Planning...

So still in that thinking about the second half of the year phase. Of course writing more is on my list. It always is. I enjoy writing. It helps keep my head clear. It entertains me. It makes me feel connected to the three of you that read my stuff. 

But...

As you three already know, sometimes I have no idea what to write about. Quite often I'm sitting down at the computer and staring at a blank screen hoping something will come to me.

I go back and forth on using writing prompts. And even when I do use them I tend to use them loosely. Writing prompt as interpreted by me. But I am thinking about finding a writing prompt book or website and consistently using their prompts. Nonfiction and fiction.

It would end up a dual writing challenge not just raw numbers but also a challenge in following prompts.

I could also do the Fat Mum Slim Picture of the Day prompts as writing prompts. I've done that a few times. The challenge with that being sometimes they don't really apply. I mean I can write a blog about "blue" but it's not much of a prompt right?

And then the real challenge, half the time when I look up writing prompts I click away from them again thinking, "oh my fucking god those are lame."

So maybe the first challenge is to find decent prompts and then the next is to follow them?

Breaking up the day into writing, working out, taking care of the house and then the rest. How many hours a day to put toward writing? 

I mean that's a challenge to decide as well. I've tried in the past to dedicated a block of time, "I write from ten to noon." but if there is no idea there it becomes "I surf the web and stare at a blank Blogger page from ten to noon." 

Wouldn't it be nice if you could turn creativity on or off when you were ready to work? Like flip that switch, pour out genius words, flip it back off and clean the bathroom. (Hey, I live an exciting life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise)

So that's where I am right now in the planning stage. I know I want to do something. I think I have an idea on how to do it. I just don't know exactly how it's going to look. 

So typical me!

Eyebrows on Fleek...

 I don't keep up with the kids today and their slang and hip talk...mostly because I don't understand it. That world of shifting language just begins to pass you by at some point. You might hear some of it, but you just let it wash over you and move on. 

But during that shining moment when "Eyebrows on Fleek" was a thing people said I really got it. If my eyebrows look good I feel good. 

Which brings us to mothers and daughters and how much easier it is to manage as adults and yet at the same time it's still complicated. 

Over the past year I've nagged Katie about her eyebrows more than once. And I'm using nagged only because I've done it more than once. I've suggested, recommended, said, that she should get her brows professionally shaped and then follow that in her regular maintenance. I've told her that it will open up her face in ways she will really like. That it will emphasize her eyes and her really gorgeous eyelashes. 

Then a few weeks ago someone else mentioned doing her eyebrows. 

And then another person mentioned it. 

Then she asked in her friend group if eyebrows were just a really big deal to cis women and she got the response that yeah they were. And one of the people in the group said she'd been bullied about her eyebrows her whole life. 

Well wait.

Bully is one of those words that is used totally differently now than it was when I was growing up and I think it's overused now because of that. Generational difference alert.

For me bullying is mean. It comes with a threat. Either of violence or insults or making life miserable. I will cop to nagging but I won't agree that I've bullied. 

But because she mentioned bullying I will try not to talk about it again if I can help myself. Because it doesn't really matter if I feel like I'm bullying her about it, if she does. 

Which is where the doing this from an advanced age helps. 

I think a lot of time the challenges that happen during puberty between the same sex parent child combo is a rejection of the parent to become fully their own individual. Or at least it often feels that way when your child decides to do something completely differently than you would have. We had that during first puberty.  Second puberty I can recognize that just because I would do something differently than she wants to do it that doesn't mean she is rejecting who I am. It's just that my way doesn't work for her.

My way of dressing, my way of doing my hair, my way of doing my makeup, my way of grooming my eyebrows. Those are all my way. I can tell her how I do it. Help her as much as she wants in those areas but she's not necessarily going to have the same taste in clothes that I do. She's not necessarily going to want to do the same grooming rituals that I do. All of that is fine. It's not a rejection of me, it's an embracing of herself.

Which at 53 and 29 is a lot easier to accept and manage without hurt feelings. 

Even though I do think she should at least try the eyebrows...

Halfway...

Okay, coming up on halfway through the year. 

