervert on the bus never would.

But I get it. Terry Gross is highly empathetic and one of the curses of being highly empathetic is it can bleed over into sympathy where it's not deserved. I am really empathetic. I think a lot of creative people are. You need to be able to understand why people act the way they act to be able to write convincingly about them, or act in a play or a movie as someone else. It's a strong trait. I am not very sympathetic though. I can completely understand why someone got to where they are, I can see the things that led them there, but then I stop short of feeling sorry for them because of the actions they then took. For me empathy usually only goes so far. But for others empathy and sympathy become closely linked and I think that is what I heard in that interview from Terry Gross. Her empathy bled into sympathy and Tig Notaro rightly pulled her back and gave her the real victims to feel badly for.

And just to add to the equation, assholes know how to play on this. Harvey Weinstein supported any number of organizations that promoted women. Louis CK did the same thing. He presented a "good guy" image out there, including promoting Tig Notaro's comedy. The New York Attorney General who was leading investigations in to other men including Weinstein, while all the while covering his own abuse allegations is another. They put up a smoke screen of good guy to cover for the asshole they are so when it's discovered people are left with this feeling of yeah...but...

You aren't sure how to feel. Does the asshole part completely negate the rest? Or does the good outweigh the bad?

Empathy vs. sympathy. I understand your feelings, but I don't feel sorry for you when you act out based on them. And I also can say, "They did xyz that was great, however, it does not excuse abc."

I'm not the Catholic Church, there are no buying of indulgences.

We can understand people and feel badly for their situation but we should never let that cloud our judgement of their actions. I have no sympathy for someone who victimizes others. But what I do have is a ton of respect for Tig Notaro. May we all be so good at defending those ideals.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

So Good...

We went to go see P!nk last night. I bought these tickets in October of last year so I've been looking forward to this show for awhile. Technically I've been looking forward to this show for years. The first time I watched her do the aerial dancing and found out she did it in concert I started looking forward to seeing her one day.

It did not disappoint.

The show is incredibly staged. It's a SHOW. There is choreography and set pieces that change for songs and clever bits and emotional highs and prerecorded pieces that distract you during costume changes and so much aerial work but it's different each time so you aren't getting that feeling of seen it...bored now. And then, of course, there is her music. Which apparently lands in a middle aged lady sweet spot judging from the crowd. It makes sense her first album came out in 2000 and she really hit it big in 2001. So around 17 years ago those 40-45 year old women were clinging on to their 20s feeling rebellious and she spoke to them. I was a little older, but rebellious women always speak to me.

I love her "zero fucks to give" vs. "too many fucks about everything" mashup. She's perfect. Excuse me, fucking perfect.

Brent asked on the way home if there were any songs that I wished she had done that she didn't. And honestly though she missed a couple of my favorites the show was so good I didn't feel like I missed out. And that's a great thing. I mean, she has a lot to choose from so there is no way to get them all, but there are people that we've gone to see and if they hadn't hit a few songs that I love I would have been bummed. So that fact that she didn't do Don't Let Me Get Me or Trouble or Please Don't Leave and I still feel like it was a great show? Outstanding.

Now here is my usual "Why do you do that?" feeling that I leave almost every show with. When we got to our seats the two women sitting next to us started out by announcing to Brent that he would have to dance. Telling Brent he has to do anything is never a good choice and especially something like dancing. But it gave me a good indication of where we were. The party girls. Or women. Okie doke. So during her opening act, a DJ which was an interesting choice but fun, they danced, or moved in a slightly off beat but I'm sure it counts way.

Okay, quick aside, as the arena was filled with a large percentage of middle aged white ladies let me just say that there is more to dancing than a weird hip wiggle, ladies. Really, find the beat, find the rhythm of the song, move WITH it. There is no one size fits all dance, you have to find the groove of the song and well, groove WITH it. Public service announcement portion over...

So then they decided that the DJ was boring and they would go get another drink before the show because the bar area near us had short lines. Well, that was a GREAT idea. So great that they stayed at the bar for the next half hour and brought two more drinks each with them back to their seats.

The drinks combined with the 5 inch platform sandals meant the awkward dancing portion of the evening was over. So I figured our floor show was done. But once the concert started we got a new opportunity. There was a guy a couple of rows in front of us who was a concert continual stander. And I get it, I really do, I don't always want to stand for an entire show, there are some that call for it, Green Day for instance, and some that don't, Indigo Girls, but most are a mix. Stand and sit. But there are always people who want to stand the whole time. And it's a bummer when they are in front of you because you then have to stand too. But it's a concert so you make a Facebook post about how it drives you crazy and move the fuck on.

OR...you yell obscenities at him and threaten to kick his ass.

Which she got chastised for by the moms sitting in front of us. "That's out of line. We are at a concert. Use your words!"

Me? I was thinking, "Bitch you cannot even stand on your shoes right now you cannot possibly kick someone's ass. Besides that you weigh all of 105 pounds, you aren't even a threat sober."

But the mom chastisement from the front row settled her into a sulk for the balance of the show.

Which is where my perennial question comes into play. Why in the world do you do that? The tickets weren't cheap. Not even sitting in the 200 section where we were. You had to buy them last year. You spent a couple hundred dollars for them. You are a fan of hers. Why do you get so drunk you aren't really going to enjoy the show, let alone remember it? I'm also super cheap and drinks at a concert are expensive. A solid drunk like that costs a lot of money. You've already spent a lot on tickets and parking and possibly babysitting and you add another $50 on it to get so trashed you don't enjoy what you originally paid to see? I just don't get it.

I mean she should try sober out for a change, but what are you going to do with a stupid girl?