...and apparently I am making everyone miserable.
Or I was at least.
Or something like that.
Okay, so back to the food wrap up blog I've been going to write, and have written bites of in other blogs. (so to speak)
I'm going to start at the beginning so sorry for the redundant part, but this way I know I've covered it all and my head can dismiss the "pending" file.
This past year my joints have started to really bother me. I thought my arthritis had just really spread and I was just looking at a new normal for me. I first was diagnosed with osteo in my knees almost a decade ago. They are loud and grindy, but after I got some physical therapy and a set of exercises to do to strengthen everything around them they really weren't that big of a deal. A little swelling when the weather changes or when I walk ten miles at Disney, but not that big of a deal really.
But this past year my hands and feet were really in on the action. To the point where in the morning I'd stall as long as I could in bed before taking a deep breath and stepping out. Those first few steps were painful. And the knuckle joint on my pointer finger on my left hand was the worst. I couldn't bend my finger due to the swelling. By 10 or so in the morning everything would be loosened up enough to just be painful but not super painful and swollen. I was making plans for the doctor's visit when the pandemic cleared. Though if I had mentioned to Brent how sore everything was I am guessing that visit timeline would have been moved up.
Well, as most of you know, I had been looking at doing Michael Symon's elimination diet last year when we got home from Disney World, but ended up putting it off due to the difficulty in finding things at the grocery store. I didn't want to try and do something that required specific foods if I couldn't get those things. So I pushed it off. Which was the right call, it would have been hard to do this last year.
Right now you are saying, (or I imagine you are saying) Wait? You said the pain got really bad THIS year, why were you going to do the diet LAST year? Well, because originally the plan was to see if Brent was having a reaction to certain foods. We have thought for years that he must have some food sensitivities but he had never wanted to do an elimination diet because it didn't bother him enough to do one. So I was finally just going to do it and see for myself. But then when I had so much joint pain this year it was an easy sell to see if either of us had issues. Which I was sure that I didn't.
The odd thing with Michael Symon's diet is he didn't eliminate nightshades. Which are a really common inflammation trigger for people. As I discovered. I had rearranged his meal plan a little and ended up grouping the nightshades together about 5 days in, after not having any. I had an almost instant reaction. Face got itchy, hives on my chest, tight breathing, an allergic reaction like someone had slipped me some fennel! And then the next morning, swollen and painful joints. Well, hell. So I cut out nightshades from the remainder of the elimination process and put them on the list to add back in, one at a time so see if it was ALL nightshades or just SOME nightshades.
So at the end of the 10 days I started to add things back in. Meat, pretty clear, though it's best if I don't eat chicken two days in a row. Who knows? Then dairy. And, man, I was so worried about dairy. What was I going to do if cheese or sour cream triggered a reaction? I love dairy. But clear. Which makes sense, they say Northern Europeans have been with the cows (not like BEEN WITH the cows, but been cattle people, dairy farmers) for eons so glow in the dark me wasn't likely to have issues with dairy. I was feeling pretty good. Figured it might be eggplant that was the issue for me but otherwise I'd be fine.
Went on to wheat and...what the fuck? I LOVE bread. This is not possible. I always eat bread. But so painful. So no bread. Maybe pasta will be fine. No pasta. How about sourdough because a lot of people can eat wheat once it's been fermented a bit so...no. No. No. NO. Pay attention here, I'm telling you no! So I'm gluten free now. And funny thing, and PAY ATTENTION thing for me, when we did Atkins years ago when we stopped I felt really ill when we first started eating bread again. I wrote it off to having not eaten it for awhile my body was just having to readjust. No. No that wasn't it. It was that I shouldn't eat bread.
On to the nightshades and...potatoes, those are innocuous right? So plain and easy and NO! Holy shit, that's bad! Tomato? No. Bell peppers? Are you fucking kidding me right now? I said no! Green chile? Well...okay. You can have a little of this, but pay attention because I mean a little. Sometimes. Not every day. And definitely not every meal every day. So it's now a sometimes accompaniment. I've used chile powder as a seasoning and it's okay too. Just a little. I can feel that it could go south pretty quickly. So...a little.
No bread, no nightshades. Holy shit.
Alcohol? Can I drink to numb the pain? Well, a little. But not much. Which is actually fine. And I think just an indication of how little we actually drink. I can feel it the next day in my workout if I have a drink the night before, but it's just a bit of sluggishness, not the reaction like gluten and nightshades get.
Sugar? Yeah, sugar is the same as it's always been. It's just not good for you as a rule to do added sugar. I don't have a specific reaction to it, but I know how much better I've felt overall since we cut WAY back on it and I know that when I was eating more of it during the early pandemic baking frenzy I started to feel lousy so...limit the sugar.
No bread, no nightshades. Holy shit.
Yeah, that's the big takeaway. Brent is fine, pretty much. Tomatoes aren't good for him. Which we had always kind of thought. Just confirmed it. He's not really heartbroken because he doesn't care for tomatoes.
