Road Trip!

She was three months in to her massive solo road trip when she almost died.  And honestly it was the only point in the trip were it could have happened. When she had first started out she had been super cautious about everything, partly her own concerns about traveling alone across country but mostly from taking on everyone else's fears for her safety.

For the months before she set off everyone she talked to about the trip had given her some version of "Aren't you scared?" and finally she was. Or if not scared, then at least a little nervous. Her grand visions of adventure had little edges of danger lurking now.

But at about three months in her caution had been replaced with confidence which almost led to catastrophe. She had mistaken "nothing bad has happened" with "nothing bad can happen."

She went on a hike that morning without double checking the weather. It had been beautiful the past three days and that morning had started out the same. The bluest skies she had ever seen. She grabbed her back pack out of the car and headed off down the trail. The plan was she would hike in to the canyon, eat her lunch and then hike back out. The reality was she got part way in to her hike and the skies darkened and the rains came.

She had thought she would walk through the storm, it had come on so suddenly that she had been soaked anyway. And friends who had been raised in the desert had talked about how most storms there only lasted for a little bit before they blew over. She thought sticking to the plan was a good idea. But the mud made her change her mind. She had never experienced mud like that. Thick and grabbing. Every step she would sink in and almost lose her boot trying to pull her foot back out. Which is probably what saved her.

Trying to get away from the thick mud she had walked a little up the rock face of the cliff next to her. She felt a little like a mountain goat trying to walk at an angle on the rocks and was trying to decide if there was enough of a path for her to keep going into the canyon this way when she heard the roar. Her head was still trying to figure out what it was while her instincts were already screaming at her to climb. She got a few feet up when the wall of water came around the bend. She had heard the phrase "gully washer" before but she hadn't fully appreciated what it was until that day. She kept climbing, holding on to every jutting rock she could find, trying to get above the waterline before it got to her but wasn't quite fast enough. She felt the spray hit her leg and knew the next wave would pull her away from the cliff face when suddenly an arm reached out from a small cave in the side of the cliff and grabbed her pulling her up and in.

The two women looked at each other for a minute and then started to laugh. It was the almost hysterical laughter of knowing how bad something could have been. The narrowly missing disaster laugh. The laugh that could have just as easily turned in to sobs. But it didn't. They had both been caught unaware of the potential for disaster hiking the canyon during flash flood season. Neither, infact, had even known there was such a thing as flash flood season until they experienced it.

They spent a few hours holed up in the cave, sharing stories over picnic lunches. Both women on their own having the adventure of a lifetime. They talked about the places they had already been and where they wanted to go next. How exciting it had all been, but also how lonely. The water eventually receded leaving just a muddy walk back to the car. By that time they had decided to travel on together. Her hero had been doing it all on foot, so the thought of driving, hiking and then car camping seemed like luxury. They mapped out a route that would take them to some bucket list areas for both of them before splitting up again in Texas.

It was a great few months. Solitude didn't really bother her much, she loved being alone with her thoughts, really she did. But having someone there who enjoyed what you enjoyed? Who laughed at your stories? Who could sit with you in companionable silence while you both read or watched the sunset or listened to a creek burble by, well that was something too.

When they got to the small town in Texas where they would say their goodbyes they made all of the promises you make to people you meet at places like Summer Camp. "Oh we'll stay in touch!" "Drop by anytime!" She dropped her off in front of an old whitewashed church. Her mother didn't know she was coming and she wanted to surprise her. It had been too long since she had seen her. But she knew her schedule was set in stone and she would be by any moment. It seemed like too personal of a meeting for a third to intrude on so they hugged one more time and separated.

She finished her adventures solo. She had thought that she would be unbearably lonely this time but she had quickly fallen back into her previous rhythms. She had enjoyed having company, but she didn't mind being alone for awhile either. Though when it was time to return home she was more than ready.

Her friends and family were excited to hear about her adventures and also relieved she was home safe. Especially after she told them about her near miss in the canyon. Her brother teased her about being so focused on the scenery that she hadn't bothered to take any pictures of her traveling companion. What was he talking about? Of course she had. She took the stack of pictures from him and found one of the two of them smiling into the camera with a high desert arch behind them. He looked at the picture and started to laugh. She wasn't sure what the joke was until he said he hadn't meant her as her companion, but her friend from the canyon. She took the picture back and...it was just her. Smiling, head tilting toward another head that was no longer there.

She found another picture of the two of them, four bare feet dangling in a stream. She asked her mother what she saw. Her mother took the photo and studied it for a minute. Her guess was she was soaking her feet after a long hike. She took the picture back and now there were only two feet.

Her companion was fading away from each photo as she shared it.

She went to Texas the next summer. She stopped her rental car in front of the old white church and got out. She wasn't sure exactly what she was looking for, proof she wasn't crazy would be good. She walked around the outside of the church and saw the small cemetery in the back. She walked through looking at old headstones, reading names and dates. Then she stopped.

An elderly woman made her way into the gated yard. She stopped next to her. She told her, "She's not here, not really." She jumped.

"I'm sorry, what do you mean?"

"They never found her. I knew she was gone, but we never found her. She had been out hiking in New Mexico the last time we heard from her. She never called again and never came home. I made them hold a service for her anyway. There's no body here, but I wanted someplace to come and remember."

"Oh. I see. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Do you want to hear the funniest thing though?"

The old woman must have seen the puzzled look on her face.

"Not funny, like a joke, funny like odd. Comforting more than funny if you get right down to it. At least for me."

"Okay..."

"I think she came home last year."

"You mean, she's not..."

"Oh no. I mean I think she's here now. Even if her body is lost to us. I think she came back. Last summer in fact. I was standing right here and I swear I heard her say my name and whisper goodbye. I felt such peace. I think she found a way to come home."

"I think you're right. I think she did."

She gave the startled old woman a hug and headed back to her car. Hearing the whisper of thank you on the wind...