Well here we are at the end of 2018 and it's time to see how I did.
2018 Goals List
Picture of the Day. Check. Went ahead with the prompted for the year. I was torn on that one at the beginning of the year, thought it might be time to drop the lists, but I stuck it out for the year. Most of you already know this one won't be making another appearance on tomorrow's list. I lost my taste for it, as Christopher used to say when something he ate on Monday he couldn't stand on Friday... But often what happens is around November I'm bored with it and I think about dropping it. But then I decide not to because there are parts of it that I love. I love the routine, I love the looking at my world to find something that fits, I really love when it sparks a discussion, so I generally go ahead and do it again. But this year the joy in it never came back. It became a countdown to the end of the year so I could quit without feeling like I didn't hit the goal. So it's a check and a done for 2019 (as of now, I've quit before and started again so we will see)
Writing. So this is a weird one. I did not hit my main goal but I hit all of the subs underneath it. Weird right? But the main goal was to write daily. One to two hours just writing. And somewhere along the line I totally forgot that part of the goal. Hunh. So I did not write daily. But the sub goal of 156 blogs? Check (today will make 160). Fifty two fiction pieces? Check (57 altogether). Three submissions? Check (just 3 no bonus here). So somehow I hit all of the milestones without even trying for the main race. Something to think about for 2019 goals.
Reading. Okay, this one is a bit crazy. I had the main book goal of 64 books. Which was a book a week plus an extra a month. Then I hit on the subgoal of 50 books for 50 years. Reading a book that was published in each of the years I've been alive. THEN I took that subgoal and made that list into no repeated authors, reading them in order, AND at least a 50/50 split on male and female authors. Nailed it. I have a spreadsheet with all of the books I chose if anyone is ever interested. It was actually a good challenge because I was often down to my 3rd or 4th choice on books due to availability. I did probably 80% of the list with library books. I also ended up adding another piece to that goal about mid-July when I realized that if I pushed I could get all 50 done by my 50th birthday. OOooh...So I did.
Now, because I did that. Because I chose some books in my list that were childhood favorites, because some of the filler reading I did was graphic novels, because there were a few books that hit my library list at the same time so I was reading at land speed records I am sitting at 97 books for 2018. Just a little outside my goal. Now this is a really high number for me. My average books read (outside of this year, this one bumps my total) is mid-70s. But I blew past it by a bit. And I am only a little disappointed that I wasn't paying closer attention at the beginning of this month so I could have ended the year at 100.
Exercise and fitness. I wanted to hit the gym around 5 days a week and lose another 5 pounds. I average 5 days a week at the gym and I lost 5 pounds. Over and over and over again. I have been as far up as 8 and only as low at 2 pounds down for the year. I kept gaining and losing the same weight all year long. In June at my yearly exam I complained to my doctor about it and she said, "Getting older sucks." I explained to her that I was doing what I had been doing the year before where I lost 13 pounds and yet I was gaining this year and she said, "Yep. It sucks." I was not impressed. But it sucks. It really does. So I did and did not hit this goal this year and it's super frustrating to me. Expect to see a reappearance tomorrow... But end tally, last official 2018 weigh in was last Friday, I am hitting the gym like I should and I gain 5 pounds instead of losing 5. (shrugs)
Monthly goals. I went in to 2018 deciding to set little mini goals each month and I kept up with that. It was a good way to pick up and put down things without feeling tied to them, or like I was failing when I didn't do them. Spanish was a monthly goal a few times and I am just done with it, I think. Honestly I cannot seem to retain much of the vocabulary anymore. I still would like to learn to speak it, but I need to figure out a way to do it that sticks with me for longer than a day. Cooking. That one hit the monthly tally a few times as well and I finally reached the point this year where I could admit that I just don't care for it. I have tried so many things to make it fun, and it's just not. I am a good cook. I can make things just by throwing stuff together that "might be interesting." When I cook at home more we are much more able to control what we are eating. But it's never going to be a fun thing for me to do. So it needs to be moved to the gym column of "things I do to feel well" not the reading and writing columns of "things I do because I love them."
But the monthly goals were nice because I could try things out like the Spanish and cooking and when I realized it was a drag not a joy I could look at them differently. I also used monthly goals to work toward the yearly goals and the long term goals.
Which brings us to the yearly goal list. My living room is still not painted, are you surprised? But there were a lot of other things on the list that got checked off. Again, about half of the long term list was completed. So I'll start next year with the other half and maybe a few new things added.
I did the stars and lists in my calendar and I now have a shiny book full of stars. I thought about dropping it last year and I'm glad I didn't. Just making a daily list of things I want to do helps focus me and keeps me from ending the day wondering where it all went.
So there you go, 2018 in the books.
Reading, writing output, exercise, POD all Gold Stars
Weight, writing time, painting the living room, all a miss.
But overall not a bad balance to the year. I've been working on my 2019 list and I will post that tomorrow.
Happy end of 2018 to you all. I hope the year was everything you wanted it to be, and that you got all of the stars!
Monday, December 31, 2018
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Wrap It Up Fiction...
Okay, that seems to be it for that holiday series I was writing. I had thought there might be a New Year's Eve piece in there where Andrew and Lauren share a midnight toast, but they aren't talking right now. Seems like it was always an I Believe Story in disguise.
Which is weird. Since I decided to write it to get a few more fiction pieces for the year to reach my goal and a holiday series sounded fun. And then when I decided on that path a romantic series seemed the way it was going to go instead of a ghost story. Great. And then there were Andrew and Lauren and all of their friends so it was basically a bar people story just outside of the bar. And then there was that fateful moment when I was in the shower and thought..."Andrew and James are brothers." And it was met with, "OF COURSE THEY ARE!"
But I still didn't know what that meant. James (at that point) was just a friend of Andrew's that I needed in a scene to bring the tie between Andrew and Lauren back to focus. James is my standard dude name, as most of you know, and I didn't even bother changing it when I wrote that section because I didn't think he would feature again. But then...oh then...
So it was never an Andrew and Lauren meet cute story, sorry Julianne, it was always a "how do I bring Carrie and Bob back together in a unique way?" And once I realized that it was all over for everyone else.
Which is weird. Since I decided to write it to get a few more fiction pieces for the year to reach my goal and a holiday series sounded fun. And then when I decided on that path a romantic series seemed the way it was going to go instead of a ghost story. Great. And then there were Andrew and Lauren and all of their friends so it was basically a bar people story just outside of the bar. And then there was that fateful moment when I was in the shower and thought..."Andrew and James are brothers." And it was met with, "OF COURSE THEY ARE!"
But I still didn't know what that meant. James (at that point) was just a friend of Andrew's that I needed in a scene to bring the tie between Andrew and Lauren back to focus. James is my standard dude name, as most of you know, and I didn't even bother changing it when I wrote that section because I didn't think he would feature again. But then...oh then...
So it was never an Andrew and Lauren meet cute story, sorry Julianne, it was always a "how do I bring Carrie and Bob back together in a unique way?" And once I realized that it was all over for everyone else.
It's weird.
Even to me.
I am making these people up, how do they guide me to their story? To what they want to talk about? To a scene where Carrie realizes that Santa Claus is back, and he's performing her marriage ceremony? How in the world was I supposed to know that's what it was all about back on Halloween? How do they even have a story that I didn't give them?
Even to me.
I am making these people up, how do they guide me to their story? To what they want to talk about? To a scene where Carrie realizes that Santa Claus is back, and he's performing her marriage ceremony? How in the world was I supposed to know that's what it was all about back on Halloween? How do they even have a story that I didn't give them?
That's crazy.
And that's writing. At least for me. It's sitting down and listening to the voices in my head as they tell me what they want me to know. What they want YOU to know.
It's pretty cool.
And it's kind of a good life lesson. OH, look! It's been awhile since I did a life lesson tie in!
Sometimes we get really focused on where we think we need to go. Or where we thought we were supposed to go. We forget that we have choices all along the way that we can make. And we sometimes don't pay attention when the path we are walking on isn't the one we should be on. When there is something that makes more sense right over there...
Make sure you are taking the time in your life to really listen. To really think. To pause. To wait. To be sure. And then if you aren't telling your story the way that feels like it should be told, tell a different story. Start again. Shift the narrative.
It's okay.
In fact it will probably (almost certainly) be a better story that way.
It's okay.
In fact it will probably (almost certainly) be a better story that way.
So, for now at least, we leave Andrew and Lauren at Carrie's and James's wedding reception raising a toast to the newlyweds. Carrie is glowing. She always knew he was real, after all, and the fact that he showed up just when they needed him most only proves it. James is just glad that Carrie was so happy with the replacement officiant. And Bob and his lovely wife are off to lead the Christmas Eve meeting and then celebrate their own love story.
It was a romance after all. Just a bigger love story than I thought it would be when I started.
Life lessons....
It was a romance after all. Just a bigger love story than I thought it would be when I started.
Life lessons....
Friday, December 21, 2018
Bells Will Be Ringing...
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Lauren knocked on the door."Andrew? It's Lauren, I've got my uncle with me."
Andrew threw the door open and wrapped her in a giant hug. "Thank god you're here!" He released her realizing that that might have been an over the top gesture, but he had been quietly freaking out that they wouldn't make it on time and they would have to tell Carrie that her perfect day was not going to be so perfect. "I'm sorry, that was...."
Lauren just laughed, "It's okay. I bet you've been frantic. Anyway, this is my uncle..."
James then came around the corner and saw them for the first time. His face first registered shock then a giant smile broke out. "Dude, your suit is awesome! Carrie is going to love that!"
"I'm glad. I was a little worried you might think it was a bit much."
"Oh no, not at all. My fiancée loves Christmas. This is just going to make her even happier. I can't imagine the original minister would ever have a suit like this one!"
Lauren took a step back to really take her uncle in. He had always dressed up for Christmas Eve, it hadn't even struck her as odd when he had put on his dark red suit with the black velvet lapels. The tracing of silver snowflakes only barely visible. Her aunt was similarly outfitted in a skirt and jacket with her collar being black fur, fake of course, but so soft you sort of wanted to just pet her. They really loved to look festive. She smiled to herself thinking of the years they wore the brighter red and white. That might have been a bit too much for even someone who loved Christmas.
"When do we start? Is there time for me to meet the bride?"
"Now. Basically. We are starting now. I'm sorry, do you need to meet her? If not, I'd really just like to stick with the schedule."
"My brother is a bit of a planner. The whole day is timed out so people can be here, have some time at the reception and still get home early for family celebrations."
"That's perfect. My wife and I have plans as well, I think Lauren mentioned that? Anyway, we can get started soon. Just let me get your names written down to make sure I don't forget and tell me about...."
