Well...

 So no big giant blue wave.

It was a hope not a belief but it's still sad to let it go. 

Still waiting on results to see who actually won the presidency. It's looking like it will be extremely tight. Like a state or possibly two deciding. Crazy tight. 

And, of course, Trump has already declared himself the winner and wants all vote counting to stop and is threatening to take it to the Supreme Court. 

Which we knew he would do. 

So we wait.

And the feeling of dread is palpable. 

And the knowledge that half of the voters in this country still supported that man.

After everything he did. 

After everything he showed them that he was. 

Half said, yep, four more years of that sounds good.

We can't say it's not who we are anymore. Honestly we couldn't four years ago but grace and all that...

This is who half of us are. 

And I think that's the part that is making it really rough for a lot of us. We had convinced ourselves that there would be a giant blue wave of voters to repudiate Trump. And that if the Republicans couldn't vote for Biden than at least they wouldn't vote for Trump. They would go third party, or leave it blank, but no. They voted for him. Millions of people voted for him. 

Which even seeing the Trump Caravans and Boat Parades and Death Wish Campaign events you could kind of convince yourself that yeah, sure, he still had a few thousand hard core supporters but not millions...So far it's like 66 million.

Wrap your head around that one. 

I know that Republicans like to mock Liberal tears but...

It's fucking sad as hell. 

It hurts my heart. 

And I know that it means we are no where close to the reconciliation that we needed. There is no reconciling with someone who denies the basic human rights of people you love. There is no reconciling with someone who thinks demonizing people looking for a better way of life is a good thing. There is no reconciling with someone who won't even wear a fucking mask to prevent the spread of a disease that has killed hundreds of thousands of Americans, and will kill hundreds of thousands more. 

That's not someone you reconcile with. It's someone you repudiate. 

And they didn't. 

It's all very sad.