This was the point that I said I'd reevaluate goals and see what I wanted to accomplish because there was no point in doing it before we were settled into the new house and had the old one sold.

We still aren't completely settled into the new place but it's close. We are waiting on a few things to be delivered still, blinds for the office, the new dishwasher. We are waiting on getting some work done, solar panels installed, the back yard landscaped. And we are still filling in things that the new house needs, like some furniture pieces that don't work in the new space and we need to replace some towels and buy some rugs and artwork. 

But it's all trickle in stuff now instead of constant work so it's time to look at what living in this space really means. 

What sort of schedule will my day start to take on? 

And that shifts starting next month as Brent starts going back into the office a few days a week. It's been super convenient to have his commute be 5 minutes instead of 25. And to be able to tell when the "I'm leaving at 6" shifts with a last minute meeting or phone call because I can hear it happen instead of the 6:30 text saying he got delayed and I've already got dinner cooked and ready. 

I mean, dinner time moving isn't really a big deal in any way shape or form, but it is nice when it's not an issue at all. 

So July will be Brent back at work in the office some days. The house projects now mostly manageable scheduling instead of tons of all the time fit it in workers. And time for second half of the year goal setting. 

Which leads me to...

What do I want to accomplish for the second half of the year?

Fitness, writing, reading, new skills? Is there anything that I am feeling the need to drive to right now? 

I'm just not sure. 

I have eleven days to think about it though so I'm sure I'll come up with something. 

Maybe.

I sort of feel like making it through the first 6 months with the move and everything really counts for a whole year of doing stuff. 

Or I could just be really lazy and want to find a justification for that. 

So if the goals become something like "Build up to Napping for 3 hours each day" you will know what won out. 



How about you? What are you looking forward to for the second half of the year?

Ally...

What makes you an ally?

I'm going to talk specifically about LGBTQIA+ here but you can apply it to anything or anyone you are trying to support. 

What makes you an ally?

You see a lot of ally talk in June. Pride month and all. But a lot of time it seems to be a rainbow post and maybe a Love is Love banner. 

Which is great, for sure. 

Or maybe not great. 

But better than nothing. 

Corporations do performance Pride. Where they change their Facebook or Twitter pictures for the month. Maybe make a post. For sure come up with some Pride merchandise they can sell. If there is money to be made they are supportive of that, Juneteenth is seeing that particular growing pain this year as well. 

Now, there are companies that are super LGBTQIA+ friendly all year round. So I'm not putting everyone on the just stop it bus, but there are a few that you know need to be there. And if the Pride merchandise doesn't have at least a portion of the profits going to an organization working toward rights or protections you can tell it's all capitalism not Pride. 

Then there are individuals. People who claim the ally banner and speak on being an ally. Right up until it gets hard. Or they want to do something that being a true ally would keep them from doing. Then it switches to "freedom of speech" and "agree to disagree" and "can't we all just get along?"

Well...okay then. 

I'll be perfectly honest, I've never had a chicken sandwich, biscuit or waffle fry that was good enough for me to want to put money towards organizations that want to deny gay people their rights. And that's what Hate Chicken does. Oh yeah sure, they have tried to distance themselves as a corporation saying their charitable wing no longer does that but...The man that makes money from them still does. And their corporate charity wing funnels money to more subtle outlets now. Instead of trying to get gay marriage overturned they donate to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. Which does not allow "active" gay members. Like, you know, you can be in the group as long as you don't ever date or get married to a same sex partner. So totally different than what they were doing before. Except not. 

I've never read a book that was so foundational to my world that I can ignore the transphobic bullshit out of the author's mouth. I mean, I walked away from the Bible and my entire family's belief system when I was teenager, I'm pretty sure I can do without Harry Potter at this point. 

I have never heard a comedian so funny that I can disregard their homophobic or transphobic bullshit (or anti-Semitic as well in Chappelle's case, how is he not getting even a LITTLE grief over that part?) just to laugh at the rest. Ricky Gervais, not someone I will support. Dave Chappelle, oh hell no. And when other people support them I walk away from that as well. I get it, Chappelle especially has been super generous to other comedians, offering them stage time and help and words of wisdom and....