Andrew and Lauren walked away as James explained how they wanted the service to go. "Thank you so much for this. When Julianne told me your uncle was ordained I think I crossed every finger and toe that you could contact him in time."
"He was actually right next to me when you texted. We spend Christmas Eve morning together. When my dad died he really stepped in to...you know what, this is not the time for that conversation. Let's just say that he's a great guy and I am really glad he will be able to help your brother out. He and my aunt will chalk it up to their list of Christmas miracles."
"If we ever tell Carrie she will too." Andrew smiled. "You are sticking around right? I'd like to see you at the reception. I mean, if you don't have other plans? Do you need to go with your aunt and uncle?"
"No, they have a," Lauren paused for a moment, "A thing they do and then they go out to a lovely dinner. They actually met on Christmas Eve so they celebrate it as an anniversary. So as long as James and Carrie don't mind a stranger there my schedule is free."
"I still have my plus one open so..."
Lauren smiled again. "Great. I'll see you after the service."
-------
Carrie walked down the aisle to Christmas bells. She carried a bouquet of white roses with sprigs of red berries and green holly leaves. James thought she was the most beautiful bride he had ever seen and the fact that she looked a little like a snow angel made me smile even more. She was as Carrie as he had ever seen her be. And soon she would be his wife. His partner in Christmas fun for the rest of their lives.
She smiled at him. Then her eyes moved over to the minister and there was a moment of forehead creasing that he saw. Then shock. Her eyes widened and she stared at their officiant. This was not who they had hired, this was...
She reached the end of the aisle and tore her eyes away from him and back to James. It was a trick of light. And honestly it couldn't...
"Friends and family, we are gathered here on this glorious Christmas Eve..."
She turned again to look at him. Really look at him. And this time he saw her as well. Saw the familiar line to her jaw. The same deep brown of her eyes. She whispered, "Is it you? Is it really you?"
He smiled and nodded and they went on with the service both smiling at each other with tears glistening in their eyes. It was a beautiful wedding, everyone said so. Filled with so much love you could feel it rolling off of everyone there.
Lauren had stood in the back with her aunt who had actually gasped when she saw Carrie for the first time. She had been so lovely that Lauren understood why.
After the service was over the guests headed over to the ballroom for the reception and the photographer stepped in to take pictures. Carrie smiled at James, "How did you do it?"
"How did I do what?"
"How did you find him?"
James knew then that he was busted, Carrie knew that there had been a last minute switch from the minister they had first hired. He had hoped that she wouldn't remember what he looked like, but Carrie never forgot a face. "We were really lucky..." he started to explain when their substitute officiant came over.
Carrie turned and looked at him again. Her smile radiating joy. "It really is you, isn't it?"
He took her hands, "It is. You remember my wife?" He stepped to the side and Lauren's aunt opened her arms for a hug.
"It is so good to see you. We think of you often."
Carrie couldn't help it, the tears started to flow.
"Oh don't, don't, you'll smear your makeup!" Lauren's aunt pulled a tissue from her sleeve and dabbed away Carrie's tears.
"I just can't believe you are here." she turned to James, "It's perfect. You made the day ever more perfect."
James was not sure how he done that, but she was happy so he was happy.
"We can't stay, we have someplace we need to be..."
Carrie laughed, "Well of course you do. It's Christmas Eve after all! Thank you for being here. I just...thank you."
They all hugged again and posed for a few pictures then Carrie and James headed for the reception. Carrie stopped in the hallway and kissed James again. "I don't know how you did it. I don't know that I want to know, but thank you. Marrying you was all I wanted, but... Santa and Mrs. Claus. On Christmas Eve. I never thought I would see them again, and you made it happen."
James looked shocked and then turned to watch Lauren's aunt and uncle walk away. Santa and Mrs. Claus? He shook his head when he could swear he heard the jingle bells ring.
------------
As Bob led his traditional Christmas Eve meeting he kept thinking about seeing Carrie get married. He met his wife's gaze over the seats of those that needed this meeting and those that needed even more. "Christmas can be a time for miracles. I'm here to tell you about my worst Christmas and how it turned out to be the best for me. And for those of you who have heard my story before, stick around, we've switched up the ending this year." Laughter filled the room. Bob did love this meeting. It had saved his life.
He smiled at his wife again. His life was full.
"Santa Claus is my higher power..."
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Lauren knocked on the door."Andrew? It's Lauren, I've got my uncle with me."
Andrew threw the door open and wrapped her in a giant hug. "Thank god you're here!" He released her realizing that that might have been an over the top gesture, but he had been quietly freaking out that they wouldn't make it on time and they would have to tell Carrie that her perfect day was not going to be so perfect. "I'm sorry, that was...."
Lauren just laughed, "It's okay. I bet you've been frantic. Anyway, this is my uncle..."
James then came around the corner and saw them for the first time. His face first registered shock then a giant smile broke out. "Dude, your suit is awesome! Carrie is going to love that!"
"I'm glad. I was a little worried you might think it was a bit much."
"Oh no, not at all. My fiancée loves Christmas. This is just going to make her even happier. I can't imagine the original minister would ever have a suit like this one!"
Lauren took a step back to really take her uncle in. He had always dressed up for Christmas Eve, it hadn't even struck her as odd when he had put on his dark red suit with the black velvet lapels. The tracing of silver snowflakes only barely visible. Her aunt was similarly outfitted in a skirt and jacket with her collar being black fur, fake of course, but so soft you sort of wanted to just pet her. They really loved to look festive. She smiled to herself thinking of the years they wore the brighter red and white. That might have been a bit too much for even someone who loved Christmas.
"When do we start? Is there time for me to meet the bride?"
"Now. Basically. We are starting now. I'm sorry, do you need to meet her? If not, I'd really just like to stick with the schedule."
"My brother is a bit of a planner. The whole day is timed out so people can be here, have some time at the reception and still get home early for family celebrations."
"That's perfect. My wife and I have plans as well, I think Lauren mentioned that? Anyway, we can get started soon. Just let me get your names written down to make sure I don't forget and tell me about...."
Andrew and Lauren walked away as James explained how they wanted the service to go. "Thank you so much for this. When Julianne told me your uncle was ordained I think I crossed every finger and toe that you could contact him in time."
"He was actually right next to me when you texted. We spend Christmas Eve morning together. When my dad died he really stepped in to...you know what, this is not the time for that conversation. Let's just say that he's a great guy and I am really glad he will be able to help your brother out. He and my aunt will chalk it up to their list of Christmas miracles."
"If we ever tell Carrie she will too." Andrew smiled. "You are sticking around right? I'd like to see you at the reception. I mean, if you don't have other plans? Do you need to go with your aunt and uncle?"
"No, they have a," Lauren paused for a moment, "A thing they do and then they go out to a lovely dinner. They actually met on Christmas Eve so they celebrate it as an anniversary. So as long as James and Carrie don't mind a stranger there my schedule is free."
"I still have my plus one open so..."
Lauren smiled again. "Great. I'll see you after the service."
-------
Carrie walked down the aisle to Christmas bells. She carried a bouquet of white roses with sprigs of red berries and green holly leaves. James thought she was the most beautiful bride he had ever seen and the fact that she looked a little like a snow angel made me smile even more. She was as Carrie as he had ever seen her be. And soon she would be his wife. His partner in Christmas fun for the rest of their lives.
She smiled at him. Then her eyes moved over to the minister and there was a moment of forehead creasing that he saw. Then shock. Her eyes widened and she stared at their officiant. This was not who they had hired, this was...
She reached the end of the aisle and tore her eyes away from him and back to James. It was a trick of light. And honestly it couldn't...
"Friends and family, we are gathered here on this glorious Christmas Eve..."
She turned again to look at him. Really look at him. And this time he saw her as well. Saw the familiar line to her jaw. The same deep brown of her eyes. She whispered, "Is it you? Is it really you?"
He smiled and nodded and they went on with the service both smiling at each other with tears glistening in their eyes. It was a beautiful wedding, everyone said so. Filled with so much love you could feel it rolling off of everyone there.
Lauren had stood in the back with her aunt who had actually gasped when she saw Carrie for the first time. She had been so lovely that Lauren understood why.
After the service was over the guests headed over to the ballroom for the reception and the photographer stepped in to take pictures. Carrie smiled at James, "How did you do it?"
"How did I do what?"
"How did you find him?"
James knew then that he was busted, Carrie knew that there had been a last minute switch from the minister they had first hired. He had hoped that she wouldn't remember what he looked like, but Carrie never forgot a face. "We were really lucky..." he started to explain when their substitute officiant came over.
Carrie turned and looked at him again. Her smile radiating joy. "It really is you, isn't it?"
He took her hands, "It is. You remember my wife?" He stepped to the side and Lauren's aunt opened her arms for a hug.
"It is so good to see you. We think of you often."
Carrie couldn't help it, the tears started to flow.
"Oh don't, don't, you'll smear your makeup!" Lauren's aunt pulled a tissue from her sleeve and dabbed away Carrie's tears.
"I just can't believe you are here." she turned to James, "It's perfect. You made the day ever more perfect."
James was not sure how he done that, but she was happy so he was happy.
"We can't stay, we have someplace we need to be..."
Carrie laughed, "Well of course you do. It's Christmas Eve after all! Thank you for being here. I just...thank you."
They all hugged again and posed for a few pictures then Carrie and James headed for the reception. Carrie stopped in the hallway and kissed James again. "I don't know how you did it. I don't know that I want to know, but thank you. Marrying you was all I wanted, but... Santa and Mrs. Claus. On Christmas Eve. I never thought I would see them again, and you made it happen."
James looked shocked and then turned to watch Lauren's aunt and uncle walk away. Santa and Mrs. Claus? He shook his head when he could swear he heard the jingle bells ring.
------------
As Bob led his traditional Christmas Eve meeting he kept thinking about seeing Carrie get married. He met his wife's gaze over the seats of those that needed this meeting and those that needed even more. "Christmas can be a time for miracles. I'm here to tell you about my worst Christmas and how it turned out to be the best for me. And for those of you who have heard my story before, stick around, we've switched up the ending this year." Laughter filled the room. Bob did love this meeting. It had saved his life.
He smiled at his wife again. His life was full.
"Santa Claus is my higher power..."
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Christmas Eve Panic...
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
James was frantic. Andrew was trying to get him to calm down enough to tell him what was wrong.
"SON OF A BITCH! MOTHERFUCKER!"
"Dude, you're going to have to tell me what's up. It's your wedding day, you cannot be this mad on your wedding day."