He is following my restrictions though. He doesn't think it's fair for him to be able to eat tortillas when I can't. Or have a hamburger bun. Or a slice of pizza. Or... (sigh) Honestly I feel like it's a slow motion car wreck. I will think about some food, OH! I can get...and then it's like, oh no, I can't. I can't have that again. Unless I want to pay for it the next day.
And I am sure sometimes I will. In fact I know I will at least once more. When we go back to New Mexico to wrap up the one last thing in Ann's estate I'm going to eat at least a little of my foods. I didn't get a chance to prepare for the last time being THE LAST TIME. So... And part of me thinks if I eat it and feel bad immediately I will tie it together and won't miss it so much. Yeah, I don't really believe that either but it's what I'm going to do.
It's been a learning curve. A lot of label reading. A lot of recipe searching. Things are more complicated. I can't just buy gluten free breads because most of them are made with potato starch so I have to be careful of that. I made pizza last week and the first thing I had to do was make my own flour blend, and THEN make the pizza. I have probably a dozen different flours in the pantry right now, brown rice, sweet rice, almond, cassava, oat, on and on. I was going to make a quiche for dinner tonight and backed out when I looked at how long I needed to make the crust. Just the crust. None of it is simple. And part of that is just because I'm not used to it just yet. I'm relearning how to cook. What a "good" dough looks like. How things are supposed to blend. It's all different.
But I feel better.
A lot better.
So much so that I'm realizing my baseline for a very long time has been not well. I cannot even imagine how great I would have felt when I was younger if I had realized I shouldn't eat all of the things that were the bottom base of my pyramid of foods.
I still have some pain in my joints and there are still mornings where I'm a little stiff, but it's not bad at all. I'll still talk to my doctor about it at my annual exam. Because I'm kind of worried that it's rheumatoid arthritis and that's not something I should have and not know about. But I don't have redness or heat in the joints, so who knows...but no matter what I will talk to the doctor about it. I'm just glad I found out that something I was doing was making it worse and it's something that I can control.
And here is the other lesson part.
The universe smacking me down a bit.
See...I have some friends that have serious food allergies and reactions. And I've always accepted that they do. That they know that they can't eat bread, or garlic, or nightshades or shellfish or whatever it is that's making them not feel well...but.... I have rolled my eyes so hard at so many people who are "gluten intolerant." Like it was very trendy for awhile to blame every health issue you had on gluten. Skin problem? Gluten. Digestive issue? Gluten. Overweight? Gluten. Bad credit? Gluten.
I read once that gluten intolerance is a rich white lady disease. When you are poor you don't have food allergies and intolerances. You eat what you get and you're fine. And that kind of resonated with me. Like people were making up issues.
Even though I KNOW people who really do have food issues and I KNOW that they are serious. But that's the people I know. Those strangers? Psht...fakers.
And now here I am. Rich white lady diseased gluten intolerant, with a side of nightshade incompatibility...
Honestly, I am chagrined. Humbled. Ashamed.
For everyone that I didn't believe and rolled my eyes at...I am so sorry. I should have been better about it and I wasn't. I get it now. I totally do. It's a pain in the ass to have to look at every single thing on a menu and then maybe not order it anyway because you aren't sure how it's prepared. The 1,001 Sally like questions and modifications to a meal that have to be made just so you don't feel lousy after eating it. The challenge of even thinking about eating with other people (we have not had to do that yet because...pandemic) and what restaurant can you do that will have something you can eat? And no, Chinese food is not ever going to happen, but maybe Thai?
I am so sorry, it shouldn't have taken a personal experience for me to have understanding for you, dear stranger questioning the waiter. I should have been better. And I absolutely apologize. I'd offer you a cookie to make up but...you know...
So life lessons. Don't sit in judgment over other people who you think are being a bit ridiculous. Because they might not be. And even if they are being ridiculous, it's not your place to judge them. Just let them not eat the bread because it's trendy not to eat the bread, or because if they eat the bread they will have to take a deep bracing breath before they step out of bed in the morning.
And that's a wrap on the food blog finally.
Sort of.
I mean, the whole reason why I couldn't sit down and write it is because it's totally official now. Now it's all out there. If I eat gluten or nightshades I will feel lousy. Those are things that are not part of my diet now. Just need to keep wrapping my head around that and knowing that Cake and Compliments month this year will be things like.. Oh how lovely, I cannot even tell that this cake is made with sawdust and sadness....
Just kidding.
Mostly.
(and just as another reminder as to how hard this is at times, I ate some Nacho Cheese Doritos today. GLUTEN FREE! YAY! And cheese is fine so YAY! But...hey...you know what? There is tomato powder and red and green bell pepper powder in them and so now my hands are swelling and I'm starting to feel a bit off...tomorrow morning will probably not be that great. Good news is that I didn't eat many of them so... but ugh, read all the label, the whole thing, never make assumptions about ingredients or just check for one thing)
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