None of that matters to me. 

Ironically JK Rowling put it well in the Harry Potter books, standing up to your friends when they are doing the wrong things is MUCH harder than standing up to people you don't like. 

I don't need Patton Oswalt or John Mulaney or the fucking Foo Fighters to stop being friends with Chappelle, but I cannot support them giving him a microphone and a stage to spread his hate. Or standing on his stage ignoring what he says about trans people and Jewish people. Again, why does no one mention that part? I mean, if you are a transphobe yourself aren't you at least not anti-Semitic? 

Free speech means all of these people get to say whatever they want to say without the government punishing them. I don't want that to change. I am all for free speech. I like when people actually speak their minds so I know who I want to associate with and who I want to give my money to. 

Being an ally is an activity. Ally is an action word. It's not a title you give yourself and then sit back and say, "Look at me in my rainbow shirt! I'm such a good ally!" 

If you are eating a Chick-fil-a sandwich wearing your Ravenclaw sweatshirt on your way to a Chappelle show you aren't. 

It's not always easy. 

Or wait, actually it is easy. Do it or don't. Easy choice. 

It's not always fun. Or the thing you really wanted to do. But it's important. 

Are you an ally or do you just like rainbows and sparkles?

Busy....

I keep intending to come in to the office and write. I mean that has been the plan for June. Dedicate a few hours every day to writing. Fiction or nonfiction, doesn't matter. Just get some words on the screen. And how easy to do it! I've got time, especially right now because Brent is in Europe and I'm here. 

But here it is, Friday, and it's the first time all week I've made it in the office to write. And it's 4:15 on Friday so not exactly my mid morning session I was thinking. 

It's just been really busy lately. The kind of busy where you take one thing off your list and add two more. 

For instance...

We decided to do a custom build on the main bedroom closet. They let me know that they could come yesterday morning to install them. Great! That's a thing off the list. But then I needed to empty the closet out so they could build the new system. Then after they got the new system installed I needed to patch and paint the spots in the closet where the old hardware had been. So today I was going to load everything back in. But I'm changing out to the velvet hangers, pulled them out to use and realized they are shedding little black fuzz everywhere so they all need to be rinsed and then hung to dry. Take one thing off the list, add in a few more. 

I ordered some decorative pillow covers for the new bedding. One of them has been on a really late delivery delay. I didn't want to order any others until I got that one to see how it matched. Finally got it today! Yay, now I can order the others to match it. But wait, it's the wrong size. And they don't have the smaller size anymore (my guess as to why it took so long and they ended up sending me the wrong size) so I have to pack it back up and set up a return. Which I will now need to take to Fed-Ex, along with a trip to UPS to return something else and to Macy's to return the horrible dress that looked so cute on the model...

Take a thing off. Add in a few more.

I had big plans for everything that I was going to get done while Brent was gone, and in the grand scheme I will have gotten a lot done, I've already gotten a lot done, but most of it will be behind the scenes stuff so he won't be able to tell I've gotten a lot done. And if you don't get credit for doing things does it even count?

He is going to be gone another week. I'm already out of half of my time and starting tomorrow I will add in visiting Otto and Vastra while their people are gone. And now, that doesn't really take a ton of time, but it chops up the day and encourages me to be lazy because, "I can't start that now, I need to leave soon."

But so far I've had the living room curtains installed, I've gotten an estimate for garage insulation, I've scheduled a repair for the treadmill, the bedroom closet has been installed, I've given away the racks from the old closet, given away the cat food the cats are too picky to eat, given away the side tables we don't need anymore (or at least I'm pretty sure I've given them away, she hasn't picked them up yet, but I am hoping), the blinds for the back half of the house are scheduled to be installed Monday, the estimate for the backyard landscaping is set up for Thursday, I have a couple pieces of furniture coming from Wayfair tomorrow and Tuesday that should finish out the office, I'm planning on building the new garage shelves this weekend and getting that wrapped up and...

Oh yeah, I need to mow again. 

Joy. 

Take a thing off the list, add two more. 

But at least I finally sat down and put some words on the screen. Hopefully I'll do that a few more times this month as well!