"There isn't going to be a wedding!"
Andrew was stunned. James and Carrie were perfect for each other. Cancel the wedding on the day of? There was no way that was going to happen. "What? Are you serious? What happened? Is Carrie okay? Are you okay? What's going on?"
James tooks a deep breath, "Carrie's fine. She doesn't even know yet. I don't know how I'm going to tell her. I....SHIT FUCK DAMN!" With that James shoved his phone toward Andrew.
Andrew read the text. "Motherfucker...that asshole."
"You see? You see what I mean? What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
Andrew looked at the text again. The minister they had hired for the service had cancelled at the last minute. Who does that? And on Christmas Eve it wasn't like they were going to find an abundance of people without plans. But still he was the Best Man and this fell squarely in to Best Man handles shit that goes wrong duties.
"Don't tell Carrie. Not yet. Let me see what I can do."
James shook his head, "I don't know that there is anything we can do..."
Andrew was already texting Julianne. She was their most connected friend. If anyone knew a minister who would be free on Christmas Eve it was her. "Let me reach out to see if anyone knows anyone who can do it."
James was still shaking his head, "Nobody is going to know anyone that's ridiculous. We're screwed."
Andrew's phone buzzed, "Maybe not Julianne has a lead." Then Andrew laughed.
"Nothing is funny here, bud!"
"Sorry, you're right, it's not funny ha ha, it's funny odd. Let me see if I can do this."
Andrew sent a thank you to Julianne and then another text message out to see if he could get this fixed for James before Carrie even knew there was a problem.
--------------
Lauren was putting a tray of cookies in the oven when her phone buzzed. She saw who the text was from and smiled a little. A Christmas Eve text? Well that was kind of nice. She hadn't really planned on contacting him until after the holidays but if he was messaging her...She smiled as she opened the message.
Her uncle and his wife had been watching the whole drama play out on her face. They smiled at each other as she mouthed, "It must be a boy."
Lauren looked up from her phone, "Do you want to go to a wedding?"
"Us?"
"Yeah, seems someone needs an emergency preacher. You are still ordained right?"
Her uncle had gotten ordained online a few years ago just to be able to perform wedding services for a friend of theirs. He had done it a few times since. Seems he was a real romantic at heart and had enjoyed doing them.
"Emergency when?"
Lauren looked at her watch, "In like a hour? Friends of a friend are getting married today and their minister canceled at the last minute. They are a little desperate and you are the only ordained minister we all know."
Her uncle laughed, "In an hour? I can fit that in, I think, as long as we don't have a long service to deal with. We've still got plans for later tonight, but...are you okay with the change in plans?"
They had been going to watch Elf and eat Christmas cookies then exchange gifts before he needed to leave.
Lauren and her aunt agreed that it was worth the change in plans. Some things overrode Christmas Eve relaxing and this seemed to fit that bill.
She smiled at her aunt and uncle, they really were the best. "Let me text Andrew back and tell him we've got it covered."
"Is Andrew the groom?" Her aunt asked.
"Oh no! He's the Best Man. His brother is the groom."
"So, he's single?"
Lauren blushed just a little. "Stop it."
She sent the text and they all went to change in to more appropriate wedding attire.
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
James was frantic. Andrew was trying to get him to calm down enough to tell him what was wrong.
"SON OF A BITCH! MOTHERFUCKER!"
"Dude, you're going to have to tell me what's up. It's your wedding day, you cannot be this mad on your wedding day."
"There isn't going to be a wedding!"
Andrew was stunned. James and Carrie were perfect for each other. Cancel the wedding on the day of? There was no way that was going to happen. "What? Are you serious? What happened? Is Carrie okay? Are you okay? What's going on?"
James tooks a deep breath, "Carrie's fine. She doesn't even know yet. I don't know how I'm going to tell her. I....SHIT FUCK DAMN!" With that James shoved his phone toward Andrew.
Andrew read the text. "Motherfucker...that asshole."
"You see? You see what I mean? What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
Andrew looked at the text again. The minister they had hired for the service had cancelled at the last minute. Who does that? And on Christmas Eve it wasn't like they were going to find an abundance of people without plans. But still he was the Best Man and this fell squarely in to Best Man handles shit that goes wrong duties.
"Don't tell Carrie. Not yet. Let me see what I can do."
James shook his head, "I don't know that there is anything we can do..."
Andrew was already texting Julianne. She was their most connected friend. If anyone knew a minister who would be free on Christmas Eve it was her. "Let me reach out to see if anyone knows anyone who can do it."
James was still shaking his head, "Nobody is going to know anyone that's ridiculous. We're screwed."
Andrew's phone buzzed, "Maybe not Julianne has a lead." Then Andrew laughed.
"Nothing is funny here, bud!"
"Sorry, you're right, it's not funny ha ha, it's funny odd. Let me see if I can do this."
Andrew sent a thank you to Julianne and then another text message out to see if he could get this fixed for James before Carrie even knew there was a problem.
--------------
Lauren was putting a tray of cookies in the oven when her phone buzzed. She saw who the text was from and smiled a little. A Christmas Eve text? Well that was kind of nice. She hadn't really planned on contacting him until after the holidays but if he was messaging her...She smiled as she opened the message.
Her uncle and his wife had been watching the whole drama play out on her face. They smiled at each other as she mouthed, "It must be a boy."
Lauren looked up from her phone, "Do you want to go to a wedding?"
"Us?"
"Yeah, seems someone needs an emergency preacher. You are still ordained right?"
Her uncle had gotten ordained online a few years ago just to be able to perform wedding services for a friend of theirs. He had done it a few times since. Seems he was a real romantic at heart and had enjoyed doing them.
"Emergency when?"
Lauren looked at her watch, "In like a hour? Friends of a friend are getting married today and their minister canceled at the last minute. They are a little desperate and you are the only ordained minister we all know."
Her uncle laughed, "In an hour? I can fit that in, I think, as long as we don't have a long service to deal with. We've still got plans for later tonight, but...are you okay with the change in plans?"
They had been going to watch Elf and eat Christmas cookies then exchange gifts before he needed to leave.
Lauren and her aunt agreed that it was worth the change in plans. Some things overrode Christmas Eve relaxing and this seemed to fit that bill.
She smiled at her aunt and uncle, they really were the best. "Let me text Andrew back and tell him we've got it covered."
"Is Andrew the groom?" Her aunt asked.
"Oh no! He's the Best Man. His brother is the groom."
"So, he's single?"
Lauren blushed just a little. "Stop it."
She sent the text and they all went to change in to more appropriate wedding attire.
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Crazy Love...
"...what?"
"What, what?"
"What did you just say? I mean I don't think I could have heard that right."
"Oh. I just said I'm not crazy so I can't see you anymore."
"I'm really not following."
"You don't have to follow really. It's pretty simple. I'm feeling much better now so I'm breaking up with you."
"Breaking up with me? Because you are feeling better?"
"Yes."
"I'm still a little lost."
"Okay, see, I was in a manic phase. Which, I know, you probably didn't even recognize, it just seems like I'm really fun and kind of a party girl to the outside, but it was a phase. I wasn't thinking really clearly. Now that's over and I'm looking around at what I did and what I need to clear out now that I'm better and well, that's you."
He just looked lost. Poor little lamb. She knew that it was hard sometimes. Not just for her. She was used to the personality swings, or if not used to them she knew what they were. This was not the first time she had had to clean up some messes after coming out of a manic phase. At least she was good at keeping receipts. Not like, metaphorical receipts, like the kids these days called them, but actual store receipts. She tended to shop when she was manic. And paint. Not like canvases, but her house. Bright colors. Teal. Hot Pink. Electric Blue.
She looked down at her feet, yep, a gallon of paint. Apparently the living room was about a half hour away from its first coat of turquoise paint.
"So you're saying that you were crazy and now you aren't and so you are breaking up with me?"
"Well, okay, that was bad phrasing on my part. I'm always a little crazy. And yes, I KNOW, people hate the term crazy. They think it's derogatory. Chemically imbalanced just sounds worse to me, you know? And I'd NEVER describe someone else as crazy, but I like crazy for me. It kind of fits the way I feel about it. I go a little crazy now and again, and really it's a lot of fun and I recommend it highly, as long as you keep your receipts...but anyway...Yes, even though the phrasing is bad, I was a little crazy, now that's over so I am breaking up with you. And returning this paint, apparently."
He nodded. Still looking a little puzzled by her sudden change of heart, but he seemed to be taking it very well. Which really relieved her. Sometimes they just didn't. She reached over and patted his knee, "Thank you for being so understanding." Then she grabbed her paint can and walked away just leaving him sitting waiting for the Max train.
"Hey! Sorry, that took so long! We didn't miss the next train did we? Here." His buddy came dashing over and handed him a cup of coffee.
He shook his head, "Nah. It's been fairly quiet here. You did just miss me getting dumped, but other than that nothing."
"Dumped? I didn't know you were dating?"
"Neither did I. But that made the breakup go a lot smoother."
His friend looked at him like he was crazy. And he might have been because all he could think was that he really should have gotten her number before she walked away.
"What, what?"
"What did you just say? I mean I don't think I could have heard that right."
"Oh. I just said I'm not crazy so I can't see you anymore."
"I'm really not following."
"You don't have to follow really. It's pretty simple. I'm feeling much better now so I'm breaking up with you."
"Breaking up with me? Because you are feeling better?"
"Yes."
"I'm still a little lost."
"Okay, see, I was in a manic phase. Which, I know, you probably didn't even recognize, it just seems like I'm really fun and kind of a party girl to the outside, but it was a phase. I wasn't thinking really clearly. Now that's over and I'm looking around at what I did and what I need to clear out now that I'm better and well, that's you."
He just looked lost. Poor little lamb. She knew that it was hard sometimes. Not just for her. She was used to the personality swings, or if not used to them she knew what they were. This was not the first time she had had to clean up some messes after coming out of a manic phase. At least she was good at keeping receipts. Not like, metaphorical receipts, like the kids these days called them, but actual store receipts. She tended to shop when she was manic. And paint. Not like canvases, but her house. Bright colors. Teal. Hot Pink. Electric Blue.
She looked down at her feet, yep, a gallon of paint. Apparently the living room was about a half hour away from its first coat of turquoise paint.
"So you're saying that you were crazy and now you aren't and so you are breaking up with me?"
"Well, okay, that was bad phrasing on my part. I'm always a little crazy. And yes, I KNOW, people hate the term crazy. They think it's derogatory. Chemically imbalanced just sounds worse to me, you know? And I'd NEVER describe someone else as crazy, but I like crazy for me. It kind of fits the way I feel about it. I go a little crazy now and again, and really it's a lot of fun and I recommend it highly, as long as you keep your receipts...but anyway...Yes, even though the phrasing is bad, I was a little crazy, now that's over so I am breaking up with you. And returning this paint, apparently."
