Trick or Treat...

"You can't knock on the doors if they don't have their porch light on."

"Why not?"

"Because that means they aren't giving out candy."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, because they don't want to?"

"But it's Halloween. They have to."

"They don't have to. Only people who want to give out candy."

"But it's Halloween."

"Some people don't celebrate Halloween."

"But it's trick or treat. If they don't want to give out treats then they get tricks. You can't just not do it."

"We don't trick anyone."

"What?"

"We don't trick anyone. If their lights are on, we knock. We say trick or treat and they give us candy. Then we say thank you and leave." 

"Where does the trick come in?"

"I told you. We don't trick anyone."

"Then why don't we knock and say Candy Me! and then leave?"

"Because that would be kind of rude."

"More rude than turning your light off and not taking the trick if you don't want to treat?"

"Well yes. We have to let people choose."

"Trick OR treat is a choice. That's the whole point of the or."

"But that's not really what we are doing."

"That just seems dumb. It's trick or treat. Not light on or off. Not we have to say a stupid thing that doesn't even mean anything."

"So does that mean you don't want to go?"

"No, I'm still going. But I'm not saying trick or treat if there is no possibility for a trick."

"Fine, just say Happy Halloween then, how about that?"

"Maybe."

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I did not go trick or treating as a little kid. We did the Harvest Festival at church and when we would get home from that the Great Pumpkin would have been by the house and left a treat for me. Usually it was a toy/candy thing with a clear plastic body with a jack o'lantern head that was filled with little candy sprinkles. I have no idea where my parents found them as I've never met anyone else who ever got one. But that was my Halloween for years. (Okay, I just looked it up online and they are selling them on ebay...as vintage. Ouch!)

The first time I ever went trick or treating was my freshman year of high school when I took my nephew out but, because I never went trick or treating I had no real idea what it was about. And because we were always at the Harvest Festival at church we didn't get trick or treaters at the house either so I had no idea what was expected of us. Did we need to be prepared for either a trick or treat? Was our house in constant danger of being egged? I just didn't know. 

So when I took Brian out I was really excited to see what it was all about.

And then I was sort of disappointed. I mean he looked super cute and managed the Trick or Treat and the Thank You! really well. And I was in costume so a few people gave me candy as well even though I had no way of carrying it so it just went in Brian's bucket. Which I ended up carrying after about the third house anyway... But it just wasn't all that great. 

When Katie was little Brent was the one to take her around to houses while I stayed home and doled out the candy. She seemed to enjoy it even though she didn't really like candy all that much so I'm not sure what the thrill was. I guess gift with purchase love runs deep in her bloodline. 

A few years ago at the townhouse I just gave up. We never got very many trick or treaters and so I just turned off the porch light and closed up shop. We went from the super decorated house just begging for kids to the dark porch leave me alone space. And it didn't make much of a difference in the number of kids in our area wandering from house to house. 

This year is the first year in the new place. We didn't decorate but we do have candy to hand out. We have absolutely zero idea if we will get any kids or not. But we are prepared. Not tricks for us. 

But there are never tricks. 

It's all a scam. 

The first kid who comes to the door and says Candy Me! Gets the whole bucket full. Just for honesty...