Supply Chain Issue...

"What?"

"It's a supply chain issue."

"I heard you. I mean, I heard the words. But what? It's a supply chain issue?"

"Yeah. You know how it is. So much is delayed lately. Supply chain issue."

"How in the world can this be a supply chain issue?"

"Umm, hello? Global pandemic."

"Yeah. I know about that. But what does that have to do with this?"

"It's everything. You know how it is lately. Everything is tied. Also there is a war in Ukraine."

"What?"

"War. In Ukraine. Come on! You have to know that Russia invaded Ukraine right?"

"Of course I know that. But again, what?"

"War in Ukraine. Totally adding to the supply chain issues. Global energy prices."

"And all of this means?"

"I just told you. Supply chain issues. Global Pandemic. War in Ukraine."

"Ooohhhkay."

------------

"You seem really tired this morning."

"I am. I really could have used a refill on my coffee at breakfast but..."

"Supply chain issues?"

"Yeah...."


I'm working out something in my head with supply chain issues and the most ridiculous things tied to that reasoning. I've seen it as an excuse in more and more places where it really doesn't seem to fit so...

I'm not sure if this will go anywhere or not, but the idea is fun. 

Happy Pride!

Happy Pride!

What a weird thing to say in a way. It's not as weird as the people who say Happy Memorial Day, but it's still a little weird. 

Pride came from protest. Pride came from reaching a point where not being left alone to just BE became too much to bear. Pride was a riot. Pride was a reaction to police brutality. 

Pride is being able to stand up and say, "This is who I am." That's what Pride is. 

And so we celebrate Pride Month, or Pride Season, depending on where you live. We say Happy Pride and it sort of translates to Happy that you get to be you! Which, okay, sure. But what a real pisser that it still has to be a thing put in a month or a day or one parade or a drink special or a brand logo. Shouldn't it just be by this point? 

The origins of Pride were a push back on not being allowed to just be, and here we are, 50 years later, still pushing back. 

And this year? Wow. There is a lot to push against. Anti trans legislation popping up all over the country. Don't Say Gay flourishing through Florida. Seeing the old pedophilia trope getting dusted off and tossed out with the "GROOMER!" label.

Looking at a Supreme Court that is primed to overturn Obergefell. 

It's a lot. 

Like a lot, a lot. 

Obviously my family has a lot at stake here. It was a year ago yesterday that Katie told us she is trans. She had already started her HRT a week before that. She posted her year apart pictures this week. I can see a lot of changes in her face and in her body but it's still the change in her bearing that strikes me. She's just happier. Happy Pride, indeed.

We've also talked about the fact that I have been hesitant claim the bisexual mantel because I've only been in heterosexual relationships. I just feel like no Stonewall no Parade. But...on the other hand bisexual erasure is a thing that happens all the time (thank you, Cami, for the solid education on this). Because I can and do pass easily as just plain old hetero nobody assumes differently. Even though I've not hidden the fact that I have a crush on Charlize Theron (and Megan Rapinoe and Laverne Cox) or how watching Bound was (as cliché as this is) a real watershed moment for me. People are shocked when I say that I find all genders attractive. Even though I've been saying all along that I find all genders attractive. It's easier to discount what I say as just words and put me in the hetero box. 

Katie helped me understand that who I am with does not define who I am. And that not feeling "gay enough" is so common to bisexuals that it's just understood as normal in most queer communities. I am who I am and my husband and child are good with it, and I am as well. I've not had the challenges but I am still who I am. Who I find attractive has nothing to do with their gender. That's who I am.

So Happy Pride!

Welcome to June where corporations bring out their rainbow logos. Bigots rail against those rainbow logos and ask "where's my parade?" This June please pay attention to what else they do. The corporations and the bigots. Where are the dollars going? What laws are being rammed through Republican legislatures? What language is being used when discussing the LGBTQIA+ community? What are we at risk of losing? What is coming our way? How do we make sure we are ready to, once again, reinforce that it's not special rights, it's equal rights?

Are you ready to fight for the rights of everyone? Every. One.

Pride is Protest. 

Are you ready?

Happy Pride, everybody!