He nodded. Still looking a little puzzled by her sudden change of heart, but he seemed to be taking it very well. Which really relieved her. Sometimes they just didn't. She reached over and patted his knee, "Thank you for being so understanding." Then she grabbed her paint can and walked away just leaving him sitting waiting for the Max train.
"Hey! Sorry, that took so long! We didn't miss the next train did we? Here." His buddy came dashing over and handed him a cup of coffee.
He shook his head, "Nah. It's been fairly quiet here. You did just miss me getting dumped, but other than that nothing."
"Dumped? I didn't know you were dating?"
"Neither did I. But that made the breakup go a lot smoother."
His friend looked at him like he was crazy. And he might have been because all he could think was that he really should have gotten her number before she walked away.
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
And Done...
Well that's that. The last piece I submitted this year was rejected. I reached my goal. Not rejection, but submissions. I set out to submit three pieces and I did. And all of them were summarily dismissed. Which I expected.
Though I am going to admit this one stings a little. I actually thought I had a shot with this one. When you do contests, or journal submissions you look at archives and see what type of stories they usually accept. Now, I rarely fit their niche. I still submit because I think what I've got fits their theme, or I really like it, or I just need to get three pieces out in to the world and this totally counts...but...usually I can see that my chances are not good.
Most of these places like literature. Things that you feel a little dumber while you are reading them because they are so fancy. Let's be honest here, pretentious pieces. It happens. There are a lot of books out there like that. A LOT. And they aren't my favorite. But they work for a lot of people, obviously, or they wouldn't be published. But I prefer the smaller stories. The characters. The quirky and the odd.
Which is where this latest submission came in. I read a few of their things and though I had some misgivings (I'll circle back) I really thought I had a shot. It's super flash fiction. Fewer than 250 words. Themed. And they were a quirky online journal. Now here is where my misgivings came in. There was a lot on there that seemed quirky for quirky's sake. And a lot that were really boho. I live in Portland, I grew up with the hippies of Albuquerque art scenes I know some boho...but it's not where I thrive. But I still thought, I've got a quirky little story that I think will work really well.
Submitted and waited. And waited. And waited. Now this gets me everytime it happens. A quick rejection is easier. No time to get your hopes up. And in the case of just straight up submitting for publishing (no contest or journal deadline) you sometimes get ZERO response at all which also sucks, but if it's a contest or a journal like this one and you don't hear back and don't hear back and it's getting closer and closer to the deadline you start to get your hopes up a little. Like surely they are passing me up the chain right now marvelling at their great fortune in finding such a new and shining talent!
But, alas, no...I got the rejection today. It was the sweetest rejection ever. Told me how brave I was to submit and how it wasn't me, it was them. See, my story just didn't fit their theme that was all.
Which made me laugh. Because of all the excuses you could give me that I would believe, that wasn't one of them. But oh well...at least it means I got another blog out of this and I think that puts me one away from my goal for this year so that's good.
Oh and their theme? Love letters.
And here is my piece:
Though I am going to admit this one stings a little. I actually thought I had a shot with this one. When you do contests, or journal submissions you look at archives and see what type of stories they usually accept. Now, I rarely fit their niche. I still submit because I think what I've got fits their theme, or I really like it, or I just need to get three pieces out in to the world and this totally counts...but...usually I can see that my chances are not good.
Most of these places like literature. Things that you feel a little dumber while you are reading them because they are so fancy. Let's be honest here, pretentious pieces. It happens. There are a lot of books out there like that. A LOT. And they aren't my favorite. But they work for a lot of people, obviously, or they wouldn't be published. But I prefer the smaller stories. The characters. The quirky and the odd.
Which is where this latest submission came in. I read a few of their things and though I had some misgivings (I'll circle back) I really thought I had a shot. It's super flash fiction. Fewer than 250 words. Themed. And they were a quirky online journal. Now here is where my misgivings came in. There was a lot on there that seemed quirky for quirky's sake. And a lot that were really boho. I live in Portland, I grew up with the hippies of Albuquerque art scenes I know some boho...but it's not where I thrive. But I still thought, I've got a quirky little story that I think will work really well.
Submitted and waited. And waited. And waited. Now this gets me everytime it happens. A quick rejection is easier. No time to get your hopes up. And in the case of just straight up submitting for publishing (no contest or journal deadline) you sometimes get ZERO response at all which also sucks, but if it's a contest or a journal like this one and you don't hear back and don't hear back and it's getting closer and closer to the deadline you start to get your hopes up a little. Like surely they are passing me up the chain right now marvelling at their great fortune in finding such a new and shining talent!
But, alas, no...I got the rejection today. It was the sweetest rejection ever. Told me how brave I was to submit and how it wasn't me, it was them. See, my story just didn't fit their theme that was all.
Which made me laugh. Because of all the excuses you could give me that I would believe, that wasn't one of them. But oh well...at least it means I got another blog out of this and I think that puts me one away from my goal for this year so that's good.
Oh and their theme? Love letters.
And here is my piece:
Love Letters
She opened the letter and smiled. Then she pressed it against
her heart and smiled again. “Someone is happy. What does it say?” Her friend
reached out to take the note from her.
Reading it. Confused. “What does that mean?”
She smiled even bigger.
When she was a child she used to make up stories in her head
about everything around her. Numbers; 7 was in love with 8 but she was in love
with the number 9 and would have nothing to do with him so he spent his whole
life jealous not realizing that 5 was in love with him. She realized that not everyone did this when
she mentioned it in class one day and everyone laughed. It didn’t stop her from making up the
stories, but it did stop her from sharing them.
Until she told him that her favorite letters were B and W
because they were b and v doubled and mirrored. Two letters that had loved each
other so much that they had made themselves in to one letter to be together
forever.
“I don’t get it. Just
the letter B with a question mark. B? What does that mean?”
“Everything.”
She wrote back that day. W!
Sunday, December 9, 2018
We Aren't Designed For This...
Brent and I went to a Christmas show today. It was okay, not great, not horrible, just okay. But part of it is probably one of my favorite theater experiences I've had in a long long time.
The show consisted of two parts, the first part was a recitation of a Truman Capote short story. It was well done. A one man show basically. Well acted, well performed. Moving story. If you like stories that are just slice of life sort of pieces, which I do, so it worked for me.
The second part was winter songs. Not necessarily holiday, but some holiday, but winter feeling songs. Songs about going home. Those sorts of things. And this part was one guy at the piano and two performers. The guy that did the Truman Capote story and a woman. They sang and told stories. Lovely voices. Stories that were memories of their lives and past holidays.
So one of these stories was from the guy. He talked about being in London when he was young. He was on his own and headed to a hostel for the evening. He had just gotten off the tube and was jostled in the crowd. Realized a few feet later that he hadn't been bumped, he'd been mugged. So the money he was going to spend at the hostel was gone. He was broke. There was a piano there from one of those "Art Everywhere" installations and he sat down to play. Put his hat down to collect some money, hopefully enough for his night in the hostel and maybe a beer. He sang the song he sang that day and talked about the hope in his heart at Christmas. Well he finished his song and turned to collect his take and...someone had stolen his hat. So now he is going to sleep in the train station. With zero money and the same amount of faith in his fellow man.
And he left the stage. Ended the story on that note.
The audience didn't know what to do with that. At all.
You could feel it. The AND?? reaction. They were waiting for the happy ending. They wanted him to say "and then the millionaire gave me tickets to fly home on his private jet" or "and that's the night I met the love of my life." To be perfectly honest, I was not. As soon as he said he put his hat down I thought, someone steals his hat. Because that's how I would write the story. I loved this moment in the theater. The waiting. The reaction from the audience. The waiting feeling for the "more" part. The happy ending. The ending that wasn't coming.
It's often how I write the story. There is no happy ending. Or even a tidy one. I leave things open ended. Or sad. Or awful. Because that's the way life works.
We are all programmed to look for that happy ending. Or that tidy one. The one where every problem can be solved in 20 minutes. Or if it's a feature film two hours.
I see it playing out in real life all of the time. It's part of why I have been couching my posts about the latest Trump revelations with "I don't think anything will come of this." We want there to be lines that are drawn. Good guys and bad guys. And we really want the bad guys to be punished. And that often doesn't happen in the real world. If the bad guys have enough money they don't ever face consequences. In this case the establishment that can bring about charges will most likely not because they need him. They want him just where he is so they can do what they want. He's useful to them so they don't care about right or wrong in this case. The ends justify the means.
It happens most of the time. You would think we would be used to it.
But we aren't.
We crave happy endings. Where the good guys are rewarded, the bad guys are punished and there are clear lines showing us who the good and bad guys are. Those are the stories we tell ourselves.
Except for you all. You who read my stories. Where there isn't always a tidy ending. Where a simple happy ending is a rare treat.
Just think of it as me preparing you for the world. You wouldn't sit in that audience and think AND?? Where is the rest of the story? You'd just be glad he didn't crush his fingers in the piano.
You're welcome.
The show consisted of two parts, the first part was a recitation of a Truman Capote short story. It was well done. A one man show basically. Well acted, well performed. Moving story. If you like stories that are just slice of life sort of pieces, which I do, so it worked for me.
The second part was winter songs. Not necessarily holiday, but some holiday, but winter feeling songs. Songs about going home. Those sorts of things. And this part was one guy at the piano and two performers. The guy that did the Truman Capote story and a woman. They sang and told stories. Lovely voices. Stories that were memories of their lives and past holidays.
So one of these stories was from the guy. He talked about being in London when he was young. He was on his own and headed to a hostel for the evening. He had just gotten off the tube and was jostled in the crowd. Realized a few feet later that he hadn't been bumped, he'd been mugged. So the money he was going to spend at the hostel was gone. He was broke. There was a piano there from one of those "Art Everywhere" installations and he sat down to play. Put his hat down to collect some money, hopefully enough for his night in the hostel and maybe a beer. He sang the song he sang that day and talked about the hope in his heart at Christmas. Well he finished his song and turned to collect his take and...someone had stolen his hat. So now he is going to sleep in the train station. With zero money and the same amount of faith in his fellow man.
And he left the stage. Ended the story on that note.
The audience didn't know what to do with that. At all.
You could feel it. The AND?? reaction. They were waiting for the happy ending. They wanted him to say "and then the millionaire gave me tickets to fly home on his private jet" or "and that's the night I met the love of my life." To be perfectly honest, I was not. As soon as he said he put his hat down I thought, someone steals his hat. Because that's how I would write the story. I loved this moment in the theater. The waiting. The reaction from the audience. The waiting feeling for the "more" part. The happy ending. The ending that wasn't coming.
It's often how I write the story. There is no happy ending. Or even a tidy one. I leave things open ended. Or sad. Or awful. Because that's the way life works.
We are all programmed to look for that happy ending. Or that tidy one. The one where every problem can be solved in 20 minutes. Or if it's a feature film two hours.
I see it playing out in real life all of the time. It's part of why I have been couching my posts about the latest Trump revelations with "I don't think anything will come of this." We want there to be lines that are drawn. Good guys and bad guys. And we really want the bad guys to be punished. And that often doesn't happen in the real world. If the bad guys have enough money they don't ever face consequences. In this case the establishment that can bring about charges will most likely not because they need him. They want him just where he is so they can do what they want. He's useful to them so they don't care about right or wrong in this case. The ends justify the means.
It happens most of the time. You would think we would be used to it.
But we aren't.
We crave happy endings. Where the good guys are rewarded, the bad guys are punished and there are clear lines showing us who the good and bad guys are. Those are the stories we tell ourselves.
Except for you all. You who read my stories. Where there isn't always a tidy ending. Where a simple happy ending is a rare treat.
Just think of it as me preparing you for the world. You wouldn't sit in that audience and think AND?? Where is the rest of the story? You'd just be glad he didn't crush his fingers in the piano.
You're welcome.
Saturday, December 8, 2018
Pre-Gaming...
Or pre-goaling as the case may be.
Starting to look at 2019 goal ideas. I have one new one so far. Have you heard of MasterClass? Here's a link if you have and you want to sign up, I get three free months if use my code, full disclosure. :-) Click HERE if you decide to do it.
Anyway, so it's the first thing on my goals list. I signed up because they are going to have a course from Neil Gaiman and Brent convinced me I would regret not taking it. So anyway, when I decided to sign up I did the full year and figured I would get as much out of it as possible. So a class a month. BOOM! First goal.
Then this led to thinking maybe a themed year of goals? Maybe I spend a whole year just focusing on writing and education? Not sure yet. But it's an idea.
I'm also starting to look at last year's goals and figuring out what I've hit and what I've missed. I won't really get serious about that for a few weeks and of course I'll post the recap blog at the end of this month. But what the pre-review shows me is what I really cared about doing. The ones that were important to me I made a priority and finished. The others? Well...let's just say that living painting is STILL not done...
But in setting next year it helps to know what I cared about this year. Not every goal should be a comfort zone one, there needs to be stretching, but there is no point in setting goals I will never hit because I don't really care about them.
One of this year's big goals has actually helped in that area a lot. Sorting my old blogs gave me a chance to re-read them and see the areas where I've worked really hard in the past to convince myself I cared about certain things. The things I sort of feel like I should care about, or be better at but I just don't and I'm just not. So I think that might be a goal for next year as well. To let go of those things. To stop trying to convince myself that I really should do x, y or z.
I'm not sure yet.
I did actually have the November stretch, as I always seem to, where I seriously considered having zero goals for next year. No brass rings to reach for. No stars, no stickers, no lists. And as it always does, in November, it really sounded kind of cool. Then I remembered who I was and laughed and laughed and laughed. Let go of x, y or z, put that on a list!
So why am I writing this today? Surely not because I still need a handful of blogs to reach the 2018 goal...surely not that...Okay, maybe a little of that. But honestly if you are reading this tell me what you are going to work on for 2019. I'm curious and I'm not above stealing a good idea. So let me know, what do you want to accomplish in 2019?
So far I'm taking MasterClasses
I'm letting go of more of what I'm not (#fiftyisnifty)
I'm sticking with Daily Gratitude
I'm sticking with #selfiesaturday
And....hmmm...what else?
Starting to look at 2019 goal ideas. I have one new one so far. Have you heard of MasterClass? Here's a link if you have and you want to sign up, I get three free months if use my code, full disclosure. :-) Click HERE if you decide to do it.
Anyway, so it's the first thing on my goals list. I signed up because they are going to have a course from Neil Gaiman and Brent convinced me I would regret not taking it. So anyway, when I decided to sign up I did the full year and figured I would get as much out of it as possible. So a class a month. BOOM! First goal.
Then this led to thinking maybe a themed year of goals? Maybe I spend a whole year just focusing on writing and education? Not sure yet. But it's an idea.
I'm also starting to look at last year's goals and figuring out what I've hit and what I've missed. I won't really get serious about that for a few weeks and of course I'll post the recap blog at the end of this month. But what the pre-review shows me is what I really cared about doing. The ones that were important to me I made a priority and finished. The others? Well...let's just say that living painting is STILL not done...
But in setting next year it helps to know what I cared about this year. Not every goal should be a comfort zone one, there needs to be stretching, but there is no point in setting goals I will never hit because I don't really care about them.
One of this year's big goals has actually helped in that area a lot. Sorting my old blogs gave me a chance to re-read them and see the areas where I've worked really hard in the past to convince myself I cared about certain things. The things I sort of feel like I should care about, or be better at but I just don't and I'm just not. So I think that might be a goal for next year as well. To let go of those things. To stop trying to convince myself that I really should do x, y or z.
I'm not sure yet.
I did actually have the November stretch, as I always seem to, where I seriously considered having zero goals for next year. No brass rings to reach for. No stars, no stickers, no lists. And as it always does, in November, it really sounded kind of cool. Then I remembered who I was and laughed and laughed and laughed. Let go of x, y or z, put that on a list!
So why am I writing this today? Surely not because I still need a handful of blogs to reach the 2018 goal...surely not that...Okay, maybe a little of that. But honestly if you are reading this tell me what you are going to work on for 2019. I'm curious and I'm not above stealing a good idea. So let me know, what do you want to accomplish in 2019?
So far I'm taking MasterClasses
I'm letting go of more of what I'm not (#fiftyisnifty)
I'm sticking with Daily Gratitude
I'm sticking with #selfiesaturday
And....hmmm...what else?
Friday, December 7, 2018
Planning Time!
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
"There he is!" James gestured toward the door as Andrew rushed in to the bar to meet them.
"Sorry about that, I got held up."
Carrie nodded, "James said you were at the menorah lighting. No big deal."
"Except that was over like an hour ago..." James pointed out.
"Be nice."
"I am being nice. He's just late."
"Sorry, I know it. I do feel badly but I ran into someone there and I was just going to say hi but then we started talking and I totally lost track of time. I'm really sorry. But you have my full attention now."
Carrie looked at James and smiled a little, "Well actually now you have our full attention, who did you run into that was able to distract you for an hour?"
"Just someone..." Andrew could feel himself starting to blush. For some reason his brother's fiance could make him feel like a little kid again.
"Just someone..." Carrie smiled again, "Was she pretty?"
Andrew shook his head, "No. Stop it, it's not like that. I mean, it's not that she isn't pretty, she is, but we were just saying hello. I wasn't saying hello just because she's pretty, but she is pretty, but that isn't why."
James nodded, "Makes perfect sense."
"Stop it. Look, I'm late. I'm sorry. Let's move along, shall we?"
Carrie let her future brother-in-law off the hook. "Okay. For now."
James reached into his computer bag and pulled out a binder. "This is the last minute checklist for the wedding. It's all pretty much dialed in. Venue, time, minister, cake, all of it. Just need to do the follow ups."
"I still can't believe you guys are getting married on Christmas Eve."
"Just be glad I talked her out of Christmas Day."
Carrie beamed, "Christmas is my favorite. Why wouldn't I want to get married at Christmas? You knew that before you even asked me out, James, so really what did you expect?"
James laughed, it was true he had known about Carrie and Christmas for years before they finally decided to risk their friendship with a date. But he was glad he had talked her out of Christmas Day. And glad they found a place that would do a Christmas Eve wedding. And that their friends all agreed to give up a piece of their afternoon that day to come. It was going to be a beautiful wedding. He knew guys didn't normally get that excited about the wedding, but he really had loved all the planning, he was going to make this the perfect day for Carrie.
"Okay, so what all do you need me to do? It looks like it's all locked in?" Andrew was as impressed as ever with how organized his brother was.
"Just make some calls to double check everything and then next week we will go in for our tuxes. It's almost time."
Carrie looked at the list that James was giving to Andrew and smiled. It really was going to be perfect and everything was well in hand. "Okay, now tell us about the pretty girl who was so distracting."
Andrew smiled and shook his head, he should have known he wasn't going to get away that easily. "James, you remember the girl from Julianne's party?"
"The one that needed some more self esteem?"
Andrew kind of looked pained, "Yeah, that...seems she had a bunch I didn't know about."
--------------
Lauren walked home from the menorah lighting smiling to herself. She hadn't expected to run into anyone that she knew there but especially not Andrew. And she was pretty sure she hadn't imagined the look on his face when she talked about breaking up with Tyler. She'd have to give him a call after the new year and see about getting some coffee. Dating during the holidays was not on her list at all. But maybe the new year would bring new things.
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
"There he is!" James gestured toward the door as Andrew rushed in to the bar to meet them.
"Sorry about that, I got held up."
Carrie nodded, "James said you were at the menorah lighting. No big deal."
"Except that was over like an hour ago..." James pointed out.
"Be nice."
"I am being nice. He's just late."
"Sorry, I know it. I do feel badly but I ran into someone there and I was just going to say hi but then we started talking and I totally lost track of time. I'm really sorry. But you have my full attention now."
Carrie looked at James and smiled a little, "Well actually now you have our full attention, who did you run into that was able to distract you for an hour?"
"Just someone..." Andrew could feel himself starting to blush. For some reason his brother's fiance could make him feel like a little kid again.
"Just someone..." Carrie smiled again, "Was she pretty?"
Andrew shook his head, "No. Stop it, it's not like that. I mean, it's not that she isn't pretty, she is, but we were just saying hello. I wasn't saying hello just because she's pretty, but she is pretty, but that isn't why."
James nodded, "Makes perfect sense."
"Stop it. Look, I'm late. I'm sorry. Let's move along, shall we?"
Carrie let her future brother-in-law off the hook. "Okay. For now."
James reached into his computer bag and pulled out a binder. "This is the last minute checklist for the wedding. It's all pretty much dialed in. Venue, time, minister, cake, all of it. Just need to do the follow ups."
"I still can't believe you guys are getting married on Christmas Eve."
"Just be glad I talked her out of Christmas Day."
Carrie beamed, "Christmas is my favorite. Why wouldn't I want to get married at Christmas? You knew that before you even asked me out, James, so really what did you expect?"
James laughed, it was true he had known about Carrie and Christmas for years before they finally decided to risk their friendship with a date. But he was glad he had talked her out of Christmas Day. And glad they found a place that would do a Christmas Eve wedding. And that their friends all agreed to give up a piece of their afternoon that day to come. It was going to be a beautiful wedding. He knew guys didn't normally get that excited about the wedding, but he really had loved all the planning, he was going to make this the perfect day for Carrie.
"Okay, so what all do you need me to do? It looks like it's all locked in?" Andrew was as impressed as ever with how organized his brother was.
"Just make some calls to double check everything and then next week we will go in for our tuxes. It's almost time."
Carrie looked at the list that James was giving to Andrew and smiled. It really was going to be perfect and everything was well in hand. "Okay, now tell us about the pretty girl who was so distracting."
Andrew smiled and shook his head, he should have known he wasn't going to get away that easily. "James, you remember the girl from Julianne's party?"
"The one that needed some more self esteem?"
Andrew kind of looked pained, "Yeah, that...seems she had a bunch I didn't know about."
--------------
Lauren walked home from the menorah lighting smiling to herself. She hadn't expected to run into anyone that she knew there but especially not Andrew. And she was pretty sure she hadn't imagined the look on his face when she talked about breaking up with Tyler. She'd have to give him a call after the new year and see about getting some coffee. Dating during the holidays was not on her list at all. But maybe the new year would bring new things.
It Was a Dark and Stormy Night...
The fog was especially thick. Two feet in front of your nose seemed a stretch. But they weren't worried. They had been through worse. Just trust and follow. The beacon of safety was glowing ahead. Leading them clearly. It was always an amazing thing to see.
When traveling through fog time takes on a twisted shape. Like it can't see its way through clearly either. You think no time at all has passed and then realize it's been hours. Or you think it's been hours and realize it's only been a few minutes. Time gets lost in the fog as easily as everything else.
But still how long had they been flying? It really did seem like they should be landing soon. And it was getting really cold. Shouldn't their first stop have taken them someplace warmer?
Rooftop? Did this feel like a rooftop? It feels like a cliff edge. And what is that sound? Wolves? Surely not wolves. There should be carolers. Maybe jingle bells. And the smell of freshly baked cookies. Not...what was this smell? Fear?
Blitzen felt the laxness in the line first. The lead had been unhooked.
"What's going on, buddy?" Nothing infront of him. Not even a glow.
Then they all saw it. The faint tinge of red in the fog and the clouds flying away. Leaving them stranded. No idea where they were. How to get out safely.
"Who's laughing now?"
---------
"HO! HO! HO!"
Rudolph shook his head clearing it of the daydream. Time to get to work. But one day...one day they'd play his reindeer games.
When traveling through fog time takes on a twisted shape. Like it can't see its way through clearly either. You think no time at all has passed and then realize it's been hours. Or you think it's been hours and realize it's only been a few minutes. Time gets lost in the fog as easily as everything else.
But still how long had they been flying? It really did seem like they should be landing soon. And it was getting really cold. Shouldn't their first stop have taken them someplace warmer?
Rooftop? Did this feel like a rooftop? It feels like a cliff edge. And what is that sound? Wolves? Surely not wolves. There should be carolers. Maybe jingle bells. And the smell of freshly baked cookies. Not...what was this smell? Fear?
Blitzen felt the laxness in the line first. The lead had been unhooked.
"What's going on, buddy?" Nothing infront of him. Not even a glow.
Then they all saw it. The faint tinge of red in the fog and the clouds flying away. Leaving them stranded. No idea where they were. How to get out safely.
"Who's laughing now?"
---------
"HO! HO! HO!"
Rudolph shook his head clearing it of the daydream. Time to get to work. But one day...one day they'd play his reindeer games.
Snowflakes...
So I'm sure you guys have seen it, those soft, candyass, easily insulted snowflakes are at it again. This time it's over a song and a kid's Christmas special. I swear to god they just take everything so fucking personally and try to ruin EVERYTHING.
Who the hell cares if a radio station you've never heard of won't play a song you probably don't even like? And honest to fuck when was the last time you even watched Rudolph? You seriously want to have a fit because someone else doesn't like these things? Really? In the season where people keep insisting that fruitcake is edible this is the hill you want to die on?
Oh...wait, you thought I'd be bitching about those damn millennials right? Yeah, no. And trust me when I say I get how ironic this blog is, because I don't care what other people like or don't like and I do not get the joy people take in getting offended at other people's offendedness. Seriously. Who the fuck cares?
First off the song, I like it. I've always liked it. My favorite version is probably the version with Ella Fitzgerald. It's been part of my Christmas playlist forever. I've always thought of it as kind of sexy and playful. When Christopher was in high school (or possibly first year of college) he questioned my love for it. Made me stop down and really listen to the lyrics again. It led to us having a discussion about changing norms. And how when the song came out, and even when I was growing up, it didn't seem problematic at all. I was raised in a situation where women were responsible for not only their own sexual desires but also the men around them remember, and the woman is the one facing the backlash to her reputation. She needed to "put up the fight." Christopher pointed out that that is part of our problem now. We've raised generations of boys to men who think that no means maybe.
And he's right.
In a modern context the song has real issues.
But historically it doesn't.
But he doesn't have that history. He was raised by a mom who told him no means no and to be extra careful when alcohol is involved because a tipsy yes the night before can turn into an oh no that's not what I wanted the next day. So for him, the fact that I love a song about getting drunk and saying no/yes was weird.
I get it.
I still like the song. But I get it. I understand why it's weird to him. And I understand why it's weird to other people in his generation. I'm not mad at him. I'm not insulted by them. I listened, I understood the issue he had, I will not make him listen to the song. But I'll still belt it out when he's not around.
That's the way it's supposed to work when you have different ideas. Listen to their whys and how comes and then make your own choices. The radio station (or stations as it spreads) that aren't playing the song anymore made their choice. Now you have to turn to the hundreds of versions that are out there in the world and listen to them on your own. Oh how horrible...
The TV show? Come on. You want to tell me that you never thought to yourself the same things? We watch a lot of Christmas movies and have our favorites. And though we love Yukon Cornelius and The Bumble and I have a soft spot for the Island of Misfit Toys we've always called this one the one where Santa is a dick. Because he is. And the whole message of Rudolph is that if you are different people are going to be assholes to you until they figure out that your difference is something they need, then they will celebrate you and act like they didn't shove you in a locker in 9th grade...
It's the geek fantasy in stop motion. You know the one, you've seen it in movies and read it in books and maybe lived it in your head. The one where the dork from high school goes on to make a million and show up at their high school reunion with the great car, the nice suit and the hot wife? Or the one where the awkward girl takes off her glasses and becomes a beauty queen? (yeah, let's delve into the problems with those later)
Rudolph is that story.
If you want your kids to watch that's up to you. If you take what Huffpo post in a video so seriously that you need to call liberals mentally ill you should probably take a bit of a media break, Tucker Carlson I'm side eyeing you right here.
Again, we watch it. Sometimes. But it's not our favorite. Because it's the one where Santa is a dick. We prefer Santa Claus is coming to town where Santa finds a hot wife and The Year Without a Santa Claus where The Heat Miser and Cold Miser sing wonderful songs while Santa's still hot, but older now, wife saves the fucking day because Santa got a cold and didn't want to get out of bed....
So just stop. Stop buying in to the outrage machine. Just because someone doesn't like something you do you don't have to get mad. Just because someone else is offended by something doesn't mean you have to care. You can listen, try to see why they are bugged, that's polite, but you don't have to agree, and you surely don't have to find their offendedness so offensive that you have to get defensive about it.
Let it fucking go.
The millennials aren't ruining your Christmas by not liking Baby It's Cold Outside or Rudolph. They are only ruining your Christmas if they insist on bringing you fruitcake.
Who the hell cares if a radio station you've never heard of won't play a song you probably don't even like? And honest to fuck when was the last time you even watched Rudolph? You seriously want to have a fit because someone else doesn't like these things? Really? In the season where people keep insisting that fruitcake is edible this is the hill you want to die on?
Oh...wait, you thought I'd be bitching about those damn millennials right? Yeah, no. And trust me when I say I get how ironic this blog is, because I don't care what other people like or don't like and I do not get the joy people take in getting offended at other people's offendedness. Seriously. Who the fuck cares?
First off the song, I like it. I've always liked it. My favorite version is probably the version with Ella Fitzgerald. It's been part of my Christmas playlist forever. I've always thought of it as kind of sexy and playful. When Christopher was in high school (or possibly first year of college) he questioned my love for it. Made me stop down and really listen to the lyrics again. It led to us having a discussion about changing norms. And how when the song came out, and even when I was growing up, it didn't seem problematic at all. I was raised in a situation where women were responsible for not only their own sexual desires but also the men around them remember, and the woman is the one facing the backlash to her reputation. She needed to "put up the fight." Christopher pointed out that that is part of our problem now. We've raised generations of boys to men who think that no means maybe.
And he's right.
In a modern context the song has real issues.
But historically it doesn't.
But he doesn't have that history. He was raised by a mom who told him no means no and to be extra careful when alcohol is involved because a tipsy yes the night before can turn into an oh no that's not what I wanted the next day. So for him, the fact that I love a song about getting drunk and saying no/yes was weird.
I get it.
I still like the song. But I get it. I understand why it's weird to him. And I understand why it's weird to other people in his generation. I'm not mad at him. I'm not insulted by them. I listened, I understood the issue he had, I will not make him listen to the song. But I'll still belt it out when he's not around.
That's the way it's supposed to work when you have different ideas. Listen to their whys and how comes and then make your own choices. The radio station (or stations as it spreads) that aren't playing the song anymore made their choice. Now you have to turn to the hundreds of versions that are out there in the world and listen to them on your own. Oh how horrible...
The TV show? Come on. You want to tell me that you never thought to yourself the same things? We watch a lot of Christmas movies and have our favorites. And though we love Yukon Cornelius and The Bumble and I have a soft spot for the Island of Misfit Toys we've always called this one the one where Santa is a dick. Because he is. And the whole message of Rudolph is that if you are different people are going to be assholes to you until they figure out that your difference is something they need, then they will celebrate you and act like they didn't shove you in a locker in 9th grade...
It's the geek fantasy in stop motion. You know the one, you've seen it in movies and read it in books and maybe lived it in your head. The one where the dork from high school goes on to make a million and show up at their high school reunion with the great car, the nice suit and the hot wife? Or the one where the awkward girl takes off her glasses and becomes a beauty queen? (yeah, let's delve into the problems with those later)
Rudolph is that story.
If you want your kids to watch that's up to you. If you take what Huffpo post in a video so seriously that you need to call liberals mentally ill you should probably take a bit of a media break, Tucker Carlson I'm side eyeing you right here.
Again, we watch it. Sometimes. But it's not our favorite. Because it's the one where Santa is a dick. We prefer Santa Claus is coming to town where Santa finds a hot wife and The Year Without a Santa Claus where The Heat Miser and Cold Miser sing wonderful songs while Santa's still hot, but older now, wife saves the fucking day because Santa got a cold and didn't want to get out of bed....
So just stop. Stop buying in to the outrage machine. Just because someone doesn't like something you do you don't have to get mad. Just because someone else is offended by something doesn't mean you have to care. You can listen, try to see why they are bugged, that's polite, but you don't have to agree, and you surely don't have to find their offendedness so offensive that you have to get defensive about it.
Let it fucking go.
The millennials aren't ruining your Christmas by not liking Baby It's Cold Outside or Rudolph. They are only ruining your Christmas if they insist on bringing you fruitcake.
Monday, December 3, 2018
Civility Schmivility...
I just finished Ben Sasse's book Them: Why We Hate Each Other--And How to Heal. It was interesting in parts and very frustrating in others. Part of the frustration was directly due to the Why part. The whole we just do not see the world in the same way. Now, to be fair, he does own up to it a bit at the beginning of his book. He says that he's a conservative dude so his examples are from a conservative mindset.
It's part of why I wanted to read the book. And why I kept reading it even when I found it to be more frustrating than really helpful. I think Ben Sasse is a really reasonable guy. I think that he wants what is best for the country. I think he's got a good heart, and he's pretty smart as well. I always enjoy listening to him on radio programs and television shows. In fact the first time I heard him on NPR a few years ago I posted about him, that I might have finally found another old school style republican that I could vote for again. Because of all of that I've looked in to him a bit more and I've paid attention to him. I wouldn't vote for him. He's very conservative, I'm not. But I like him. I think he's genuine. Though we don't agree on policy or methods I think we would agree on a lot of other basic things.
But even with all that. Even thinking to myself that he's smart and concerned and a good guy he still did the blinders thing. While writing a book about how we need to get rid of the blinders. He used examples of outrages on the left that have been debunked. It makes me so frustrated when that happens. Because I cannot have an honest discussion with someone (or read their book with an open mind) if they are not willing to let go of ideas that have been proven false.
And yes, I know, the left does it too. Got it.
Which is, as you know, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Whataboutism. Even before I had ever heard the term Whataboutism or Bothsiderism I had been railing against it. It makes me crazy to see people excuse bad behavior because the other side has done it, or worse. What does that have to do with anything? You wouldn't accept that excuse from your child you shouldn't make it for your politicians.
But anyway...Ben Sasse had a little of that going on in his book and it made me read the rest with a healthy dose of side eye. That and his recommendations for how we fix our current problems seemed to be we all become conservative, religious, republicans...so umm...yeah...no. But he still sits on the bench with "Republicans I would be friends with." It used to be a pretty good sized bench, bleachers really. Now I wonder. But part of that is because a lot of the people that used to sit there moved to the "Independents" benches. They are waiting out the change in their party. I get that.
So speaking of that middle space...
While I was finishing up Ben Sasse (Sassypants as I am calling him, it's okay, he'd be fine with it, we could totally be friends) President Bush (the elder) died. First there was the traditional rest in peace posting. Then came the legacy posting. He had been ill for a long time so these were all pretty much ready to go. Which is slightly morbid on one hand, but also kind of nice on the other. He had enough of a legacy that people worked on them ahead of time to get the tone right. To cover what they felt was important to know. And then after those came the inevitable "OH NO! He's awful and here's why!" posts. It always happens with politicians. And often happens with anyone else. I mean Stan Lee got just over a day of mourning before the "here's all the awful stuff you are forgetting" posts. It makes me crazy. It's not the time nor the place. Give it a rest. Talking to C about it and he put it really well he said it's like people think if they don't get their correct the public record posts out right away the person who died will be cemented in history as perfect.
And that's not how it works. Not at all. There will be lots of histories written about George HW Bush. Lots of things that cover the whole of his life. The good and the bad. And there is plenty of both. How you feel about him depends entirely on what you focus on. I've always been a champion for him. He took the blame for Reagan's Voodoo Economics (even though that's his own term and he KNEW it wouldn't work, he still gets the blame for when it didn't work) and he doesn't get the credit for the things he did to stop the hemorrhaging and put back in some regulations and basically start us on the road to recovery which hit full force during Clinton's years so he get credit. (Whataboutism/Bothsiderism...right now the people trying to claim that Trump is fully responsible for the recovery last year and the year before are doing the same thing that people who tried to give Clinton all credit for Bush's work did. Trump and Clinton both added a few things, but both benefited from the previous administrations work) But I could just as easily find him to be the worst person ever because of how he handled (or didn't handle as the case may be) the AIDS crisis.
Considering how near and dear to my heart that is I could just put Bush in the irredeemable box and never look again. Which I haven't done. Because I feel like judging people from their 1980s stances on anything to do with homosexuality is a bad thing to do. Yes, there were people out there doing good things. Yes not everyone felt that being gay was a disease in and of itself. Yes, there were a lot of people on the right side of history as we like to say. But there were a lot who weren't as well. And that was the norm. And breaking out of societal norms is difficult and takes time. And we really need to have a path where we forgive the sins of the past and look at who people are now.
So...
I like President Bush (the elder). I liked the friendship he formed with President Clinton. I liked the good they did toward charity work. I give him credit for what he did as a president (Fiscal policy, international work that made the ending of the Cold War go a little smoother than it might have, ending Gulf War One on the terms that it was started) I didn't vote for him. I sure as hell didn't vote for his son. I wouldn't have agreed with him on a lot of policy things, but I did agree with him on others. There was a balance there.
And mostly I saw him as human. As a person. Not as a figurehead of REPUBLICAN SCUM WE MUST RAIL AGAINST!
And I think we need to look for those things more.
Now, the caveats. I do not view Trump that way. I find him to be awful and his R isn't why. I find the people that still stand by him and swear they are the good guys to be puzzling. I don't see the world the way they do, and to be perfectly frank, I never want to.
So I'm not expecting us all to just get along and be fine.
I'm not expecting you to ever just shush about the really important things just for the sake of getting along with each other.
I'm not expecting you to say that your neighbor is good at math so his confederate flag isn't that big of a deal.
There are true and actual things we should be upset about and never give an inch about.
But not everything is one of those things.
So try to find common ground with the basically good people who just disagree with you on some policy items. Try to keep your mouth shut when it's appropriate, and the days following someone's death are appropriate days for that. Try to understand that your signalling isn't more important than someone else's grief. Basically be better.
And try to help other people be better as well.
We need to all figure out how to do that to make sure this grand experiment keeps working.
It's part of why I wanted to read the book. And why I kept reading it even when I found it to be more frustrating than really helpful. I think Ben Sasse is a really reasonable guy. I think that he wants what is best for the country. I think he's got a good heart, and he's pretty smart as well. I always enjoy listening to him on radio programs and television shows. In fact the first time I heard him on NPR a few years ago I posted about him, that I might have finally found another old school style republican that I could vote for again. Because of all of that I've looked in to him a bit more and I've paid attention to him. I wouldn't vote for him. He's very conservative, I'm not. But I like him. I think he's genuine. Though we don't agree on policy or methods I think we would agree on a lot of other basic things.
But even with all that. Even thinking to myself that he's smart and concerned and a good guy he still did the blinders thing. While writing a book about how we need to get rid of the blinders. He used examples of outrages on the left that have been debunked. It makes me so frustrated when that happens. Because I cannot have an honest discussion with someone (or read their book with an open mind) if they are not willing to let go of ideas that have been proven false.
And yes, I know, the left does it too. Got it.
Which is, as you know, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. Whataboutism. Even before I had ever heard the term Whataboutism or Bothsiderism I had been railing against it. It makes me crazy to see people excuse bad behavior because the other side has done it, or worse. What does that have to do with anything? You wouldn't accept that excuse from your child you shouldn't make it for your politicians.
But anyway...Ben Sasse had a little of that going on in his book and it made me read the rest with a healthy dose of side eye. That and his recommendations for how we fix our current problems seemed to be we all become conservative, religious, republicans...so umm...yeah...no. But he still sits on the bench with "Republicans I would be friends with." It used to be a pretty good sized bench, bleachers really. Now I wonder. But part of that is because a lot of the people that used to sit there moved to the "Independents" benches. They are waiting out the change in their party. I get that.
So speaking of that middle space...
While I was finishing up Ben Sasse (Sassypants as I am calling him, it's okay, he'd be fine with it, we could totally be friends) President Bush (the elder) died. First there was the traditional rest in peace posting. Then came the legacy posting. He had been ill for a long time so these were all pretty much ready to go. Which is slightly morbid on one hand, but also kind of nice on the other. He had enough of a legacy that people worked on them ahead of time to get the tone right. To cover what they felt was important to know. And then after those came the inevitable "OH NO! He's awful and here's why!" posts. It always happens with politicians. And often happens with anyone else. I mean Stan Lee got just over a day of mourning before the "here's all the awful stuff you are forgetting" posts. It makes me crazy. It's not the time nor the place. Give it a rest. Talking to C about it and he put it really well he said it's like people think if they don't get their correct the public record posts out right away the person who died will be cemented in history as perfect.
And that's not how it works. Not at all. There will be lots of histories written about George HW Bush. Lots of things that cover the whole of his life. The good and the bad. And there is plenty of both. How you feel about him depends entirely on what you focus on. I've always been a champion for him. He took the blame for Reagan's Voodoo Economics (even though that's his own term and he KNEW it wouldn't work, he still gets the blame for when it didn't work) and he doesn't get the credit for the things he did to stop the hemorrhaging and put back in some regulations and basically start us on the road to recovery which hit full force during Clinton's years so he get credit. (Whataboutism/Bothsiderism...right now the people trying to claim that Trump is fully responsible for the recovery last year and the year before are doing the same thing that people who tried to give Clinton all credit for Bush's work did. Trump and Clinton both added a few things, but both benefited from the previous administrations work) But I could just as easily find him to be the worst person ever because of how he handled (or didn't handle as the case may be) the AIDS crisis.
Considering how near and dear to my heart that is I could just put Bush in the irredeemable box and never look again. Which I haven't done. Because I feel like judging people from their 1980s stances on anything to do with homosexuality is a bad thing to do. Yes, there were people out there doing good things. Yes not everyone felt that being gay was a disease in and of itself. Yes, there were a lot of people on the right side of history as we like to say. But there were a lot who weren't as well. And that was the norm. And breaking out of societal norms is difficult and takes time. And we really need to have a path where we forgive the sins of the past and look at who people are now.
So...
I like President Bush (the elder). I liked the friendship he formed with President Clinton. I liked the good they did toward charity work. I give him credit for what he did as a president (Fiscal policy, international work that made the ending of the Cold War go a little smoother than it might have, ending Gulf War One on the terms that it was started) I didn't vote for him. I sure as hell didn't vote for his son. I wouldn't have agreed with him on a lot of policy things, but I did agree with him on others. There was a balance there.
And mostly I saw him as human. As a person. Not as a figurehead of REPUBLICAN SCUM WE MUST RAIL AGAINST!
And I think we need to look for those things more.
Now, the caveats. I do not view Trump that way. I find him to be awful and his R isn't why. I find the people that still stand by him and swear they are the good guys to be puzzling. I don't see the world the way they do, and to be perfectly frank, I never want to.
So I'm not expecting us all to just get along and be fine.
I'm not expecting you to ever just shush about the really important things just for the sake of getting along with each other.
I'm not expecting you to say that your neighbor is good at math so his confederate flag isn't that big of a deal.
There are true and actual things we should be upset about and never give an inch about.
But not everything is one of those things.
So try to find common ground with the basically good people who just disagree with you on some policy items. Try to keep your mouth shut when it's appropriate, and the days following someone's death are appropriate days for that. Try to understand that your signalling isn't more important than someone else's grief. Basically be better.
And try to help other people be better as well.
We need to all figure out how to do that to make sure this grand experiment keeps working.
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Light the Lights...
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Lauren held her cup of hot chocolate and waited. It was almost time. Sunset was about 45 minutes away and since it was the first night there would be more of a ceremony before the first candle was lit. It was her own private tradition. Standing in Pioneer Courthouse Square waiting for the menorah to be lit. She wasn't Jewish. She wasn't anything. Her parents weren't religious. Her grandparents weren't religious. She was raised as secular as secular could be. So much so that she didn't even know the word secular until college when her roommate had told her she hadn't been allowed to listen to secular music growing up.
But because she had no religions dominating her head she could freely love the pageantry of all of the religions around her. So standing in Pioneer Courthouse Square with the giant Christmas tree to her back waiting for the menorah to be lit, while holding onto a "War on Christmas" Starbucks cup of hot chocolate had become one of her own private moments of holiday joy. She had started it as a teenager. Being allowed to head downtown on her own was a big deal. She and her girlfriends would walk around Meier and Frank and look at the holiday windows, then wander around Nordstroms pretending they could afford anything there, then over to the square for hot chocolate and watching the menorah be lit.
Changes came. Meier and Frank became Macy's and then closed all together. Her friends got jobs in other states after college and if they came home for Christmas it was only for a few days, maybe time to grab a cup of coffee someplace, but no time for leisurely wandering. She could actually afford some of the things in Nordstroms now and discovered that it was actually more fun to dream about them than it was to buy them.
But the thing that held steady was the joy she felt with that Christmas tree at her back and the menorah glowing in front of her while verses were recited in a language she didn't understand and sometimes poems were given that she did. She liked the pageantry. She liked the good parts. She liked the fancy lights. She liked the songs. She liked the poems. She liked the stories. She liked it all.
It made her happy.
--------------
"Is Andrew joining us?" Carrie asked.
James was dropping drinks off at the table. "Yeah, he'll be here soon. He said he wanted to stop at the square and watch the menorah lighting."
"Oh, I didn't know he converted."
James shook his head, "He didn't. We were raised Evangelical but he isn't anything now. He just really likes the menorah lighting for some reason."
Part Two
Part Three
Lauren held her cup of hot chocolate and waited. It was almost time. Sunset was about 45 minutes away and since it was the first night there would be more of a ceremony before the first candle was lit. It was her own private tradition. Standing in Pioneer Courthouse Square waiting for the menorah to be lit. She wasn't Jewish. She wasn't anything. Her parents weren't religious. Her grandparents weren't religious. She was raised as secular as secular could be. So much so that she didn't even know the word secular until college when her roommate had told her she hadn't been allowed to listen to secular music growing up.
But because she had no religions dominating her head she could freely love the pageantry of all of the religions around her. So standing in Pioneer Courthouse Square with the giant Christmas tree to her back waiting for the menorah to be lit, while holding onto a "War on Christmas" Starbucks cup of hot chocolate had become one of her own private moments of holiday joy. She had started it as a teenager. Being allowed to head downtown on her own was a big deal. She and her girlfriends would walk around Meier and Frank and look at the holiday windows, then wander around Nordstroms pretending they could afford anything there, then over to the square for hot chocolate and watching the menorah be lit.
Changes came. Meier and Frank became Macy's and then closed all together. Her friends got jobs in other states after college and if they came home for Christmas it was only for a few days, maybe time to grab a cup of coffee someplace, but no time for leisurely wandering. She could actually afford some of the things in Nordstroms now and discovered that it was actually more fun to dream about them than it was to buy them.
But the thing that held steady was the joy she felt with that Christmas tree at her back and the menorah glowing in front of her while verses were recited in a language she didn't understand and sometimes poems were given that she did. She liked the pageantry. She liked the good parts. She liked the fancy lights. She liked the songs. She liked the poems. She liked the stories. She liked it all.
It made her happy.
--------------
"Is Andrew joining us?" Carrie asked.
James was dropping drinks off at the table. "Yeah, he'll be here soon. He said he wanted to stop at the square and watch the menorah lighting."
"Oh, I didn't know he converted."
James shook his head, "He didn't. We were raised Evangelical but he isn't anything now. He just really likes the menorah lighting for some reason."
Saturday, December 1, 2018
CHRISTMAS!!!
Okay, so, I just had pancakes with maple syrup and a creme brulee latte so I am full of sugar...just a warning...but it's CHRISTMAS TIME!
December 1st. For all but the staunchest of the Christmas creep people December 1st marks the perfectly acceptable barrier. (the staunchest are the 12 Days of Christmas people and I can respect that...but I can't abide by it, how do you fit it all in in 12 days?) But now December 1st! I got the house decorated yesterday, Brent will do the outside tomorrow. We've already had the Toy Drive Hockey Game so that's a bit of a bummer, it was early so it was like Thanksgiving themed...but anyway...Teddy Bear Toss is tonight and that is my FAVORITE game of the year. And it takes the sting out of missing the B1G playoff because we would have had to choose one or the other if we were in it...
ANYWAY...bought our teddy bears this morning as well as food for the food drive and as I mentioned we already had the toy drive, though there is usually something extra through Brent's work to do there as well. And I love it all.
We are monthly charitable givers. It's an automatic withdraw from Brent's paycheck, then donated to various charities through a matching program at his work. It's a great system. It gives the charities we give to extra money. It gives Intel a tax break. It is consistent giving that can be counted on. We are also catastrophe givers. When the major things happen we give to charities and organizations that can help people affected. Giving is part of what we do. But Christmas giving is different.
It seems like everyone feels warmer toward others at Christmastime. Like we can actually take a step back and see how lucky we are and how much we want to help others. We've done it for as long as we could afford it. And even before we really had much we still gave what we could. (Which studies show over and over again that those who have less, or who have had less, give more in relation to what they have, which makes sense to me. If you've ever had less than it's easy to imagine what it's like and to want to help others.) It was part of Christopher's Christmas growing up. Going to the Giving Tree and finding a gift tag for a child his age to get a gift for. And it was done with his money as soon as he started getting an allowance. The years that he had to tap his savings to get the "good gift" made me smile. No generic Ligo Plastic Bluck giving for him. He got it. Give what will make them happy. Give what you can. Give with an open heart. Give because you are able.
Okay, and now I'm going to take a little bit of a turn...
I want you all to give yourself a gift this season. I want you to give away something that is making you unhappy. Just let it go. It's the season of giving and I think we all deserve something nice. And a lot of time the nicest thing you can do is let go of what isn't making you happy.
Things you are doing.
Things you think you should be doing.
And the more complicated, people who are doing you no good.
Let them go.
Give yourself that gift.
Merry Christmas!
December 1st. For all but the staunchest of the Christmas creep people December 1st marks the perfectly acceptable barrier. (the staunchest are the 12 Days of Christmas people and I can respect that...but I can't abide by it, how do you fit it all in in 12 days?) But now December 1st! I got the house decorated yesterday, Brent will do the outside tomorrow. We've already had the Toy Drive Hockey Game so that's a bit of a bummer, it was early so it was like Thanksgiving themed...but anyway...Teddy Bear Toss is tonight and that is my FAVORITE game of the year. And it takes the sting out of missing the B1G playoff because we would have had to choose one or the other if we were in it...
ANYWAY...bought our teddy bears this morning as well as food for the food drive and as I mentioned we already had the toy drive, though there is usually something extra through Brent's work to do there as well. And I love it all.
We are monthly charitable givers. It's an automatic withdraw from Brent's paycheck, then donated to various charities through a matching program at his work. It's a great system. It gives the charities we give to extra money. It gives Intel a tax break. It is consistent giving that can be counted on. We are also catastrophe givers. When the major things happen we give to charities and organizations that can help people affected. Giving is part of what we do. But Christmas giving is different.
It seems like everyone feels warmer toward others at Christmastime. Like we can actually take a step back and see how lucky we are and how much we want to help others. We've done it for as long as we could afford it. And even before we really had much we still gave what we could. (Which studies show over and over again that those who have less, or who have had less, give more in relation to what they have, which makes sense to me. If you've ever had less than it's easy to imagine what it's like and to want to help others.) It was part of Christopher's Christmas growing up. Going to the Giving Tree and finding a gift tag for a child his age to get a gift for. And it was done with his money as soon as he started getting an allowance. The years that he had to tap his savings to get the "good gift" made me smile. No generic Ligo Plastic Bluck giving for him. He got it. Give what will make them happy. Give what you can. Give with an open heart. Give because you are able.
Okay, and now I'm going to take a little bit of a turn...
I want you all to give yourself a gift this season. I want you to give away something that is making you unhappy. Just let it go. It's the season of giving and I think we all deserve something nice. And a lot of time the nicest thing you can do is let go of what isn't making you happy.
Things you are doing.
Things you think you should be doing.
And the more complicated, people who are doing you no good.
Let them go.
Give yourself that gift.
Merry Christmas!
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